Does Your Doodle Follow You About the House?

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Tara is the first dog that I have had that does not follow me when I move about the house. She will just stay in the living area sleeping or chewing her bullystick. I think she keeps track of me with her hearing though because once in a while if I am doing something "different" she will show up to check things out.

This in a way makes me feel unloved by her!  Why doesn't she WANT to be with me every moment and shower me with adoration like my other dogs did in the past? Sometimes I see posts like this in regard to rescue dogs (Goofy in this case!) and I wonder why those dogs love complete strangers more than my own dog loves me:

"He is a total love....Wants to be near us at all times and will sit in your lap if you let him....Puts that big paw on you when he wants attention and wants to be as close to your face as possible when he is being loved on.."

Recently the issue of our doodles touching us and always needing to be near us has been raised in the training group. Now I am beginning to see Tara's behavior in a different light and wonder if what she does is actually a sign of her being "balanced". That it may just be "normal" dog behavior. I'm not sure.

Tara likes to snuggle and sit on my lap but it is almost always at my instigation.  Once in a while she will ask to get up on a chair or the couch with me. So it's not like she is a cold fish or anything. We get our loves in but it is mainly the fact that she doesn't stay with me every moment that has me curious.

What does your doodle do and how do you interpret it?

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Sounds like vacuuming is a great training opportunity at your house! I used to put Tara in a down stay and then Swiffer all around her as a challenge. No wonder she doesn't follow me around! LOL!

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

I call Oliver my shadow :)   Sasha use to follow me but when Oliver came along she passed that to Ollie.  At times both are stuck to me like glue.  When I am watching TV on the couch.. Sasha is snuggled up next to me and Oliver is on the floor chewing on a toy.  Sometimes all three of us are smushed on the couch together. 

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Sounds like a Barbara sandwich!! :)

[BG and Gavin]

Gavin likes to be in the vicinity of the people.  Our house is pretty open so he can be in the living room and keep an eye on the kitchen, the dining room and the hallway all without turning his head.  If he requires a bit more peace and quiet he will go to his bed in the spare room or the cool tile of the bathroom.  If we are both on the lower level of the house however, he will make his way down there in short order.  If people are gathered on the lower level, there is no way that he would miss out on the action by being upstairs.  No way!  Just think, there may be some time of ball tossing opportunity that would be missed!  As for affection he will approach me periodically throughout the day and sit nice and tall on the floor beside my chair hoping for an ear scratching (or maybe he is hoping I will produce a ball).  In the evening he will often lay at my or DH's feet.  I always felt that he was pretty balanced although he is well know for intruding when I am in the bathroom and always comes with me to shower when he hears me open the linen closet or switch on the vent fan.  I think that is from his puppy training days though, when I would not leave him alone lest he get into trouble.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Gav sounds like a calm boy. Not pushy or needy but balanced Do you know what he does when you are gone?

My former dogs were always right on my heels. When I stood up they stood up. When I was on the computer one would be at my side and one ON my feet. Sometimes I felt trapped!!

Gavin sounds like he falls somewhere in between Tara and my former dogs as far as his desire to be close.

[BG and Gavin]

I don't think he does anything when we are gone.  I would like to know if he sleeps or is just in a state of semi-alert relaxation because he does not touch a thing while we are gone - food, water, toys, snacks.  When I come home he will often get up from where he was laying, get a drink of water and then eat the treat that I left for him before I left.  I am so thankful that he is not the least bit anxious.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

It's a comfort to know that they are not stressed out when you are gone! Sounds like Gavin puts himself into stasis!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

What a horrible experience for Riley! Yes, I can imagine that would change the way that a dog sees the world.  But what is with all the daddy's babies at your house? That would drive me nuts!  My former dogs were all MINE and DH was an outsider! LOL! Long story. Tara is the first dog I have had to actually SHARE and sometimes it's hard! So I get it!! :)

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Bexter follows me everywhere.  I always said that the type of dog I wanted was a dog I would trip over if I turned around.  He is DEFINITELY that dog.  If I go anywhere, he is right there.  If I leave the house, my DH says that he literally lays down by the door until I return.  In a way, I LOVE this, but in a way, it makes me stressed to leave because I know Bex is all distraught.  However, he does not need to be touching me all the time - he just wants to be in the same room as me.  He rarely lays down next to me and definitely NEVER on the lap or touching.  That part makes me sad because I REALLY wanted a cuddlebug.  I figure he really loves me because he wants to be with me, but he is not that snuggly.  I definitely want to cut his hair because I want to see if he becomes more snuggly.  Maybe he's just too hot???

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Traci I do think that heat is an issue for Tara as far as snuggling goes. When she was young we had her hair quite long and she was as you describe Bexter, not much of a cuddler. Well, the mats got away from me once and she ended up with a very short haircut and then she was much more interested in being on our laps! :)

I think it is important that they are able to be calm when you are gone. I used to wonder what Tara did when I was gone so one day I set up a camera! She just played with her toys a little bit and rearranged the cover on her crate (she was not in it) and then she feel asleep and slept until I returned. It was nice to see her so comfortable being alone.

I read once (don't know it it is true) that in the dog world the Alpha is the one that comes and goes and the Betas wait for Alpha to return. The Betas do not leave the Alpha. So if your dog gets upset when you leave it is because they think that you are a Beta member of the pack that is leaving them(seeing themselves as Alpha). Which in their world is WRONG!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Tara,

Are you saying that it sounds like Bexter thinks he is alpha?  If that is the case, that means I have done something wrong, right?  I know to make him sit for things, he sits & waits for me to go out the door first, etc.  Is there anything else for me to do?  I am relatively new to having a dog as our first "baby" was spoiled rotten & I wanted to do things "right" this time.  I do think Bex is calm when I leave; he just lays there waiting for me.  But, I think the camera is a good idea & I want to check it out to be sure!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

No, I (Ricki :) wouldn't say that. I am no expert by any means! And Bexter is still young. Puppies tend to follow more and some of us have found that as our doodles age they do less following. I guess we are just not that interesting after while! LOL!

I'm a little confused because in this comment you said Bex is calm when you are gone but in your first comment you said he is distraught.

If he is distraught then it would  be good to do some more work with him in that area.  I wouldn't want to think of Tara being stressed out whenever I couldn't take her with me. 

If you feel this needs some fine tuning maybe you could start at discussion about it or search and see what ideas have already been suggested on DK about separation anxiety.

As far as the Alpha/Beta thing goes I have no idea if it is correct or not. Just something I read. And I find that each dog has there own personality and it seems what applies to one may not to another. So as Adina said earlier I think it is part of a package. If he is trying to dominate or control you in other areas then there may be a problem. If not I wouldn't worry about it at this point!