DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

Hi All,

I have been on this site for a year and a half. I have gotten some great advise and made some nice friends.  I have gotten great grooming tips, food advice, lots of laughs and a few tears.  However, I have noticed recently when people ask questions, there is a tendency to be a little forceful with answers.  A lot of people are asking  questions or looking for solutions for real problems....aggressive dogs, food issues, re-homing issues...and instead of lending a sympathetic ear and helpful advice, there seems to be some quick responses with judging comments.  Often times I feel sorry for the person asking the question, and some of the answers are mean-spirited.  Some are very helpful.

Sometimes people don't see previous posts.  When someone re-posts something, or asks a question, again...the poster is not doing it to be a pain...maybe they just didn't see the original post.

I like this site. I like knowing peoples stories, and their pups.

I hope that this post can make people think twice before they post an answer to a post, where the poster is seeking advice.  The advice might be something that the poster does not like, but it can be stated in a kinder way.

For example, I am really nervous that people are going to react harshly to this post.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I always put the dog first. The people are adults with freedom of choice and the ability to reason.

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

well... not all posters seem to posses the ability to reason...

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

was this nasty???

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Not in my book, lol.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I thought you were very nice. Much nicer than what I have been thinking and wanting to say. 

  " Too bad, ignorance isn't painful. Then we would no longer need this forum"

But, that would make an example out of me.  But honestly, I would have learned a lot quicker if it was. 

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

truth hurts  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Pam, I try and be nice and I try and use humor when I can, because I think humor can diffuse many situations. As far as the search, I know I type in some of the discussions the links for previous discussions we have had on the exact same subject, because if I typed, "We have had 500 discussions on this topic, three in the last week, and two on the front page as we speak!" if would not go over big and Adina might send me a private email asking me to leave DK :) I feel this speaks to what BG was saying in that some people do not want to really be a part of this community, but jump on here without doing any searching, read no other discussions or blogs, contribute no help to others, post their question, never to be heard from again. They have really no desire to pay anything forward, like BG said. On the other hand, we have members on here that amaze me at how many times they answer the same questions over and over again to offer help where help is needed. They are not getting paid, but do it to help dogs and dog owners. 

As far as being kinder, I like kindness, but sometimes there are just going to be hot topics that get people worked up and sometimes, there is no way to sugarcoat the obvious. We have all kinds of people on here, with all kinds of life experiences, and when you ask a question, responses are going to vary and the way they get said are going to vary, just like in real life. My husband is far more diplomatic with our two girls than I have ever been, but we both still love our girls. I think you can disagree with the poster, yet still be respectful and for the most part, that is what I have seen on DK. 

Thank you for your discussion!

[F, Calla & Luca]

You use humor? Never : ) But yes what you say sums it up well again.

[Pam and Ginger Snap]

It is NEVER you and you my dear keep me in smiles all the time!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thank you!!

[BG and Gavin]

It makes me sad that the forum hoppers are missing out on reading your hilarious blogs Laurie.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Awwww...thank you, BG :)