Grumpy Husband who hates puppies!

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

Anyone else have a husband that hates dogs? We got Cooper a little over a week ago. I figured with time he would warm up to Cooper but it hasn't gotten any better. He pushes Cooper away ever time he comes near him, freaks out if he chews on stuff or pees in the house. Who doesn't love a cute puppy?!?! Any suggestions to make it better?

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

I would be VERY concerned - some people just don't care for animals and nothing may change.  I'd be concerned about the dog's care when you can't be there, not saying he would be mean but dh's lack of affection or attention would worry me.  I think this should have been discussed and decided before you got a puppy!  The puppy most likely will be fine if there is just indifference but if there is "pushing away" - I'm thinking this could escalate to something worse.  I'd be having a family meeting and getting it sorted out NOW.  Just my humble 2 cents. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I agree; indifference is one thing, but "hating" and actually pushing the puppy away sends a message to that baby dog at a time in his life when he is very impressionable; a message about what to expect from his pack leaders and from human men in general. 

[Adina P]

I don't see this as 'hate' -- hate actively tries to hurt.  This is more 'get out of my way.'  When I'm typing on the computer and Rosco brings his giant, pushy wet beard over my hands, I push him out of the way.  I'm not shoving his whole body away or anything.  Just trying to get that head out of my way.  I'm not hurting him or making him scared of me.  In the same way I don't think there's any 'message' being sent to the pup.   I don't think he is going to feel 'rejected' or think ill of men.  A human child, yes.  A puppy?  Not a chance.  Unless that man does something cruel or actively hurtful or scary, I think the pup will barely get the hint.  Even the 'go away you dumb mutt' isn't going to psychologically damage a pup because that pup doesn't understand those words or get even a 'hint' of disapproval from those words.  Dogs are not generally deterred from being friendly even when someone doesn't like them.

Now whether or not this pup - 'dad' relationship will work out, I have no idea.  Doesn't sound too promising.  But the fear that it will turn to 'abuse' seems a little far fetched to me. It sounds to me that he has no 'softy' in him and finds kids and dogs kind of annoying.  But that doesn't mean he 'hates' them. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Adina. The OP used the word "hate" herself in the title and in the body of this discussion. That's where I took it from. I'm not describing this as hate, she is. 

I disagree with you on the effects of pushing a puppy away. There's body language and tone of voice that goes along with it, and those can send the message that "you are not wanted near me." Tone of voice and attitude is everything to a dog. That does have an effect.  There's also a huge, huge difference between Rosco, who has known you since he was 8 weeks old and has developed a deep bond with you, and a 9 week old puppy who just lost his mother and littermates and is looking to bond with his new pack. 

[Adina P]

Okay, you're right. I guess once I read the content and description, I forgot the title.  To me it seems more of an attention getter or exaggeration.  There's hate and there's HATE.  I sometimes use the word hate loosely regarding some things I don't truly hate in an active or angry way. 
I guess I just disagree with the effect such behavior would have on a pup.  I haven't seen the body language or tone of voice, though.  I can imagine some people saying 'you dumb mutt' in a flippant way and others with a lot of negativity/anger/disgust. I hope it is not in a truly hateful/revolted kind of way. 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Just changing from saying a soothing "It's okay" to a cheerful "Good boy" made a huge, huge difference in JD's confidence levels when I was dealing with his fear issues back when I first got him. It made him go from freezing dead in the middle of the street to being able to walk past something that scared him. Just that small and subtle a difference in tone and inflection.

So many of us here have successfully used this priniciple in training and working with reactive and fearful dogs. If positive energy cures it, negative energy could certainly cause it.

Remember, it's been well documented that dogs can read people's moods and facial expressions far better than any other animal in the world, including our close relatives, the apes. It's a mistake to underestimate the effects that our moods, tones, body language and overall facial expressions have on our dogs. 

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

i can sigh and think that I am not happy with something and Bender will know.  Dogs are truly AMAZING animals!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Yep. 

[Jennifer and Jack]

Karen may I leave Jack to you ??? LOl come on Jack x2. .......I love your heart for these babies..

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

:)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Connie, I would strongly suggest that you get pet insurance for Cooper ASAP. There are a lot of cases where a dog requires expensive veterinary procedures for illness or emergency situations, which can happen to any dog, and we have had cases here where a husband who didn't love the dog refused to pay for necessary care or treatments. Pet insurance is strongly recommended anyway, but in your case, I'd get it sooner rather than later to eliminate conflict down the road at a stressful time.

[Chelsie]

Getting a goldendoodle was my idea, not the husband's, but we both wanted another puppy. My husband would have preferred a small dog, since he grew up with yorkies, and it did take awhile for him to warm up to Sam. There were times when I thought he never would and that I would live a life of doing everything in my power to not let Sam get in his way, but I am happy to say that the husband warmed up to Sam and loves him dearly! I think the timing of getting a puppy that didn't stay small for very long was probably bad on my part since my husband's job was very demanding at the time. I did however catch him a lot cuddling on Sam and trying to get him to do tricks when he thought I wasn't around. My husband loves Sam now that he is older and more mature, and listens! I would give your husband time, and lots of training for Cooper! Best of luck!