Would You Clone Me?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Recently someone asked the question if we would clone our dogs and the unanimous answer was a resounding no.  To me, it sounds a little creepy and far-fetched, but then again, when I was growing up I would have never believed that we would be listening to songs on a device no bigger than a credit card and would have the ability to see someone who lived halfway across the country on something called a computer.  It sounded just about as preposterous as Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone. 

I grew up in simpler times when kids actually went outside to play and did not sit around playing video games all day.  I had a record player that played 33’s and 45’s and if you wanted to change the TV channel you had to get up and do it yourself.  When my best friend and I thought the divorcee in our neighborhood was allowing her boyfriend to sleep over at night we set up surveillance which consisted of the two of us checking to see if his station wagon moved from outside her house all night and meeting to review the shocking evidence in the morning.  We didn’t use gizmos or gadgets or even common sense to get the job done.  So, I guess you could say I grew up at a time when technology didn’t seem to be so prevalent and really out there ideas like “cloning” seemed like something you might see on My Favorite Martian, Bewitched, or I Dream of Jeannie.

I hate to leave any young people with the idea that my generation was always a little behind the times, so all I will say is two words, Mister Ed, a show about a talking horse and proof that we had technology wonders a plenty back then in the dark ages.

Cloning does indeed seem spooky to me. Would we really want an exact replica of anyone?  I may be more interested if I could take a favorite person and tweak a little here and there.  If I cloned my husband, I would make the newer version faster. Nowhere is his lack of speed more apparent than when we are trying to take photographs together.  Photography is either going to make or break us as a couple and it may top the list of things we cannot do together. As of this date, the list includes racquetball, canoeing, jogging, museums, yard work, painting, television watching, anything involving instructions or manuals, anything involving maps, directions, or a GPS, shopping, dog training, and bicycling is on the fence. In fact, when I asked him what we did well together, he said sleeping, and then I reminded him that last week I woke up mad at him after having a bad dream.  I dreamed we went on a family cruise and the boat sank, but we were all rescued, except I couldn’t find him.  I was in a panic trying to locate him and walked into the cruise dining hall and there he was enjoying dinner with his family.  I got very angry and yelled, “have you even been looking for me?” and all he said back was, “I was hungry. What did you expect me to do first?”  It took me several minutes after I woke up to calm down and remember it was only a dream, but in those several minutes even sleeping seemed like something we wouldn’t be doing together too much longer.

I have been running around all week asking my family if they would clone me. The first thing John asked was whether or not the clone would talk. When I told him the clone would be exactly like me, he wanted to know if he could plead the Fifth. When I asked my oldest, Megan, she said I was weird and she wouldn’t want two of me and when I explained that it would only be if something happened to me, she said, “Mom, it would probably be best if we just moved on,” and then she started laughing and said, “good one, Megan!” My youngest, Hayley, didn’t really give an explanation, she just said a very loud NO.  On another phone conversation, I asked Megan to ask my son-in-law and the phone went dead, although I swear before it did, I heard a male voice say, “just tell her no one wants to clone her and put a stop to this nonsense.”

I also think cloning a person would get downright confusing, especially if the clone and original lived near each other. They say every one has a doppelganger and I have long suspected mine is out there because I get stopped every now and then and asked how someone I have never seen before might know me.  The few times I have replied, “maybe someone looks like me in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition or are you thinking about a Supermodel?” the questioner usually starts laughing.  Once, one of the old women at the place where I volunteered said, “no, that’s definitely not it at all,” and didn’t even crack a smile.  Since my family already seems irritated with my cloning questions, I wouldn’t even want to ask them what they would call my clone and me, mainly because they can be mean when they are irritated. I can just hear the answers, Thing 1 and Thing 2, Dumb and Dumber, Laurie and her Maxi Me, Bigmouth and Bigfoot, Wacky and Whacko, Laverne and Shirley, or Fossil and Hoary.  Take it from me those would have been some of the answers and they would have been laughing and high fiving each other the entire time as they were rattling the names off. I know these people.

 

Which brings me to my dogs, Fudge and Vern.  Would I clone them?  I still have to think the answer would be no, but then again who knows what lies ahead in the future with all the technological and scientific advancements happening all the time. Maybe my answer will change as they get older and I am faced with their loss.  I would hate to be like my mother someday complaining about all the newfangled things out there and still longing for her old Selectric Typewriter.  I just hope if cloning people does happen, I am still around to volunteer myself, so that Fossil and Hoary can tag team the people in my life and force them to finally listen to the sage advice I have been doling out for years.  I figure they don’t stand a chance against the two of us.

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

Laugh out loud funny.  Thanks!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Brilliant Karen, you may be right.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

F, I think if you include all the money the original has made through films, etc, Ol' Blue Eyes would still be right, lol. 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Hmmm, Karen. I wonder if that holds for the new Titanic. What a crazy idea, I think.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Goodness, how did I almost miss this? Computer troubles! 

Laurie, some things just cannot be duplicated. The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. The Mona Lisa. You.

As Frank Sinatra once said "No copy of anything, no matter how good, ever sold for as high as the original.

:-)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, This is a whole new side of you I have never seen...you obviously have a problem with big feet :) LOL No one is cramming my feet into smaller shoes :)

Thanks, Janie!! She probably has an orange bikini, too.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Oh no this has taken quite a turn! lol and yes, my trainer is a beauty! : )

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Well than maybe we can implement the Chinese way and shove those feet into smaller shoes when you are still young, making them tiny and conform them into a size 9. LOL

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, Just remember, my clone and I do not cook :) As to the feet, a clone would be an exact replica of me, feet and all. LOL OMD...I almost forgot that you work. You haven't mentioned it in the last 24 hours :) My family might actually like to ship the real Laurie to you for the holidays. I do love that Christmas card. Maybe the next Doodle card exchange. LOL

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Oh, and PS I really think you should use that fantastic photo Donna made you for next years Christmas card somehow, we can mail it from my house.