Advice please on adding a 2nd at this stage of our lives..

[Chelsea and Bailey]

Hey everyone!

 

So we (mostly I) have been thinking about adding a second dood or mini/med size pup to our family, preferebly around spring or so of 2012.

 

This is our situation:

-I am 22 my DH is 26, we have been together over 4 years already, lived together a year.  DH works as a marketing manager, and I as a Registered Nurse (1 year workversary this December!)- so we both hold steady, well paying jobs.  My age seems young on paper, but I have always been an old soul....

 

-We have started a "timeline" of the approximate time we would like to have kids... Probably in 2-3 years, I would like to be 25ish with the first.

 

-We own a house, its small, 865sq ft, with a full basement (which we are reno'ing at the moment) There are always things to do in it, we just built a new deck, putting new electrical in the basement, new shingles, we needa new fence in the new year... the list goes on.  It was a starter house that we planned on upgrading, making some $, then moving out in 5 year time frame. Year 1 just passed!

 

-We like to travel at least once a year, going somewhere nice, we did Europe for 5 weeks 2 summers ago, others are more like 1 or 2 weeks a year..

 

-DH family has just accepted Bailey (took a year), his sisters kids are terrified of dogs and will not come anywhere near our house with her in.  So this adds to the pressure of him not wanting another, as he thinks his family adjusted to one and will not adjust to another.  The odd time if I am working a 12hr shift and DH is busy we will ask them to stop by for 30min-hr to let her out, his mom used to be terrified of dogs and now loves B. My family lives at the lake on weekends, but are willing to take her if needed, we have only ever asked them once to take her for a weekend when we had a wedding to go to. They loved her, but said she was lots of work.

 

-Bailey was a year old last weekend! We got her last December a week before Christmas.  She is the best dog, our families rave about her personality, calmness and love she gives to people. She is good with kids, loves other dogs of all sizes.  She is 100% reliable with toileting at our house or elsewhere. She is obedient 90% of the time, and we work with her. If we dont have time to do a long walk we have park directly behind our bay that we take her too and play fetch, or we go to the city dog park. She is still a puppy, we know that, but already at a year old she is very calm, during the days when I am home during the week she plays with her toys or lays at my feet, when she wants attention she steals a sock, LOL. She was supposed to be 40-50Ib and is now 62Ibs! So needless to say she has grown much larger then expected (she is also very tall).

 

So the reason I gave all this background information is because I want some honest opinions on whether or not having two dogs is ok at this point in our lives.  I read and read and read about people adding a second dog and loving it. However, most seem to either have older kids, or are empty nesters, I would love to hear from those who are or were in my situation that decided to get a 2nd pup. DH thinks it is a bad idea, he is not wanting it.  I am throwing a stink because my whole life I grew up without a dog, and my dream was when I moved out and started my own life I would own 2 dogs. DH NEVER wanted a dog, he was scared like his family, I convinced him and he is in love with B and agress it was the best decision, but now he is skeptical, he thinks we are busy and wants to wait to have kids then get a puppy, "because it will be fun for them", I dont think he realizes the work with that comment. I think we will always be busy in life, and I think adding the second dog before starting kids is a better idea. I remember those puppy days and they take a loooooot of work, which I dont think I could handle with little ones....

 

Anyways! I could go on and on with all my thoughts! Im sorry for the looong post! I have weighed the pros and cons for a couple months now, obviously I think the pros outweigh the cons, whereas DH can only see the cons.... SO, DK friends, please give me some insight!? Good or bad?

 

 

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

I agree with Adina, if you are planning to have kids you would probably want the second dog trained and reliable by then. If not, it would be a good idea to wait until the kids are old enough to be safe around the puppy. Sorry not much help. Dh didn't want a second dog and I love her to death but she really did change Chloe a lot. Myla came in and dominated over Chloe and we actually feel bad for Chloe sometimes. We just wanted a companion for her when we are gone. So you never knowe what you are going to get...my advice is to realize that you will probably won't get an exact replica of yuor doodle now. Same breed totally different dogs for us!! Good luck with your decision. You do have a lot going on right now.

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

Chiming in here - slightly older - DH and I are 30 and 31 (well I am the big 3-0 in 2 weeks from today!).  We have a chihuahua who is approaching 8 yo and our dood will be 3 in April.  She is still a little nutty and there is no way I would get another one at this point in our lives - don't get me wrong, LOVE HER, but it I think doodles are hard dogs.  We will hopefully have kids in the next 1-2 years and I couldn't imagine having two doodles running around.  So, I think you should wait until the kiddos have settled in and can manage the humans first.  Just my opinion.  Two dogs are hard - and I only have a lap dog and a small doodle!  (24 pounds). 

[Jennifer Tramell]

I was in your position many years ago and I have a couple insights.  First, make sure you and DH are 100% for a new puppy.  We had 1 dog - the best dog in the world, beautiful, smart, obedient, almost perfect.  I was always rescuing puppies and finding new homes for them so we frequently had a puppy in the house.  One night I found 2 little pups in the middle of the road, 1 found a new home, the other stayed with us.  My DH always called Dixie (the rescued dog) "your dog", I never found a home for her and always felt guilty about her.  There was always this knot in my gut about keeping Dixie, like I tricked my DH into something.  (This was self-imposed, DH treated Dixie with the same care that he gave Cody.)  It just took some joy from having Dixie - I never knew how much DH loved her until she was 8 yrs old and I lived under a cloud of guilt.

Don't assume that a 2nd goldendoodle puppy will be another Bailey.  Will it be okay if your 2nd dog is silly, slightly hyper, not eager to please, inattentive, destructive, and unsocial?  We are on dogs 3&4 and NO dog has lived up to our perfect Cody dog. 

2 dogs take up more than twice the space, more than twice the work, more than twice the mess.  Don't ask me how, but they do - especially if dog #1 is calm and dog #2 is active.

We always travelled with Cody & he was always welcome.  Dixie was not our perfect Cody and she was less welcome.  When the dogs stayed at my parents house (who are dog people), Cody was the perfect guest while Dixie was high maintanence (she chewed a few doors just to start).  I always felt worried when I left Dixie with anyone.

If it were me, I would enjoy Bailey and wait for a 2nd dog.  We had Cody for 5 years before Dixie, that was perfect for us.  I did, however, foster many abandoned puppies so I had my "puppy-fix".   Whatever you choose, I'm sure you'll make a wise decision. 

[Chelsea and Bailey]

Thank you all for the great advice! Last night we had a long talk about it, we weighed the pros and cons together and cam to a decision together! We decided that next fall we will re-evaluate our situation.  We will most likely be done with the major renovations on the house and that way we will be able to really train B to the best of our potential. Fix any bad puppy behaviours!

 

After all the begging and fighting with DH, he is actually excited with our plan and is already thinking of different names for the next little one.  I gave him a couple old posts about adding a second dog from DK and he was looking through others names and trying to steal them! LOL.  All in all I think adding a second is the right decision for us. We really have taken this step seriously and I think we understand to the best of our potential (before the dog is actually with us) all the work that is involved. Like what was said previously, I anticipate it to be HARD, but I think (i hope) the rewards will remind us why we chose to make our lives more difficult!

[Jennifer Tramell]

This sounds like a great decision!  Of course, watch out because you never know when some doodle is at a local shelter and, next thing you know, the "foster" becomes a "forever". Lol - speaking from experience!

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I also think that's a great decision.  You might also have a better idea about kids at that time too. I remember saying "oh I will have 2 kids by the time I am 30".  Guess what?  30 in 2 weeks; 0 human kids; 2 canine kids :)

 

Keep us posted!