Difficulty establishing myself as Alpha

[Badgley "Monster" Kopel]

I seem to have a problem establishing myself as an Alpha with our 5 month old puppy. It's really frustrating for me because I simply don't know what I'm doing wrong. Initially my husband and I decided to take the "reward" approach in training her, just positively reinforce the good behavior. Anytime she stepped out of line we would say "aah aah" and ignore her, or put her in time out if she's was being very bad and difficult to control. It worked for the most part but she was still biting us here and there, barking at dogs and people, and kind of doing whatever she wanted. We didn't think we had an alpha issue, but more of the fact that she's a puppy. Well, we went away for the weekend and left her with a good friend of ours that has a 1 1/2 year old doodle. When we came back it was like he worked magic on her. She was the calmest version of herself we had ever seen. No biting, no barking, the perfect dog.. He had mentioned that she did try to bite and misbehave a couple times and that when she did he flipped her on her back, gave her a quick and stern no, and then continued on. After that, all was well. WOW!! Well, the perfect dog lasted about a day before she started to revert to her old habits. We decided to try what he did and it worked for the most part with my husband but not at all with me. I try to be as stern as I can, with the strongest intention possible. I say it in a really deep voice. I'm quick. If that doesn't work, I hold her longer..  And NOTHING! I flip her, she goes back at me, I flip her again, she goes back at me. We go back and forth and back and forth until I finally put her in time out. I don't know what to do! She is obviously capable of being an amazing dog as long as she doesn't view her self as pack leader, I just don't know why she won't take me seriously. HELP! Any one out there with advice, please chime in! 

[Adina P]

I agree.  Start serious obedience training. You'll earn your status and he'll learn to obey ;-)  Just be sure that you think of obedience as a daily investment from which you'll reap rewards in a year or two (not next month, though it will get better each month).

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Alpha :(  

 What you have is a puppy.  I think your first idea of rewarding was your best idea.    You will have this puppy behavior for many more months to come. Please stay patient like you were doing.   Rolling a dog might have worked ONCE.  It worked on TV, right.    Good for the dog sitter but I am truly so sick of hearing the Alpha word when most just take the definition but do not understand the concept.   People try this with typical puppy behavior. Honestly, you cant change much about a energetic puppy.  Your best bet is exercise, then do 15 minute training with rewards afterwards. An exercised dog is much easier to train.

 Sorry, just really frustrated with the misunderstanding of Alpha.    CALM, POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT will build strong bonds. Isn't that why you got a dog in the first place?  You want a loving, calm, dog and it will come with time.

May I suggest finding an Obedience Class ( no not puppy class).  Truly, YOU and your dog will love this bonding experience and learn a life-time of training skills.   

Try to work for your CGC  -  Canine Good Citizen Certificate.  When you call about training, ask if the facility offers the CGC.

Rolling a dog teaches nothing but fear. What you want to establish are basic commands such as:  Sit, Stay, leave it, drop it,stop, etc.  Teach the dog how you want it to behave. Many of us teach our dogs to roll  but not for that reason  LOL  Rolling teaches nothing.  I would try, in this case, to put your puppy in a sit, for example. Redirect the dog into something else.   Change the scene so to speak.  Teach the behaviors you want!  

 Hope this helps.  I really think you will do just fine if you find a Obedience Program to enroll in and work towards you CGC

Your dog wants to know what you want.  He bites because that is how puppies play  :)     He wants to know what you want. So, you need to learn how to teach him. 

Honestly, WE HAVE ALL been here.   We all had to learn and go to training.  You will have a nice dog soon and you will love your classes

Think Family, not Pack  :)

[Gail+Kathleen,(Sydney+Olivia:)]

It's simple......Doodles are incredibly SMART!  And it's a personality thing (ours and our Doodles!).  When we first brought Sydney home, one of my Dog friends said to me, "Sydney has your number".  I was a bit insulted since I read all the Dog training books I could get my hands on and thought I was doing such a good job training her.  BUT HE WAS RIGHT!  She was smarter than me.

It took me many years to establish myself as the alpha (yep!).  I think our second Doodle Olivia helped us out with that.  Olivia who looks timid and shy puts Sydney in her place most times.  She actually helps me corral Sydney up if Sydney tries to run away from me (ear cleaning time!).

Sydney is now 9 years old and is no longer the alpha in the house.  She is number four.  And she listens and responds to my commands much better than Olivia.

Hopefully it won't take you as long as it took me, but then again I am a real softee!

[Jennifer Tramell]

I think your "perfect" dog may have been the result of her being around an older dog more so than the magic flip.  I've noticed that when a dog hangs out with other dogs, they often adopt those behaviors.  We've had several people bring their young dogs/puppies over our house for dog-sitting.  One pup was supposedly aggressive and dominant (according to the overly compliant wife not the sensible husband), one dog was hyper, another was too wound up around kids.  Once they hung out in our "pack", they just accepted a submissive position in the family and copied many of our dogs behaviors.  The aggressive/dominant pup showed no signs of aggression toward our dogs, kids, adults, food or toys.  The other pups learned that they got attention from being calm because they saw how the other dogs would sit and wait at the door, wait for petting, not jump, etc.  We didn't "flip" or train them, just treated with the same expectations as our dogs.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

I totally agree with Jennifer's assessment of the situation at the "sitter".

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Besides what I said in my long.. long response above, I think  her behavior was...

She played all weekend, had a lot of great exercise, and was tired = Good Dog

A tired dog, is a good dog. Exercise for a puppy is essential with behavior

When Spud  was 5 months, he was exercised on the hour.  Each hour, we went out and played 10 minutes of Frisbee.  Puppyhood is hard.  Good exercise and positive training is the key.   

Flipping a dog cant compare to  getting that energy out plus it is a lot happier with better, long-term results

[Lynda Kamrath]

And she may be thinking that flipping her is a method of play.  She thinks you are initiating play.  Yes, I think exercise works much better.  Sunday we were at the beach and the dogs were all playing full force the the whole time.  Then it was baths for everyone.  Afterwards, you never saw better behaved dogs because they were exhausted (so were we).  Remember that these dogs are extremely energetic and take them out frequently for exercise.  Walks need to controlled, but play time is not.  Be sure to have enough play time in their schedule.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

All good suggestions and insight.  I think a lot of being 'in charge' is attitude.  Your husband and your friend may have more authoritative attitudes in everyday life while perhaps you are more of a 'soft touch' and less assertive (like I am).  If this is so, then the more you train with your pup, the more confidence you will develop and the more respectful of your authority the pup will learn. It is early here and I think this is full of grammar errors, but you get the idea. :-}  My son has grown up around dogs and dog sat a lot but he now has his  own first dog, a pup of 5 months, and I am amazed at how well he is doing with his puppy (biting, jumping etc) behaviors. He asked advice the first few weeks, but then, it is like he just knows how to deal with the pup and the pup looks to him for guidance. I think a lot of it has to do with my son's quiet, calm demeanor and the fact that he doesn't care much about whether  'stuff' might get ruined other than to keep the dog safe.  The pup also has the guidance of other dogs where he lives and at ours when he visits.

[Julie and Max]

I agree with Nancy it's attitude when training your dog. I found the other end of the leash really helpful. Once I started to watch what I was doing, my body language the tone of my voice, was I tense, excited or calm, training became so much easier. Exercise is so important and once they have a place for all that puppy energy to go practicing calm both with yourself and the dog makes a big difference. I like to think calm assertive rather than alpha, and I don't think the alpha roll is very good long term. In the beginning I tried that on Max, and all it did was get him more excited, I'm pretty sure he thought I was playing. I find training Max is easy, training myself is harder. Am I being consistent? Am I being calm? What is my body language telling my dog? What about the tone of my voice?

I also trained Max to sit/stay at the door and only come out when I give his release command.

I also do a sit/stay with feeding, and he eats when I release. I still hand feed him some of his food every other day or so.

Good luck with your training whatever method you decide on. :) 

[Becka]

Julie, I really like the way you said this: "I find training Max is easy, training myself is harder"! It is hard to be consistent when we're working with our dogs but so important--it can be easy to forget all those variables that you mention. There are many styles of training, and many of them work, but with any method it's so important to stay consistent, and be patient.

[Julie and Max]

Thanks Becka, and I forgot to mention being patient, so so much of that! I agree there are many styles, and many work, I actually use a variety of different training styles not sticking to one, just being consistent when I feel that it's the thing that will work with me, and so far so good. Oh we still have our moments, and I am still learning and feel I always will be learning with him, but that's one of the great things about having a dog. 

[Mireille Renaud]

The Alpha roll never really worked for our pup. We use reward based training with him too, doing our best to stay away from leash corrections and the like. Here's a few tips that worked for us:

 

- biting: Our pup bit both my husband and I just ONCE each and never did it again - because the minute we felt his teeth touch our skin, we let out this high pitched yelp ("AAAH!") and withdrew our hand, holding it close to our body and using body language that told him - "You hurt me." He's never tried to bite anyone.

 

- feeding: first of all, we don't free feed. He's been on regular scheduled meals since we got him - at first 3 meals a day, and since about 4 months, 2 meals a day. Before he gets to eat, he needs to sit and stay and watch us fill his bowl. It's a great way to teach them "stay" too. He's only allowed to eat when we say - "OK, eat!!" It took a few days to teach him, but now we could make him wait for as long as we want. This way they learn you, the Alpha, control the food!

 

- NO SLEEPING IN THE BED. Some people will say that it's actually not that big of a deal, and maybe they're right. We crate trained our pup for the first 2 months, mostly for accidents - but also, because in a "pack" (there is controversy as to whether or not domesticated dogs still view themselves as members of packs, but whatever) - the Alpha sleeps in the most comfortable place, and the other members of the pack sleep elsewhere. Our dog doesn't sleep in a crate anymore, he's 7 months; but he always sleeps on the ground. We have eased up on being so anal about him not being up on the bed at all, because now he understands. It's pretty amazing - if he's on our bed, when we get in it, he jumps off and goes to sleep on his dog bed. He just knows.

 

- General obedience training: taking your pup to a puppy or obedience class is a great way not only to socialize her, but also to bond with her and to learn how to show her what you want her to do. Our experience with our puppy, who started puppy school at 3.5 months, was that he was pretty scared at first and looked to us for comfort and protection. He quickly learned that we were there as his leaders to "protect" him from whatever he found to be threatening, and in no time, he started engaging other dogs in play. We learned exercises to do with him at home, and have continued to train him at home and in more advanced classes, and he clearly understands that we are the ones he is to look to for guidance when he's in stressful situations. And this is more than just useful to teach him his rank in the pack - he's becoming (it's a work in progress!) a lot easier to walk now because we are able to get his attention when we see something that might make him bark in excitement (another dog, a child, etc.). It's just all over a great way to bond with your dog.

 

Good luck!