The World is being Taken Over by Rude People!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I usually love the weekends, but this one was not one of my favorites.  On most weekends, you will find us out on our pontoon boat having a good time.  I suppose good time is a relative term, because mostly we park our pontoon and all get in the water.  There is no music, no liquor, no dancing…just two dogs and two or three people enjoying their dogs and hopefully, the solitude of finding a quiet spot, uninterrupted by others.  What we didn’t know was that our town was holding a Rude People's Convention up at our lake and I am not sure how the word got out, but out it got.  Now, I could write a book on the things that bug me about people and I often say to any unfortunate person who happens to be with me that if I were President of the United States I would make some big changes in the current laws.  I never get any heads nodding in agreement that I would make a good President, just comments that they could just see me getting a call about a crisis after 8 pm and telling the person I am watching Everybody Loves Raymond reruns or Dancing with the Stars and I can’t be bothered.  I am going to stop now or end up sounding like the woman sitting behind us in Friendly’s the other night who in a matter of minutes complained about the lettuce, the bacon, the fact that her grilled cheese sandwich had less than six slices of cheese, the tomato soup, the amount of ice in her drink, the size of the sundaes in comparison to Baskin and Robbins’s, the bill, and having to tip.  I think the icing on the cake, however, was she made them give her the peanut butter topping her mother did not want on her sundae to take home and then complained that is was only one ounce worth of topping.  Apparently, after all that complaining she expected to go home with more free samples.

Back to my story before my blood pressure goes any higher….it all started on Friday night, when John and I took the dogs up to the lake for a boat ride and a swim.  We went to our newest favorite spot and parked the boat and we all got out.  Our lake has almost 27 miles of shoreline so there are spots a plenty to dock your boat.  I wanted to get some pictures and that started the bad weekend.  Apparently, there are members of my family who think I am obsessed with taking pictures of my dogs and one of them has gone so far as to call me Aunt Nancy.  Aunt Nancy is a wonderful aunt of mine who takes far too many pictures and often times drives people nuts by capturing moments that don’t need to be captured.  I have seen more pictures of me eating oatmeal or at Thanksgiving dinner with my mouth full and my hand up to block the shot then I would ever like to count.  I bet she also has a shot of every family member looking angry and saying, “put that damn camera away before I break it,” but all she ever does is laugh and say, “smile this time.” 

So, as much as I love Aunt Nancy, being called Aunt Nancy is not a compliment.  The real problem is all this name calling happened when I was telling my oldest daughter about our crappy weekend and how mean her dad was to me and instead of the sympathy and outpouring of love I expected, I got called Aunt Nancy and was told she thought her father was a saint.  She also went on to say that she tells everyone that I never even owned a camera when she and her sister were growing up and the last picture she has seen of herself was at age five, yet I bought a fancy camera and can’t stop photographing my dogs.  I understand that jealousy can make you say ugly things, but how could she forget the annual Christmas card picture when I dressed them alike or made them wear shirts that said, “Three Wise Men….Be Serious,” or something equally clever?

Sorry, girls, but you have been replaced!  These guys are easier to work with!

So anyway, there we were on Friday with a new toy I had gotten the dogs that required one of us to syphon the water from the lake and squirt it at the dogs and the other one to try and get a great picture.  I had no idea squirting water at the dogs could get tiresome until my squirter said he was done and he quit.  Frankly, I did not think his heart was in it to begin with and I was getting tired of saying, “is your squirter defective or something?” when his squirts did not match the vision I had in my head of how I needed the water to fall. 

More to the left, please!  What do you mean....you quit??

John then went on to say he didn’t know why we couldn’t relax on the boat and not have to worry about pictures of dogs and I agreed that he had a point and put my camera away.  I did say once, though, that he could be stifling a great talent and I felt with more practice the world was my oyster and I may just become one of those idiot savants the world often discovers who has unbelievable talent once introduced to the right activity. All he said was I had one of the words right and it wasn’t savant.  When we weren’t fighting over who was the bigger idiot, we were complaining to each other about the people with two dogs who felt that the best place to park in the entire lake was fifteen feet from our boat and seemed to be watching us far too closely.  They reminded me of those people in the movie theater who come in and sit directly in front of the only other people in the theater.  Vern was not happy about these interlopers and even swam out into the water to bark a warning. They stayed put and we started to feel like Kim and Kanye surrounded by paparazzi or maybe one of them was just writing a paper on the effects of name calling in a marriage and found a great couple out on the lake to observe.

We hide our pain behind those bright smiles!

On Saturday, I had a long talk with myself and decided I would do my best not to annoy other family members while still taking along my camera and getting some water shots of Fudge and Vern.  I wish I could say the talk helped, but it didn’t.  On this day, I was able to annoy not just John, but Hayley, too. I just think I have every right to ask people to move out of the shot who I don’t want in them and who seem to be purposely getting in my way. 

Hayley, Get out of the shot!!

Let’s just say it didn’t go well when Hayley yelled, “how was I supposed to know you were trying to take a picture?” and I yelled back, “hmmmm…..let’s see….I don’t know…maybe the first clue was I was holding a large camera and just said I was taking a picture.”  The same people with the same two dogs sped by us and Vern actually leapt off of our docked boat to let them know the spot was taken and made a big show of protecting our territory until one of the dogs barked back. At that point, he retreated and was just as happy barking his concerns from back at our boat.

I'm not kidding! I am really mad! Get out of here!

It was very windy on Saturday and John said it was far too windy to paddleboard, but I have never been one to let practical and reasonable advice slow me down. As Vern and I sat on the paddleboard, we started to get blown away from the boat and I truly was up the creek without a paddle. 

Just imagine this in wind with NO paddle!

As we drifted further from the boat, I yelled out, “we are getting pulled out to sea.  I need help finding my way back to you!” and all John and Hayley yelled in unison was, “see ya!”  One of them was nice enough to add, “Should we throw you your camera?” I am fairly sure the only reason they finally helped me was because of Vern.  There was also another tiff about inept versus idiot.

You would think it couldn’t get worse, but on Sunday we were parked in our usual spot when another boat with two dogs pulled up to the left of us and docked.  I did not bring my camera on Sunday and starting out I had high hopes that someone would notice and feel ashamed that he made his wife sacrifice her hopes and dreams of capturing the perfect dog water photo, but he didn’t.  I had planned on suffering in silence, but when no one seemed aware of my great sacrifice, I felt it necessary to point out that I was suffering in silence only to be told if that were true, why could they still hear me?  Anyway, we had spent part of the time throwing a new duck toy to the dogs and sitting on the paddleboard with Vern when these people ended up next to us.

I wish I could have taken a picture, because I could have sent it in to the dictionary people to put that picture next to the word rude.  Their dogs were not on leashes, which does not bother me if they stay put, but one of the dogs immediately began to make its way down to us.  I had gotten Vern in the boat by that time and Fudge was still playing catch in the water. I had hopes the dog would return back to his owners or at the very least, they would make an attempt to call him back. They did not say a word and even when the dog stopped to poop in the water no one moved to collect their dog or the deposit he had just made in the lake.  I tried to act nonchalantly when the dog arrived because I did not want Fudge or Vern to pick up on my nervousness.  The dog surprised Fudge and she quickly got out of the water and let him know the play date was canceled.  The other dog assumed a very submissive position, which is like saying to Fudge, “beat me up,” and John pulled Fudge back and the dog started to leave.  The owners never said a word, not an I’m sorry, not a come, dog, nothing, nada, and guess what, the dog came back and Fudge reiterated that they would not be friends. The day was ruined and we packed up our stuff and left, only to see these idiots move their boat to our former spot, which is, I suppose, what it had been about all along. 

We reported all this to the Ranger, but it still made me feel badly for a dog who ended up with bad owners and that Fudge, in particular, is never going to be a Dog Romp kind of dog.  That’s the problem with rude people. Often times their actions surprise you and catch you off guard because you can’t fathom acting so rudely and then you spend hours or even days replaying it in your mind and doing the whole could have, would have, should have, rewrites in your head. It ruins your day or your meal or your outing, and they don't care, because that is the definition of rude.  Mostly I don’t like feeling like Fudge did something wrong when nothing she did started this whole chain of reactions. I just wish Sunday had not happened and the only thing I had to worry about was whether or not to bring my camera next time. In the meantime, I am adding one more thing to my list of things I will be doing if I ever become President...anyone deemed rude by me shall be forced to wait on the lady from Friendly’s for an entire year.  For some reason, that just makes me smile.  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jennifer, Hmmmm....good idea. I need to come up with something really good :)

F and Karen, Luckily, I have a big yard, too.

Karen, I like this idea, but how do I know those idiots can read? LOL

Thanks, DJ!

[Jennifer and Jack]

THere really is a lot of rude people I am sure but the nice people far outweigh the rude ones.. it's just the rude ones that seem to get all the attention....... Next time someone pulls up so close to you start talking really loud about some contagious disease you have... (see how fast they move)

[F, Calla & Luca]

I'm lucky Karen, I have a big yard : )

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Sorry your weekend was spoiled by idiots. I think you need to order this shirt for every member of your family, and matching bandanas for F & V:

[DJ & Chance]

Fun blog! I also get totally annoyed by rude dog owners who don't control their dogs off leash or on leash when pooping. I love the punishment you imagine got them.

[F, Calla & Luca]

One of many reasons I won't run, besides if I'm lucky I can walk : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, I still think we could be a great team and I would love to boss you around :)

Jarka, We have that happen everywhere we go. Someone parks next to us or is getting in and out of the car when we get to our car. The nerve :) I think we would get along just fine. LOL

Lonnie, I do that, too. I think we all do. LOL I am glad I have one vote, maybe two, counting F :) We love that boat too much to let a couple of idiots spoil it for us.

Sheila, I know....I always have my camera with me, but I was trying to make a point :) I don't think you and Marnie should hang out together....Thelma and Louise :)

Joanna, I know what you mean about being a little sad. I think a romp would be fun, but not in the cards for us. Oh well....I wouldn't trade her for any romper :) Thank you!

Janie, LOL about still needing ice cream. I tend to hang on to things, too :) Ice cream does help! Thank you!

Nancy, So true :)

Donna, ROTFL...I initially called this blog The Dumb Convention, but changed the title at the last minute.

Cheryl, Yes, I needed those flying monkeys. I like how you think....F&V all over the place :) Thank you!!

Bonnie, Absolutely...we need Doodle command central :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jane, I told you I have never seen John drink a rum and coke until that cruise :) Something happened to him on that boat. LOL

[Bonnie and Kona]

Cheryl, Yup, she definitely needed the flying monkeys. We need to join forces for this kind of project.

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

This is when I really do wish you could call out the flying monkeys! I hope you decide to run for President, Laurie.  Not only could you "rehabilitate" the rude people - or jettison the morons to Mars- but I think Fudge and Vern would look stunning on the campaign posters, not to mention the Presidential seal.  Good boy Vern for trying to protect your family.  And we know Fudge is smaller so she has to be feistier!  Anyhow, they invaded your space --not the other way around.  That's a really nice picture of you and John and I hope your next boating adventure is happier!