Wanted: Perfect Doodle

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

When we got Fudge, I don’t remember what research I did on the computer regarding Doodles, but I remember the no shedding was the icing on the cake.  I had spent years vacuuming up after two Labs and for a short haired dog, those dogs shed like nobody’s business.  A Labradoodle seemed like the best of both worlds for our family.  The wonderful personality of a Lab combined with no shedding just seemed perfect to me.  Luckily for us, without knowing what we were doing, we decided on Fudge, a F1B Labradoodle and she absolutely does not shed a hair.  What she does do is mat and mat and mat.   Imagine my surprise when I got on DoodleKisses AFTER we got Fudge and found out that many Doodles do indeed shed, and many shed buckets of hair, and others need lots and lots of grooming.  Next, we got our Vern, a F3 Labradoodle and while he sheds just a little, he does not mat like Fudge, although he should have come in a different color because he does like to roll in everything.  Sometimes, it is true that God looks out for fools, because we sure got lucky with our Doodles and the no shedding.

 

I also kept hearing that Doodles have the absolute best personality of any dog.  They love all other dogs, people, children, infants, and small creatures.  Well, guess what?  I socialized Fudge with other dogs at a very early age.  She has been to Puppy classes, doggie daycare, the pet sitter, and on play dates, but there are lots of dogs she does not like.  We no longer go to the dog park for this reason, yet I feel I did everything right, so why doesn’t Fudge love all other dogs?  Why isn’t she perfect? Everyone said Doodles get along with all dogs.  What I have come to terms with regarding Fudge is that she gets along with the dogs I care about, Vern, my daughter’s dogs, and my pet sitter’s dogs, and while we will probably never go to a Doodle Romp or back to the Dog Park, it does not diminish the love I feel for her.  She is also the most wonderful dog around the elderly, family and friends, nieces and nephews, and I am her favorite person in the whole wide world and she lets me know that every single day.

 

Next, we have our Vern, the sweetest dog on the planet, but not the bravest.  He spends half his life looking over his shoulder for the bogeyman and is much more cautious than Fudge is with people.  Once he loves you, he does not forget, but he wants to be sure you are worthy first.  Maybe I didn’t take him as many places as we did Fudge, because taking two dogs is a lot harder than taking one dog, but still we got out every single day and he has been to all the same places as Fudge, doggie daycare, dog sitter, puppy classes, and obedience classes.  When we brought him home and he met Fudge for the first time, he peed all over himself and made fearful sounds like you cannot believe.  It didn’t take long for him to fall in love with Fudge, but Vern is never going to be as brave as Fudge or let a stranger into our house without a word of warning first.  Why isn’t Vern perfect?  Everyone told me Doodles love everyone.  What I have come to terms with regarding Vern is that what he lacks in the bravery department, he makes up for in his ability to make me smile every day with his goofy ways and his infectious spirit.  Even when he peed in the Vet’s office after seeing himself in the mirror, I still was proud he was my dog and it did not diminish the love I feel for him.  I also feel safe when Vern is around because for a big old Chicken Doodle he has the absolute fiercest bark around and I really believe he would find a way to be brave if anyone threatened his much loved humans or Fudge.

 

I am a firm believer in that dogs and kids come with their own personality.  You can teach children right from wrong, but there is always going to be some kid that tests his parents daily and some kid that doesn’t.  My mom always talks about how much energy I had as a kid and how hard I was for her at times.  She claims my middle sister was far easier and the oldest preferred to stay in her room and read.  She also likes to tell everyone that her aunt made some sort of a lid for the top of my crib and a harness for me that kept me from climbing out of the crib.  The funny thing is she thinks crating a dog is mean, but apparently crating her own young child did not seem to bother her in the least.  The point I am trying to make is not that my mother should probably never speak of her parenting methods in public, but rather that every kid is different and you get what you get, in my opinion.  I feel the same way about dogs.  There is no breed of dog that arrives perfect or is perfect.  There is no human being on the planet that does not have quirks, flaws, and qualities that makes that person unique.   Aren’t we told as parents not to compare our children, yet we do it all the time with our dogs?

 

What does all this mean?  It means that one of the big problems with all the hype about Doodles is it is not fair to Doodles. People see an ad with a cute Doodle or hear a heartwarming story about a Doodle and right away think a Doodle is the dog for them.  After all, they must all be exactly like the dog in the story, right?  What they don’t take into consideration is the owner probably spent hours and hours training that dog and another few grooming the dog, because they sure don’t come that way.  I am not saying we don’t have some great dogs, because we definitely do, but when we use words like perfect, never, and always, we are making broad assumptions and setting expectations at an unattainable level even for our much loved Doodles.  Doodles have medical problems, some can shed, none are immune to illness, they all go through the puppy biting stage, some are easily trained, some not so much, some have separation anxiety, others do not, some are fearful, some are not, some have food issues, and I think you get the picture.

 

All I know is I am tired of seeing those Doodles scroll down the front page; many of them purchased by people who wanted a perfect dog and when reality sets in, out goes the dog.  A dog is a huge commitment and lots of research, questions, and soul searching should be done before bringing one home to be a member of the family.  Every dog, Doodle or not, deserves a commitment by the person taking that dog into their home.  If you are a parent and your child wants a dog, make sure you know you will be the primary caretaker, no matter what they say.  I was dumb and fell for that line and while my daughter was talking on the phone and out with friends, I was running home at lunch letting out the dog, cleaning up throw up, walking the dog, going to the vet, and filling food and water dishes. My daughter says all the time, “mom, I was ten, let it go,” but I guess I can’t just yet.  I think a dog is one of the best things you can do for your children and I think it teaches them love, selflessness, and kindness, BUT, and it is a big but, kids and dogs equal more work for the adult, and it is not fair to get rid of the dog because you didn’t think about that beforehand. I don’t know what to do to get people to stop buying dogs impulsively and to realize that a dog is a living creature with feelings and shouldn’t be tossed out like trash when the going gets tough.  All I know is that it starts maybe with all of us and when someone asks us about our Doodles, we should make sure we say and I am going to misquote Forrest Gump, “Doodles are like a box of chocolate.  You never know what you are gonna get.”

[Marcy, Apollo & Phoebe]

Thanks, Laurie! Vern and Fudge look like the perfect pair. And of love your description of their personalities:)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Marcy, Welcome to DK and thanks for your comment! LOL about the laid back dog. That is all I asked for when we got Fudge and the breeder told me she was the calmest one in the litter and did not react to anything. We think the breeder mixed up the dogs, because outside Fudge reacts to almost everything moving :) In the house, she is very laid back, but unfortunately, we have to leave sometime....LOL!! Sounds like you have the right attitude about getting a puppy. Congratulations. Apollo is adorable.

[Marcy, Apollo & Phoebe]

I love this post. I am fairly new to Doodle Kisses and am always surprised when I see parents on here wanting to give up their doodle. I will admit, I wanted a non or low shedding doodle due to allergies, but I took my time. I went w/ a multigen and spent hours around the mommy and the entire litter, to see if I had reaction, before deciding to add Apollo to our family. While I lucked up w/ the shedding, I was told that he would be laid back...not so. My baby is so rambunctious! I wouldn't change a thing. I didn't expect all of the nipping, jumping, barking, etc., but when I signed up for a puppy I signed up for the unknown. My husband and I can deal w/ this, just like we deal w/ our 2 year old and 5 year old. Apollo is not perfect, but no one in our family is perfect.We are perfect for each other though. And at this point, if I ever became allergic to Apollo, I'd seek any medical treatment possible...my crazy doodle isn't going anywhere!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jen, I love your description of your two Doodles. Vern would get along with those two muddy Doodles :) Thank you for a great comment.

Thanks, Adrianne!

Jarka, I loved your comments. Don't we all wish we could be the people our dogs think we are?? My DH says the dogs are much more mellow when I am gone, too. Thank you!

Lisa, Another great comment. It breaks my heart to think of the confusion these dogs must feel when they have to start all over. I hope Daisy gets her daddy back soon. Routine is so important to our dogs.

BG, That makes me sad, too, to think what could have happened if you had not picked Gavin and he would have ended up being re-homed. Your comment really hit home, because Fudge was a little shark, too, PLUS our breeder told us she was so calm and reacted to nothing. We think we got the wrong dog based on her description, but we got exactly the perfect dog for us. Not perfect, but we love her to pieces. I also know how hard you have worked to make Gavin such a great dog. Thank you for your comment.

Elizabeth, Based on those pictures, Vern says Bailey is the girl for him :) LOL

[Jen, Lachlan, and Declan]

Spot-on, Laurie. Thank you for writing this. I do wish every prospective doodle owner - and every prospective dog owner, for that matter - would read this. I giggled at the end because I tell people Dec and Lach are my chocolate-box dogs. You really have no idea what you're going to get until you've got it. My vet's been using my boys to talk to people about doodles, having gotten to know them both, and explains with great delight how different these brothers are and how Dec is going to shed buckets!

Lachlan's very laid back but still a little wary of new things even though I've been hauling him all over town since he was small enough to carry. He loves everyone and every dog he meets, which carries its own special set of problems because he has no canine social skills (I call him my engineer dog). Declan loves people but is shy with new dogs and has been known to try to climb into my back pocket if there's more than one. Lach doesn't shed but his coat is so thick it's completely unmanageable at longer than about two inches. Dec has a much looser coat but he's double-coated and will shed like a Golden. They're both incredibly destructive given half a chance (I'll upload a photo of what they did to the wall in my office later this week) and they both loooooove mud. I can't let either of them outside unsupervised because they'll promptly dig something up and eat it.

I went into this with my eyes wide open and wouldn't trade these boys for the world, but they're hard work and exhausting sometimes. I wish more people understood that FIRST.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Karen, this is just so wrong. I work with someone who is divorced, her ex has had 5 dogs in the past 4 years, guess how many he has now, ONE, and it is not one of the original 4..he picked it up yesterday on a whim. He has 4 children to support and now he is adding a bull mastiff to the mix. Guess how long this is going to last. I keep wondering why the shelter keeps giving him their dogs. A$$ is all I am going to say.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Lisa, you really hit the nail on the head. It's the FOREVER part that some people don't get.

The fact is, only one in every three dogs spends its entire life with the same owner.

The first time I read that, I was shocked. Now, thanks to the internet, I'm surprised it's even one in three.

[Adrianne Matzkin]

Laurie - your blog is perfection! 

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Lisa, I could  not agree with you more. People say dogs live in the moment, and they certainly do as long as they have their humans next to them. I had to be gone for a month last summer when my dad died (it was the longest I've even been away from Monty), and my DH said Monty was depressed. He would just sleep the day away, and normally, when I'm home, he just wants to play and go for car rides and walks. Even though my DH played with him and went out with him, Monty would still just lay by the door during the day and wait for me. For a month. I love my Monty. And I wish I was as perfect as he thinks I am.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Oh and Daisy is perfect, just like all of yours, at least to us they are.