Vern is NOT a Size Medium!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Years ago, before I married my husband, one of the things that convinced me that he was the one happened when he gave me a sweater for a gift in a size medium.  Maybe he needed new glasses or maybe he was a bad guesser, but no one had ever gotten me a medium sweater before and I was not going to let this man get away from me. Of course, I had to exchange the gift, as I was pretty sure I wasn’t even a medium at birth, but that was beside the point.  Now, years later, I have the biggest dog I have ever owned, who could never fit into a medium anything.

 

Yesterday, I was wandering the aisles of TJ Maxx, when the Halloween department caught my eye and in particular, the dog costumes.  I know many of you are strongly opposed to dressing up our dogs in costumes, but luckily for Fudge and Vern I am not one of those people.  I even had a friend look at me like I was out of my mind and ask me if I took them Trick or Treating.  When I said, “I’m not an idiot! Of course, we don’t go Trick or Treating. I am doing this for pictures.” I am not sure I made my case.

 

Well, imagine my surprise when I came across an adorable lion costume and the package showed it being modeled by either a Chocolate Poodle or Doodle.

It was like a sign from heaven to put that costume into my cart for my own Chocolate Doodle, Fudge. Luckily, it came in an XL and I knew Vern would take a turn too being a lion.  I showed my family when I got home and watched them shake their heads and then tried to put the thing on Fudge.  Let’s just say Fudge makes a strong case for the Naked Doodle Club and is not always as pliant as Vern is when it comes to modeling clothes. She did not seem to want to be a lion for Halloween.

 

Unfortunately, for the only other model I had nearby, it was his turn next. The anticipation was at such a high that even my daughter and husband waited eagerly for the results. Here is Vern modeling the XL Lion costume.

Notice the way it clings to his curves.  It sort of reminds me of trying on wedding dresses when most of the sample sizes came in size six or eight.  Getting this costume on Vern was like getting the sausage into the casing and I just kept saying over and over,  “This is an XL. Where do we go from here?” and thinking my sweet Vern was going to have to join Weight Watchers.  My husband said, “Maybe you could start treating them like they are dogs,” but I was too busy trying to think up other costumes to pay much attention to him.

 

After the photo session, I decided I had either just flushed $9.99 down the drain or I was going to need to enlist more help in getting that costume on Fudge.  Later, I went back into the kitchen and picked up the package only to see that somehow I had purchased a size MEDIUM and not an XL. How could I have made such an extra large mistake? I wasted no time telling my Vern that he wasn’t going to have to start keeping track of points and going to weigh-ins and that he was just big boned after all. 

 

(Here he is hanging his head in shame right before I told him it was all my fault)

He was so happy and Fudge was even happier, when she saw me packaging up that medium for a return trip to the store. Little do they know, they had plenty of costumes there for exchange and this time I will get the right size.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

My heart just breaks for poor Vern, he looks absolutely pathetic!

JD is in such a state of outrage over this, I don't think even his nightly beef tendon is going to get him settled down. He is asking me to Mapquest the shortest route to your house and to tell Vern he's on his way to bust him out of there!

[BG and Gavin]

ROFL!  It looks like poor Vern is wearing a hand puppet!  hahahahaha!