Any tips for a building confidence in my shy girl?

[HeatherA]

Some history - Veruca, our older F1b, the breeder recommended because she's more submissive naturally. I'm not a very experienced trainer so she suggested a dog that showed signs of being less willful.  She's easily trained, gentle and loving.. eager to please.  When we went to look for puppies we looked for the same personality traits.  We weren't woo'ed by the puppy that comes bounding up first, barking and jumping up.  Violet was the sweet little girl that was content to just sit next to my son and snuggle.  She wasn't the most timid in the litter, she would come to you if you made noises and got her attention (she came to check me out and get some loving.)  She had a sister that wouldn't do that.. so she was somewhere in between the two sisters not the most aggressive, not the most timid.

At home the girls wrestle and play, climb over each other, growl and steal each others toys playfully.  When my Moms new adoption came to my house - Violet bounded around and playfully tussled with her.  Even when my Moms dog stiffened and didn't return the playfulness Violet was not deterred.  She bounded around and tried to get some play.  Violet is just over 3 months.  She's obviously very comfortable and confident in her own environment.  You would NEVER call this girl timid at home.

Now... at obedience class is a completely different story.  There are about 8 dogs of various ages.  Violet sits next to the wall and just watches. The trainer says she's terrified.  I don't think I agree?  She doesn't have her tail between her legs, she isn't cowering, she's not shaking, she doesn't show her stomach, she doesn't pee, bark or growl.  I would say she is cautious and unsure of what to think, as a Mom ;)  She sits back and watches.. and even with high reward treats she only barely participates.  (she has to be lured out and then will sit on command)

At home, I rarely see this cautious behavior.  The closest thing I see is when my neighbor has his VERY large and aggressive dogs outside that bark like they want to tear you apart, she doesn't want to go in the yard.  (These dogs are so nasty, threatening and uncontrolled we put RAILROAD ties along the fence to make sure they didn't bite our kids under the fence or come through to our yard.)  I've had to walk her into the far opposite corner away from the threatening dogs.

Some additional factors::: My husband believes part of the problem is that she is not used to a leash yet, and she doesn't like car rides yet.  So for our part we're having her wear a leash and drag it around to get comfortable with it.  Another part of the issue is that she intimidated by him - which is why he's taking her.  Both dogs and my mothers dog are intimidated by him so he's trying to learn how to make his body language more dog-friendly.

Next week I am hoping to go with them (have to arrange a sitter for the kids so we can both go).. but I wanted to tap the wealth of advice and see how others have handled this?  Any one else have a naturally shy Doodle?  How do you build confidence and address the shyness?

[HeatherA]

Yes, I wouldn't quit the class - at the very least this is giving her some socialization and my husband is getting some ideas. You know how it can be with spouses -- YOU can say something 10x's and be blue in the face, someone ELSE says it and they act like it's an amazing revelation. *face palm*

[Adina P]

Yuuuup! ;)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

The "shyness" at obedience class may just be because she's with your husband, and you're not there. It will be interesting to see if you see a change next week when you're there with them. In Murphy's Beginner class there was a husband and wife team who rotated coming to the sessions. The dog always was more relaxed and did much better when the Mom brought him. You could see that there was a solid bond between them that seemed to translate to better obedience results. When the Dad brought the dog, the performance was very inconsistent. There could be a lot of reasons for this, and I don't know the family well enough to even speculate, but who was doing the training certainly made a huge difference. Let us know how it goes next week, and I wouldn't worry too much. She seems happy and well adjusted, and as Adina said good, consistent training does build confidence.

[HeatherA]

Yes, I had hoped my husband doing the class with her would help him and her... and like I mentioned he naturally turns dogs off. My Moms dog even snapped at him when he reached for her. He's a big gentle guy, never raises his voice... but dogs don't react well to him! It's funny, my dogs adore me and I yell a lot... I raise my voice to my kids and have a temper like a bear. He's much more even kilter then I am.

I'm trying to arrange baby sitting for all three kids so I can go, because I think it would help to be there. Maybe, if nothing else, to reduce the amount of stressors? I'm the one home all day with the girls, so naturally they are used to me a little more.

I'll let you know if that helps next week :)

[Adina P]

I disagree. I think that the work involved in your husband learning how to do what it takes to help Violet do what it takes will yield much better results than if you are there. I imagine Violet might just want to go hang out with your if you go and then her attention on your hubby will be reduced. If he's gonna be the one attending class and doing the bulk of the training...I think he needs to go alone. But I also believe in a one dog per trainer philosophy. As humans we are SOOO good at being inconsistent on our own...if two people are trying to train the same dog...the inconsistencies multiply exponentially.

In my opinion, training a dog well requires a huge commitment and focus. Is your husband really into the idea of training her or is he just the parent that attends class? I think if he is really into the idea then he can really do amazing things in his relationship with her. But if you're the one that's truly into the training thing...and he's doing it 'in hopes' of just attending class and practicing a few tricks here and there...he won't get near the results he was hoping for.

[HeatherA]

I will do majority of the training, realistically. We are both not very experienced with training.

He's learning the basics so that he can use commands correctly and frankly not "confuse" the dogs. So we're both on the same page. I found it was frustrating to work with the dogs and then have him use 8 different words to mean, for instance, "Get off the couch"... down, off, no, etc. So a he's doing her puppy basics as an introduction to understanding the importance of consistency, presentation, etc.

For whatever reason he intimidates dogs. So he's going to learn a bit in general about dogs, presenting yourself around dogs and giving commands.

I will be a happy dog owner to have two dogs that come when called, sit, stay and greet people politely. Anything after that is gravy. Baby steps.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

If you are able to go next week, you'll probably get a much better sense of what's going on with Violet during these sessions. You're the one who is with her most of the time, and you know her signals pretty well by now. It just might provide an extra insight. I give you and your husband so much credit for being so involved in training your puppy at this stage of your pregnancy...and with three more children. I think that's wonderful...good luck and keep us posted.

[Adina P]

Ditto!  You DO deserve lots of kudos for working hard on this while preggers and with kids.  You are awesome!

[HeatherA]

Thank you both ladies! But it was something we committed to before getting Violet - both girls really are a joy to own. It's very rewarding for me to work with them and see the results relatively quickly (though I know consistency takes much longer, these dogs are so smart .. blows me away how fast it starts to click).

It's really a selfish investment -- the more we put into them the more we ENJOY them. :) I really want to enjoy the most out of the relationship with our girls, and to do that they need at least basic manners and training.. I would be over the moon if they were able to reach CGC, and would like to go beyond that.

Thank you both for the feedback and advice. I will see what happens next week.. and I do plan on bringing a fold out chair. LOL. 8 months pregnant I am not standing there for an hour.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Ha Ha....with MY last pregnancy (many years ago), I would have needed two folding chairs at the end!

[HeatherA]

I'm tall with a long torso and my babies hide. I thicken in the middle but most people would never guess I am pregnant and certainly not as far along as I am. My doctor said some women their bodys grow out, others they seem to go up into the torso. I am the latter. I've seen women 5-6 months along that "look more pregnant" then I do. Sometimes I will ask when they are due and they always raise their eyebrows when I tell them my due date. I've always been envious of the women with the pretty round baby bellys :)

When I was pregnant with our third, our daughter had to be flown to Houston to see a specialist for a rare tumor on her leg.(Long story short!) My husband couldn't go because of work, so he stayed home with our oldest and I went. I was about 8 months along and having a lot of issues with high blood pressure - so in the airport I asked for a ride to the gate. I kid you not this lady looked at me like I was just heavy and lazy and did NOT believe me when I told her I was pregnant.

We have those nice, wide fold out chairs that you keep in a cloth bag. Great for watching soccer games, fireworks, etc. I plan on grabbing one so I am nice and comfy. :)

[Ginny Nightingale]

I have been reading all these posts with interest, because I had a trainer that used the same methods, but she really worked hard with the dogs that were shy. She is an "old Hat" at training and didn't just let a dog be terrified. She didn't push them, but she would try different things until something worked.
We did have one dog in one of the classes i took that was an exception. He was a retired and rescued greyhound and that dog did absolutely nothing--but she had the owner reward him for whatever he was doing--standing, sitting, although I think he almost always stood, walking alongside the owner--anything was rewarded. The purpose was to build his confidence since there was almost no way he was going to start obeying commands.
I guess what I am thinking is what you referred to as baby steps. Reward any little thing that resembles participation, no matter how small until she comes out of her shell a bit. By the way, liverwurst is a great high value treat, as is bacon!
And congrats on the 4th baby--you two are so brave--4 kids and 2 dogs-yikes!