FRUSTRATED!

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I was very frustrated when I logged on this morning and saw that the individual that posted asking for help with teaching their child to behave around the doodle had deleted their question and left.  The timing of this post could not have been better (or maybe worse depending on how you look at it) because of the DRC issue the day before that I discussed in my response to her.  If you didn't see the original post, the individual was asking for help with her 5 y/o and the way he was treating their doodle.  Seemed to possibly be some jealousy and he originally was hugging very tightly, laying on it, etc but had now resorted to hitting and kicking.  This struck me as a very serious situation because the DRC had just been frantically searching for a rescue to take in a Doodle that was only hours away from being put down because it was labeled as having guarding issues with food, toys, people, you name it.  Why, because it had been mistreated by the children in its home.  It needed a home without other dogs and one with a very experience foster parent.  As you know, all the experienced DRC fosters have dogs already (or at least I assume they do).  Anyway, the DRC couldn't help but was trying to find another rescue to step up before the Doodle was put down.  (and one did, so all is well for now).

The one main reason (among others) that I now keep coming back to DK (since we do a lot of chatting via FB now) is that there are always posts like this.  Being involved in rescue to a small degree we see dogs come into rescue for this very reason over and over again.  To me, it was a very serious situation that needed addressed ASAP.  A couple folks responded with some good ideas ahead of me.  I tried very hard in my response not to sound judgmental, but to somehow get across the urgency of the situation ... sometimes that is really hard to do.  I felt immediate measures needed to be put into place before the child was bitten and the dog was then surrendered with a "behavioral issues" label.   I read, tweaked and re read my response over and over again to try and get the point across, without seeming harsh.  WHY, because I didn't want this person to leave us.  I wanted them to stay here and tell us what they had put in place, what they were trying, how it was going, and let us lead and guide them through this process.  I didn't want them to be offended, embarrassed, feel judged, or think we didn't care, because we do.  Each and everyone of us care.

To the original poster, if you happen to come here again, if I offended you in any way, I'm sorry.  That certainly was not my intent.  I had hopped that you would realize just how serious the situation was and that you would let us help you get through it.  Many of us here have had issues that were beyond our knowledge and ability to fix and we have helped each other and referred those who needed it to experienced trainers.   Many people here are first time dog owners that have gotten in over their heads and others have had dogs for 30-40 or 50 years.   We judge no one who is asking for help. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

There was no mention of the child having any type of medical or developmental issues, either in the discussion or on her page. 

[jenn D]

Gotcha. I was just thinking maybe because the behavior was outside of typical children with hitting or kicking. I guess we just don't know.

[Kaitee and Orwell]

I too am shocked to hear about this... I was not on when this happened. From this conversation, though, I would hope that the mother would at least thinking about taking their child to one counseling/therapy session whether or not the child has an actual problem. If they don't, they should realize that this behavior is not appropriate and won't continue it or they will have to go to therapy again (waste of time for the child). If the child does have a problem, it's a win-win situation. 

I wish my parents took me to therapy for my anxiety long before I had enough of it. There is no shame in therapy or taking your child to therapy. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Wonderful post and advice.