I think I made a mistake?

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Two weekends ago, my significant other and I came across a small doodle at a rescue in Portland.  He was in terrible shape, bitten by other dogs, weighs 10 lbs and should be 15+ and in an awful situation.  We filled out the paperwork, wrote the check and brought him home to Bend, OR - about 4 hours away. 

We got him home and started the process of re-housebreaking, getting him healthy, etc.  He has gained a pound is adapting well.  We had initially thought we would want to keep him.  However, our number one dog, Cooper, does not like him (they met each other at the rescue and were fine, but not overly warm or welcoming.)  The new little dog is a lap dog and really wants to be sitting on me somewhere at all times.  Cooper is obviously very jealous.  I feel guilty even holding the new dog and am having a very hard time dealing with the guilt.  I had previously fostered a dog, and I had no problems with Cooper being jealous so I am not sure why this one is so tough, other than the new dog is a lap type dog and my foster wasn’t. It has now been a week and a half and Cooper has been sick the whole time - vomiting and diarrhea.  He is lethargic and not interested in anything.  I have been to the vet 4 times.  In addition, I took them to the park and let them play over the weekend and Cooper kept head butting the little guy and knocking him over.  He guards me and tries to keep little one away.  He never did this with the foster, so not sure why we are having so many problems.  The little one also tried to pee on me – marking me as his if you will.

As much as it pains me to say this, I am not sure the new little guy will be the right fit for our family.  He obviously needed rescued and we did the best we could for him by getting him out of that horrid situation, but I am concerned we are not his forever home? I know above all, I do not want to compromise Cooper for this new dog.  I thought getting a buddy for Coop would be a good thing, but perhaps I was wrong?  Or I just got the wrong buddy?  Or maybe the problem is I have two number one dogs and nobody is wanting to share me.

I have been treating Coop like he is number one – feed him first, pet him first, take him out by himself, etc.  I work from home, so I am around both dogs all the time.

This whole thing is eating me up – I haven’t slept well in days, I have lost 7 pounds in a week and I don’t know what to do for them?  The vet said to keep them separate for a bit, so little one is napping in his kennel and Coop is in here with me.

I honestly think maybe little dog would do best as a single dog with and owner that loves to have him sit on his/her lap?

So I am asking for help.  How do I make this current situation better?  And what can I do so everyone is getting what they need and having the best life possible?

[Christina and Cooper plus Benny]

Little dog is the blonde in front and Coop is the chocolate in back.

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

This is so sad, they are both adorable. When we brought our second one home it took awhile because Chloe said this was her house and her family~they didn't bond at first. It took awhile, but if Cooper is sick you may be right? as sad as it is, could you foster and have him adopted? Any friends that are looking for a small dog? You shuld feel great that you rescued him and are bringing him back to health. Not sure what else to say except that I feel for you. It will ultimately be your family's decision. Have you tried talking to a trainer at all for advice?

[Adina P]

Adding the second dog can be a challenge indeed.  When Clark added Thule to his life he only had a 9 or 10 y.o. border collie.  It took TWO weeks before they quit barking at each other and circling each other with Cas hip-checking Thule.  They never became buds but they lived peacefully together till they both passed away a few years later.  So there is hope if YOU really like the little guy. 

I highly recommend you treat the little guy as a BIG guy and avoid picking him up and setting him on your lap as much as possible until you have had a chance to develop the right relationship with him and have put some obedience training into him.  Until then it sounds like he's trying to take over to some degree.  Little dogs are overly handled for so much of their life...teach him to be a normal dog not one that needs to be held and needs a person to own.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Omd he is so cute..I would take him I. A second if I didn't already have a lap doodle. He is seriously cute. It took Jack and Molly (my moms dog who lived with us for a few months) a long time not to be jealous of each other....I can honestly say, Jack prefers to be an only child....

Thank you for rescuing him..he is so cute!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Boy, this is a difficult situation! Thank you though for getting Little Dog to a  loving place where he can be safe and heal. Do you think Cooper has been sick due to stress or is he ill with something physical?  If he is physically ill it could explain some of his unhappy behavior. Having a strange dog in his home when he is not well would probably be very upsetting for him. He could feel like he is losing his place in the pack.

It sounds like Little Dog needs to learn some boundaries. "Owning" your lap and marking you...all not good things. It sounds like he has had little direction and needs to learn that you are in charge. This would also help Cooper feel more secure.  The dogs should always be 2 and 3 to YOUR "one".

Cesar Milan always recommends walking dogs together to form a "pack" mentality between them. So maybe walks would be more useful right now than dog parks or letting them run loose together. It's a big adjustment for both of them and is going to take some time.

I can understand your concern about Cooper and his happiness. I would be heartbroken if Tara ended up miserable due to my bringing another dog into our household. And it doesn't make sense to make one dog happy and end up making another one unhappy. You're not gaining any ground! :) But I think a lot can be gained by getting Cooper healthy and being a strong Alpha for them so each one is secure and confident of their place in your "pack".  So training, walking and setting boundaries is where I would start. Good luck and please keep us posted on this!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Christina, I think it will work out eventually and may take time, but if you regretting this decision, could you foster the new dog and try and find him a new home? It does sound like you rescued him from a terrible situation. I think everyone is giving you some good advice. Good luck!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Christina, There was a discussion recently about a family that rescued an abandoned dog and how upset the first dog was initially. Here it is:

http://www.doodlekisses.com/forum/topics/sox-needs-a-foster-or-fore...

It looks like the dogs worked it out and maybe you could ask them how long it took. Just a thought.

[ERIC A. NATER]

One of the questions that almost all rescues ask potential adopters is:  Do you understand that it may take a month or more for the Dog to adjust to its new home?  A week an a half is not enough time for either Dog to adjust to a whole new Life.  I have had Fosters that would growl and snap at my Dogs for a few days,and become close friends and playmates in just a few weeks. Give the little dog a chance!  If you work from Home, you should have more of a chance to work with them.  There are no aggressive problems from either dog, and that is a good sign that things will work out. Like others have said, it takes time.

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

Rescue dogs usually need their confidence restored and it is so tempting to feel sorry for them and "overlove" them.  You are doing so well by him to just provide food and shelter, vet care and pets.  Please do not feel guilty.  Give Cooper lots of love and remind him he is first.  Each dog should get a little one on one time.  But it is so very very easy to take a rescue dog and make him dependent on you, when he really needs to become a whole dog again, confident and only looking to you and Cooper for guidance in new situations.

I agree with Adina about the lap sitting.  If you want to cuddle, sit on the floor so each one can have side and a hand. I know you want to reassure the rescue that he is loved, but you don't want him to become fearful if he is not attached to you and that is easy to do with a rescue.  Help him become a whole dog by treating him as the second dog in your home.  It will take a while for he and Cooper to work things out.  Just monitor them for six months or more when the are together.  That means just be around, but not interfere.  Your presence makes it clear that you are top dog and Cooper is much less likely to seriously hurt the rescue.

 Feeding Cooper first, letting him out first etc is great.  Treat the new little dog like a puppy, more cage time and therefore more time for Cooper to be one on one with you. 

Walking them together is great bonding, if you can manage them. I do take my two to the dog park occasionally, but dog parks are not my favorite place and not a place I would take a rescue to for a long while.  Just establishing order at home, in the yard and on the leash is enough for the little guy to handle until he is a confident dog again.

 

Thanks for rescuing him, wait a little to make the decision about keeping him and give both dogs some time and space to adjust. 

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

Hi

First of all thank you for being the one to step out and do something for this dog.  In addition, breath and give yourself some grace right now :)  this reminds me of when I brought home my very first foster dog and things didn't always go the way I thought they would.  The foster dog was a mess and after a week of cutting mats off, vet visits and trying to get him to walk on a leash I was fried.  I didn't even like him and kept asking myself what in the world was I doing.

But I have to tell you each day became better and better as I calmed down and we had a good routine going.  After a rough start Jake and the foster became good pals.  I fell in love with my foster and if he hadn't been so interested in eating my cat he would have had a forever home with us.  Cooper will be ok and I know you will receive lots of good advice from others. 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

It sounds like Cooper and "Little Dog" are trying to figure our where they fit in the "pack" which is pretty normal.  The fact that Cooper is guarding you and the new dog is trying to pee on you would say that they are both trying to claim you.  I think right now you need to be really strong with them, letting them know that you are in charge. I run into the guarding behavior all the time with my Murphy.....and I always stop it immediately.  I agree that holding the "Little Dood" is probably not a good idea.  I have a mini too, and I don't hold him in my lap or pick him up....although I'm often really tempted.  Remember YOU are number one, and the other Doods will work out their place behind you.  My two actually seem to take turns with being "number two".  Murph tries to be "in charge" of his brother, but there are some things that Guinness will just not defer to him on.   The hardest part is going to be trying not to feel sorry for either of them.  You don't wank Cooper to sense that you're feeling bad about his reaction to the new dog, because that kind of validates it for him.  The new Dood needs to learn the rules of your house and recognize you as a strong leader, and feeling bad for him because of his past won't help him to move on.  I think you did a wonderful thing in rescuing this adorable little guy...just give it a little time and see if things don't get better.

[Amy, Cubbie & Ollie]

When we adopted Ollie last summer he and Cubbie did NOT get along (to the point where we had a couple of actual dog fights and a trip to the emergency vet for Cubbie).  We are coming up on a year and they are a lot better together now (finally).  We still have our issues and I always monitor how they play together for signs that things are getting tense, but we are making progress.  When we first brought Ollie home he was afraid of everyone and everything and would seek me out for comfort.  DH and I took both dogs to our trainer for a one on one session and she told me that I was not allowed to comfort him when he ran to me.  He had to get used to working with DH and that if he came up to me, I had to turn my back to him and it really did work.  So I would suggest keeping the new little guy off your lap for a bit until he learns his place because right now it might seem to him and to Cooper that he is the new favorite since he has the prized spoton your lap. 

When the fights got bad at our house, our trainer told us to take away ALL of their toys.  Once they got bored enough they would consider playing with each other.  We were toyless for about 3 weeks and then we added back only their bones for another 2 weeks and finally the toys came back out.  All toys are put away when we are away from the house.  Oh whenever you have to leave them alone, make sure to separate them until you know that things are better between them.  You don't want them together right now unless you are there to supervise. 

I would also get Cooper to the vet to get him checked out for any medical issues with the stomach problems that he has been having. 

Good luck and if you want some more info on what we have been through the past year, just shoot me a private message and I would be happy to share.  It has been a rocky road for us, but things have worked out.