Help - 2 owners thinking of giving up their puppies

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

If any of our more wise doodle experts who are not members of Puppy Madness Group - would please go sign up so that you can respond to P.M group postings.  I'm not the right person to really help in this situation but we have 2 members talking about giving their puppies up.  Go to the Help I'm Getting Discouraged message and read through - you'll see we actually have 2 people talking about giving their puppies up.  Arrrrrrghhhh!  I've left a pretty stern message myself :(   but these owners need help and fast!!!!  One owner might be just venting - the other owner sounds pretty serious about giving up the dog "before we get too attached."  Barf.  We don't want to see their beautiful doodles given up - unless in the end that is the best option for the dog.  Please help!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think the advice that's already there from some very smart doodle experts, yourself included, is very good, and there's nothing I could add to it. I will only end up ranting about first-time owners with unrealistic expectations who really did NOT do their homework and are now blaming a helpless baby animal for their own lack of preparation and commitment. There, see what happens when you call these things to my attention, lol?

If the puppies are given up, it may be for the best. Better now than when they are 2 or 3 years old and impossible to manage.

Then the DRC volunteers can have more heartache. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Gosh, I just finished writing a blog called First Child, First Dog, and talked about the feelings we get when we bring a new being into our lives. It is waiting for approval. Sometimes, I think you can say everything that needs to be said, and still have people who don't want to do the hard work and want everything to come easily. The good things never do. I would rather see the dogs re-homed now, then wait until they get older and are much harder to re-home.  Thanks for caring, Jane!!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Great News Laurie - the one owner REALLY was just venting and truely is committed to keeping her doodle - we need to give her tons of support!! 

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I agree, sometimes an owner like this just needs support and to hear it's not just their puppy.... I responded to that discussion. But I did think yoiu did a great job responding also.

 

Can't wait to read your blog Laurie.  Good kids are "good" because their parents put work into parenting.  Good dogs are "good" for the same reason.  Peri is not just wonderful because of her genes, she is wonderful because DH and I spent a helluva long time training her to become the 3-year old she is today.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

There is hope. I took on a puppy once with two babies in diapers- one just crawling. Down on the floor chewing on my babies feet. It was a mistake and I cried many nights. But.......
Mom came over to babysit, I went to training with the new pup, and we all lived happily ever after.
So yes, they do need support. Not all these situations have bad endings. Many, but not all. I swore, I would never get another puppy during those days. :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I just wish people would ask for support instead of making threats, though. Many of us do not respond well to emotional blackmail.

[Adina P]

I didn't take it as a threat...just the voice of desperation and the feeling of complete hopelessness.  Like things look impossible and that might be the only solution.  I speak from experience because when I complained endlessly about Rosco LOTS of people told me I should rehome him and assumed I was an idiot.  Nope.  Just feeling really awful about this dog that made me afraid of him and my inexperience wasn't helping.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

That might be true if the person didn't then turn around and say, "I was just venting."

When I vent, I say "I'm going to lose my mind", "This _____  is driving me crazy", that kind of thing. When I feel helpless or hopeless and need help, I say, please help me. I don't say "Please help me OR..."  I don't say I'm going to get rid of my dog, any more than I would say I'm going to get rid of my child. It's disturbing to me that the first thing that comes to mind is to get rid of the puppy, as if it were an object. I can't help thinking that if the thought comes that easily to someone, there is not really a deep commitment there. Moreover, the fact that someone thinks it is acceptable to say that publicly about a baby dog that they themselves, by purchasing him, cheated out of the opportunity for a different  home with perhaps a more experienced owner is a little bit shocking to me. That's me. If I have to respect other people's feelings, they have to respect mine, too.

I notice you said that other people told you to rehome Rosco. I wonder if you publicly voiced the desire to rehome him yourself.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

We NEVER considered getting rid of our children ------ boxing them up until they were grown - most definitely.

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

I haven't read the discussion in question (and I'm not sure I want to) but I think what frustrates most of us is the lack of interest in working through issues.  So many of us on here have shed tears of frustration over a situation that occurred with our own dogs that we couldn't seem to fix.  Be it illness, injury, or behavior problems with puppies or adopted dogs.  Sure we cried and we vented, but we sought help from other DK members and got through it.  Life is not easy, why should pet ownership be any different? What is even worse is that many of us have cried from the sadness that we have felt for poor doodles as they have fallen victim to human ignorance.  Ugh!  sorry...I just got done updating the Regional Listings on the DRC site and I'm frustrated.  I just wish people would step up and take responsibility. 

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

"step up and take responsibilty" is a big problem in society. Not just for pets.  It's frustrating, I agree.

[Janice Hammond]

Don't get me started on people who wantto give up puppies.What did they think they were getting a poreclain ornament that never moves?

 

Drives me crazy.