Do You Have An Arch-Nemesis?? Fudge and Vern, Or Should I Say Laurie, Have Two!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have had it with two creatures that share this earth with us. We walk everyday up at our nearby State Park and I have never killed (on purpose) an animal, but I am about to start packing (think Jane) like Elmer Fudd and start taking matters into my own hands. 

I am just not sure I can operate a weapon, hold poop bags, control two large dogs, and hit my target.  What has got my dander up?  Well, I will tell you! 

First of all, that park is loaded with geese and the main reason they seem to exist is to generate enough poop on the sidewalk, in the grass, and on any stationary object, that it forces humans to become nimble on their feet and hones our dog training techniques.  I am starting to wonder if every morning the head goose stands around and passes out Ex-Lax to make sure they have a very productive day.  We have all heard of a fleet of geese, and there is even a laxative called Fleet and if I worked in Marketing at the Fleet company, I would suggest their slogan be, "Makes you poop like a goose!" 

Possibly, the solution is to find the pill dispensing goose and either hand it a supply of poop bags or convince the goose that distributing Imodium capsules would allow her to live a longer life.

Yesterday, I was screaming, "Leave It!" so loudly at Fudge and Vern that I think I saw an old lady drop her purse. Our entire walk consists of me on high alert for evidence that some goose with an overactive digestive system has walked this path before and then convincing my dogs that leaving gross stuff alone would be in their best interest. I can tell you I see no let up with these goose pie dropping beasts because they are multiplying by the dozens.  Sure, the babies are cute, but it is just a matter of time before they get bigger and say to themselves, "this is as good as place as any," when the urge strikes and we all know that is somewhere on a sidewalk. 

Next up, we have the groundhog, or as I like to call them, the moving rodent from hell. This little guy serves one purpose and that is to come out once a year, either see his shadow or not, and predict the weather. 

The rest of the time he is digging holes big enough to swallow a human whole, or running from hole to hole while you are walking your dogs and trying to engage them in a game of Red Rover, Red Rover, Send Fudge and Vern Over.  He has no regard to the human attached to the other end of their leashes.  I am all for working with distractions, but fifty mounds of goose poop and fourteen groundhogs running willy-nilly would tax even Victoria Stillwell or Mother Teresa, especially since I strongly believe in another life, Fudge and Vern were hunting dogs.

So, I ask you, can anyone come up with one good reason why I shouldn't start carrying a rifle and put these creatures out of MY misery?  I will consider all suggestions, but don't bother bringing up the fact that I don't know how to shoot, have never hunted, and am prone to nervous tics.  I need valid reasons only.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Never knew that last fact, wonder why?

[Pat and Traveler]

Uhhhhh....you're wondering why you didn't know needlefish have green bones???  I'm wondering why I'm apparently eternally stuck with this info...:)

[F, Calla & Luca]

No, it sounded like that : ) I'm wondering why the have green bones.

[Pat and Traveler]

Oh.  Okay.  It's probably best that I don't know.  I'd remember that instead of where I put my glasses.  :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

So far I can't find a reason why but surely somewhere on the net the answer must exist. I did read conflicting information on whether the bones turn white or more green on cooking.

[Pat and Traveler]

I should have known you couldn't let that one rest.  :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

It's hard for me to let things rest : )

[F, Calla & Luca]

OK. My faith in the internet is restored, whew.

"Garfish are pelagic. They feed on small fish and leap out of the water when hooked. The garfish are oviparous and the eggs are often found attached to objects in the water by tendrils on the egg's surface. Garfish have unusually green bones (due to biliverdin) which discourages many people from eating them, but the green color is harmless. "

Biliverdin

[Pat and Traveler]

"Biliverdin results from the breakdown of the heme moiety of hemoglobin in erythrocytes. Macrophages break down senescent erythrocytes and break the heme down into biliverdin, which normally rapidly reduces to free bilirubin.^[1][3] Biliverdin is seen briefly in some bruises as a green color. Its breakdown into bilirubin in bruises, leads to a yellowish color."

F, thanks SO much!  :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

I hope you can still find your glasses : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

What is going on with you two? LOL  What does this have to do with geese or gophers? OMD...you guys are jeniuses...LOL!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Not a lot to do with gophers or geese but Pat started it : ) And since when do we stay on topic?