Difficulty establishing myself as Alpha

[Badgley "Monster" Kopel]

I seem to have a problem establishing myself as an Alpha with our 5 month old puppy. It's really frustrating for me because I simply don't know what I'm doing wrong. Initially my husband and I decided to take the "reward" approach in training her, just positively reinforce the good behavior. Anytime she stepped out of line we would say "aah aah" and ignore her, or put her in time out if she's was being very bad and difficult to control. It worked for the most part but she was still biting us here and there, barking at dogs and people, and kind of doing whatever she wanted. We didn't think we had an alpha issue, but more of the fact that she's a puppy. Well, we went away for the weekend and left her with a good friend of ours that has a 1 1/2 year old doodle. When we came back it was like he worked magic on her. She was the calmest version of herself we had ever seen. No biting, no barking, the perfect dog.. He had mentioned that she did try to bite and misbehave a couple times and that when she did he flipped her on her back, gave her a quick and stern no, and then continued on. After that, all was well. WOW!! Well, the perfect dog lasted about a day before she started to revert to her old habits. We decided to try what he did and it worked for the most part with my husband but not at all with me. I try to be as stern as I can, with the strongest intention possible. I say it in a really deep voice. I'm quick. If that doesn't work, I hold her longer..  And NOTHING! I flip her, she goes back at me, I flip her again, she goes back at me. We go back and forth and back and forth until I finally put her in time out. I don't know what to do! She is obviously capable of being an amazing dog as long as she doesn't view her self as pack leader, I just don't know why she won't take me seriously. HELP! Any one out there with advice, please chime in! 

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Several things that will help her understand you care, protect and provide for her. In no particular order:

Keep lots of toys strewn around the house for play and to substitute for your hand.  Work on developing a signal for playtime - Are you ready? Let's play are verbal ideas but your "play posture" and expression will be easier for her to recognize at first.  Plays can be brief - 2 or 3 minutes, but frequent so that she learns both when to play and when to stop and play with or chew on a toy in your sight but without your joining in.  Play is it's own reward - no treats.

Work frequently for brief times everyday on sit, down, stay (not come - too easy for her to get mixed up with stay until she wants to not stay.  Sometimes she gets a small treat, sometimes she gets praise - good girl and an ear rub.

At least a couple of times a day when she is quiet (not asleep) give her belly rubs, eventually she will ask for them by

rolling onto her back or raising her hind leg to show her belly. 

She must earn every treat.  Feed her by hand sitting beside her one meal a day a bit at a time for a couple of weeks

Be careful to praise calm, even if you have to wait quite awhile for it.  This is where sit, stay or down stay helps,  when she is full of feistiness put her in a sit stay or down stay and wait for calm before treat and praise.  Just silently return her to the stay and wait.

At five months I always have had my puppies still on a long light rope in the house, so that they were always easily under my control and no further from me than 15 feet

Raising a puppy takes two to three years and lots of patience.  It will not be all forward progress.  Mostly it will be fun, but sometimes frustrating.  Use her crate, when you need some space - don't worry so much about alpha, if you provide food, care, protection and structure she will figure it out.

[Jen W]

I suggest reading The Dog Listener.  It will help you imitate alpha dog behaviors from the wild so that she sees you as the pack leader (you eat first, you walk out the door first, you don't greet her immediately upon returning home, etc.)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

This always makes me laugh. It must work for some, but not me. How in the heck do you walk out of the door first when you have to hold the door for the dog so it doesn't slam on them?

I gave up on this concept years ago.  I just stick to the ten basic commands and work on those constantly.   

I just got so confused at the door. LOL

[Jennifer Tramell]

My solution to the door quandary is that I don't let my dogs go through the door without my permission.........that's my story and I'm sticking to it ;-)

[Lynda Kamrath]

Yep, that was confusing for us also, Joanne.  But, it is the "sit", "stay", and then "come" orders when you leave the house (or come back into the house).  They need their invitation to cross the doorjamb.  Our visitor always waits for his invitation to come in or go out and he is the best dog ever.  I walk the dogs one at a time because it is too hard for me to handle two (or three) dogs on a leash.  However, when it is their turn, they sometimes are pulling on the leash and wanting to explore.  I have started to use the pronged collar and give a quick correction if they start to pull, but it is best to just not allow them in front of the seam on your left pant leg.  If they pull out in front, stop, pull them to a sit position, and wait.  When you are ready give them the signal to start walking again.  Works great with stopping to talk with neighbors.  We are still working on it.

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

I agree the door is tricky, especially since the door we use is at the head of the steps from the garage with no landing.  

I absolutely insist on a "sit" before Quincy is allowed out of the car, before we start our walks, before eating and some type of display (sit pretty, speak, etc,) before a treat.  Seems to work for us.  

[Wendy and Myla]

Me too!  I ask for a kiss after a "sit" and before a treat and always get one (though if she knows it's a high value treat it's a very quick kiss lol).  DH asks for a kiss but she nuzzles his ear instead!  LOL

[Robin and Libby Louise]

LOL, me too!

[Anne & Mr. Haley]

I never was able to coodinate the door thing especially with a storm door plus regular door. : ) Haley still knows who pack leader is and it's not my DH. lol

[Amber]

The book "The Art of Raising a Puppy" also has some great information about showing you are in charge. They follow the ways that a pack would in the wild.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Five months is a perfect time to start some serious obedience training, which I believe is the basis for teaching your puppy how you want him to behave.  Then it's up to you to practice and consistently execute the training plan.  I really think just rolling a puppy on his back and sternly saying "no" is not going to give you what you want in the long run.  Yes you want your puppy to respect you as his leader, but there's more to earning that than just giving this type of correction IMO.  There are some puppy training videos on YouTube that I particularly like.....search under Alyspuppybootcamp.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

So many good videos out there. I do follow, All Dogs Go To Kevin, but the videos Jane speaks of are GREAT!   Have fun learning.