Frustrated! Help!

[Nothing To Do With Doodles]

This really has nothing to do with my dogs, or doodles at all. But, it is a story of a black lab named Wally. Wally is the best. He is such a nice, smart, active, loyal dog. His owners are friends of my husband and mine. They are not the most generous, caring people in the world. Since we met them, about 2 years ago, we noticed that Wally seemed to spend a lot of time in his kennel. We didn't really think much of it, not having a dog of our own yet and not really having anything to compare to it. We always played with him when we were there and he always seemed happy.

Once we got Fifa, I started to notice how Wally really is treated. He is almost 4 years old. They still kennel him any time they leave the house (which may not necessarily be a bad thing, but in this case, it is). He doesn't know how to behave when they are gone because they have never trained him or given him the chance to try. I started realizing that this poor guy spent at least 12 hours in his kennel a day. They just had their first baby last October. It has gotten even worse for Wally. He is now in the kennel even if they are home, for extended periods of time. My husband and I will come over, and there he is sitting in the kennel. We, of course, ask right away if we can let him out and play. Then, he gets excited, jumps around, licks us, runs everywhere (NORMAL DOG BEHAVIOR!) and they threaten to put him back in the kennel. They never play with him, never walk him, hardly ever even look at him. They complain about having to feed him, let him out, pretty much everything that has to do with him. Since they had their baby, he has gained at least 10 pounds. He is very unhealthy. He is so smart and would do awesome with training if they gave him a chance. He has also become more aggressive to other dogs/people. I truly believe it is because he doesn't get any exercise, and he is stressed out and unsure of this new life change. The second I or my husband get there, we run outside to play with him. You can just tell how much he needs that. The other day, he literally rubbed up against me like a cat and sat right in my lap, licking my face, and rubbing his head on me. He weighs over 70 lbs! :-)

Lately, I just can't get poor Wally out of my head. This poor guy is such a wonderful dog, but he is missing out on a great life. I don't know how to go about this. Do I just bite my tongue and let it be because it's not really my business? Do I intervene?

They are moving into a nice, brand new house and I worry that life will only get worse for Wally because they cannot stand how much he sheds...I know..why would you get a dog that heavily sheds if you can't stand it?!?! Ugh!

I have a feeling that deep down they really would like to get rid of him but are too prideful to say. My heart hurts for this wonderful dog...any advice is so much appreciated!

P.S. Sorry for writing a book!!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

I would mention how busy they are now with their baby and upcoming move. And then I would gently note they don't seem to have time for Wally. See where the conversation goes and maybe they would be willing to rehome Wally. It certainly sounds like Wally will be better off.

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

I think you should try to bring it up somehow. Would you consider adopting him? It sounds like it might be the best solution for poor Wally since they might try and get rid of him at some point of time. Please keep us posted. And thank you for caring. :-)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I have such mixed feelings about these things. On the one hand, I know that most dogs have no idea that they are not being treated well and that life is a lot better at other dogs' houses. They are content with whatever they have, as long as they are in a familiar place where they feel secure, with their people, who they love even if the owners don't return the feeling, and are not being outright abused. I've seen how hard rehoming is for most dogs, especially the older ones who haven't been exposed to much outside of their homes and families.

On the other hand, his situation sounds very sad and it appears there's a good chance it's about to get even sadder. I think before I approached the subject, I would research rescue groups in your area, making sure that they are legitimate not-for-profits that have been around for awhile and have a good track record of placing lots of dogs in carefully screened homes. Then if you do bring up the subject of rehoming Wally, you would have a safe alternative to offer. You could bring it up in a neutral way with a little white lie if that seems more comfortable: "A girl I work with is moving and had to give up her dog, and she found this wonderful place", that kind of thing. Or F's suggestion is good, too.

I just feel so sad when I hear these kinds of stories. A dog would never treat a person this way. 

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

You are in a horrible position and my heart hurts for you as well as for Wally. I too, compare our doodles life to other dogs lives. I, like Karen have to tell myself constantly, "they don't know any better, and this is the life they are used to".

In your case I can tell you are miserable and you are foreseeing poor Wally's future which makes it worse. I do know one thing, it's easy for me to say what you should do but know how hard it is to actually say those things.

Good advice from F. though if you can say it in a totally nonjudgmental way. I am sure that when you ask can Wally come out and they make comments like you are going to have to go back in if you don't behave you want to say things like " oh he's fine, he's acting just like a dog and it's okay he is really very good.

These people really do need a realty check but it's going to be a very hard thing to do. I hope they don't just dump him somewhere before you get the chance to help. Good Luck.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Wow - that is sad.  I'm with the others - I would steer the conversation in that direction and see how it goes.  We always had Labs prior to doodles and they are the sweetest dogs - next time you see Wally - give him a hug from us! 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

This makes me so sad for Wally. He does need help and thank you for trying to be that person.  I think I would start the conversation and see what happens. I know there are wonderful Lab rescue groups out there and if you are willing to foster him that could be a plus, too. Please let us know what happens. I love Labs and never understood why people get dogs that don't want them to be a part of the family. Both of our Labs were velcro dogs and I can't imagine them be happy living this kind of life. Luck of the draw can really stink sometimes.

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

I know exactly where you are coming from !!  You feel sooooo sorry for Wally because the poor dog does not deserve a life of being ignored.  I would suggest in a very nice way that Wally would be better off re-homed etc. etc. because they do not have time anymore since the child arrived.  You would be doing Wally good if he does get re-homed and be in a loving environment that ALL dogs deserve.  Poor baby.... I hope he gets the love he so needs.

[Gail and Bailey]

I think if you are willing to take Wally into your family that you should go with that option. I would think that Wally's owners would rather know he is with someone they know and they could visit him (if they ever wanted to). There is a chance they would not want to give him up to strangers.  Maybe you could offer to keep him while they make the move and transition into their new home ....then it would be easier for them to see how happy he is and you could tell them how much you want to keep him.  It could be a way to ease into adopting him without having to make them feel like they are just giving him up.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

This is a perfect idea!!  Gail, You are a genius!!

[Gail and Bailey]

Thank you, Laurie... (said while blushing).   

Now if I could just get my family to think I am a genius. :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I have the same problem :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

Same problem, different reason : )