The Rebel Groomer

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

I did it.

I gave Rooney a haircut.

What on earth has come over me? Add this to the list of things that will surely be brought up at my Intervention.  In 17 years of parenting I have never once entertained the idea of giving one of my children a haircut.  Even when my daughter wasn't sporting more than 25 hairs on her head, I still took her to a professional. And, you may not have heard, but there are professionals available and willing to give your dog a haircut.  Really, there are!  And yet, here I am... The Crazy Puppy Lady...now wielding scissors. Heaven help us all.

It began with brushing and a bath.

I'm pretty sure Rooney knew something was up.

Once he was dry, it was time to make my game plan.  How much to cut? How to keep him still? Whether or not to throw in some color or highlights? (I'm kidding... we will save that for his prom...)

He didn't need much.  Just a little off the top, so to speak.

You can see that the fur had grown long enough that it was parting on the top.  I wanted to trim him back up to his more general, fluffy puppy look.  My goal was to trim about an inch off of his whole body.

That was the plan, but you know what they say about the best laid plans, right?

Well, as the evening progressed, following the brushing and the bathing, the wheels started coming off the bus.  There was a science project that needed to be finished involving a three dimensional Gila Monster and a shoe box. There was a list of spelling words that needed to be practiced.  There was the discovery that tomorrow is chapel day at school which requires clean khaki pants and a collared shirt (which were currently in a heap at the bottom of a very smelly hamper).  And, get this... apparently the consensus in my household is that everyone would like to eat dinner...every single night.

Harrumph.  Rooney's trim would have to wait...and wait...and wait...

Fast forward to three days later...

It was late in the evening.  Everyone was settled doing their own thing.  Rooney was comfortably sacked out on the kitchen floor. It occurred to me that this was my moment.  Scissors in hand, I went for it and probably broke every rule of grooming in the process.  Call me the Rebel Groomer.

Rooney was not freshly bathed (but he had been brushed).

I did not proceed with the cut in a careful, thoughtful progression.  Once I had trimmed down the top of his back, I pretty much went willy nilly from there.

I did not make Rooney stand for most any of the cut.  In fact, he was dozing most of the time and I just rolled him over when I needed to get to the other side.

Pretty much, I just started cutting and tried to be fairly conservative figuring I could always pull out the scissors again later.

And, all in all, I think it turned out pretty well!  I will have to tackle his legs a bit more at some point and I'm sure I will break more rules in the process. But I accomplished my initial goal of getting his body trimmed up and gaining back his fluffy, puppy coat.  My husband didn't even notice which I took as a good sign.  Of course he also doesn't notice dishes in the sink and crumbs on the counter, so maybe he isn't my best judge...

During the trim, Rooney didn't seem any worse for wear.  But I have noticed that he now gets a wary look on his face when I start to reach for the scissors.  

Seriously, Lady.  You had your fun.  Just put down the scissors and walk away slowly.  Go vacuum something. You seem to enjoy that.  Maybe a little television? You deserve a break.  You keep saying you need to get on the treadmill, so how about a little less talk and a lot more action.  Just step away from the scissors...

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

See! Colored highlights would have been a perfectly reasonable option. I'm just not sure how to achieve a more manly highlight look. Maybe blue would work? ;)

[Denise & Hunter!!!]

I had to laugh at the highlights!  If you have tween or teen girls one of the new trends is putting different colored streaks in your hair of purple, pink, orange, etc.  It's not permanent, it washes out the first time they wash their hair.  Well, Hunter has had a very colorful tail the last month or so, every few days she gets a touch up :-) 

[Rose Ann and Amante]

I think you are braver then I am, GOOD JOB!!!!

[Anna and Achilles]

Wow can I bring Achilles to you?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

You did an excellent job.

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

Everyone- Thank you so much for all of your supportive comments! I'll be sure to list you all by name as my co-dependents when they ambush me for my Intervention.  You will be bolster my defense that I'm not the only crazy Doodle lover in the world!

Kaytlin- Thanks for the explanation as to why a fresh bathing is necessary. See what a novice I am?  I didn't even know why it mattered!

Laurie- I don't think anyone should be offering to let me practice grooming on their dogs.  That will land you in a Dog Intervention for sure- because that is CRAZY! 

Doris and Sharon- My kids will be glad to know that someone thinks I'm funny! :-) They seem to opt for the word "weird" more often than funny.  I tell them I prefer "quirky" but that hasn't caught on yet.

Rachel- Oh I'll bet Rooney and Ollie would love to get together and swap tales about their nutty scissor wielding Moms! I can picture a lot of eye rolling.

Kimmy- There is a good chance that portions of Rooney will get left to the professionals at some point too.  We will see...

Lucy and Sophie's Mom- That's what I'm afraid of!!!!

Bonnie- I know I'm going to have to figure out the clipper thing at some point if I really want to make this work.  But, I gotta say, they scare me!  I'll bet Owen feels like a bunny!!

Sherri- Brave? Or crazy? Jury is still out.

Donna- I hear you.  I really don't consider Rooney's trim quite finished yet but I'm giving him a break from the scissors for a few days.  I'm guessing another brush, bath and clip is in the near future for him.  And, as I said before, clippers scare me!

[Donna K & Quincy]

The first time I decided to trim Quincy with the scissors I had a minor panic part way through. It looked horrible but I kept going and finally finished the job. When I say finished I use that term loosely since I was following him around for about two weeks with a pair of scissors trying to even things up a little. Yep, I can definitely see a pair of clippers in your future. :>)

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

You are much braver than I am. I am so worried I would botch it! You did a great job!

[Bonnie and Kona]

You are a wonderful writer! I am so glad you joined DK and are writing for all of us! I loved the blog. I am very impressed with Rooney's trim. You did a wonderful job!

I just clipped Owen last night. My DD usually is my helper but last night I coerced DH into standing next to Owen to prevent him jumping off the table. He took that to mean telling Owen what a good boy he was. (Owen is our more, let's say, "agile" dog and jumped off 3 times.) I had decided that our Sasquatch was going to get a major buzz. I told my family that he would be clipped to the skin! Well, it's really short, and I would have had a fit if a groomer had done it for money, but he does feel like crushed velvet.  I used to cut my son's hair while he slept. I'm pretty sure that would not work with Owen. Good job, Rooney.

[Rachel and Ollie]

This is awesome lol I too am a Rebel Groomer...and I've gotten less conservative each time I cut the doods fur. Ollie gives me the same look...as to say "Oh go read a book crazy lady." Ollie and Rooney would make a good team.