I think I need to get rid of Stew...UPDATE!

[Jess & Stewart]

I haven't posted on here in awhile. Long story short, Stew has been really great lately, UNTIL YESTERDAY. He's out of the crate in the mornings, I have a tall baby gate up, the dog walker puts him in after their walk and he's fine until I come home. He barely notices when I leave. He'd been so good lately that I hadn't been recording him. He'd been listening, happy, fun,.playful, snuggly, just getting to be a great dog etc. 

I have an appt with our trainer next week because he's been really stubborn with his harness and come He just sits or lays down and doesn't move at all towards me, then when he comes he tries to bite the harness and isn't very cooperative. But I didn't need the guarding or separation anxiety addressed. 

Yesterday, I get home and my dog walker's note said that he was the on the other side of the gate and opened my bedroom door and grabbed a pair of shoes but didn't chew them. Nothing else seemed out of place. This morning when I leave, Stew was on guard, wasn't his usual aloof self. Made sure the gate was latched/locked shut and put something heavy in front of my bedroom door. 

Get to work and open the app website, Stew isn't in my living room and there's someone in my apt!! I freaked out, then realized it was maintenance guys installing my dishwasher. I rewind the feed and Stew JUMPED over my 41' tall baby gate. Apparently maintenance talked to another Jess with a dog, that dog was going to be put in the bedroom. So when they saw stew got into my bedroom, they just shut the door. 

I freaked out, called my landlord and said I didn't know people would be in my apt and could they please put stew in his crate like last time. Landlord says they will. They don't, then they leave and i can't see what Stew's getting into. So I was in panic mode until my dog walker could get there at 10:30. 

Dog walker got him and took him out and I asked her to assess the damage. I'm freaking out that he chewed clothes, my moving boxes I had piled up etc. 

I really can't take all this worrying and stress. Stew's been SO great, no issues for months now he started this again. It really affects me and I had just stopped worrying and thought this was our new normal and he'd just continue being a great dog. I'm so jealous of you all with minimal issues--I feel like I put so much into Stew and wanted him so badly and he's the worst dog I've ever encountered with weird issues. I wish all my family who had dogs and mocked me for it (i have one & you don't) had issues while I had the 'good' dog. Sigh.   Of course, after all that freaking out, Stew didn't chew anything, just saw a shirt I wore yesterday on the floor when I got home. Closet door was open. He also barked when I tried on my new pair of jeans & I asked how they looked. That stinker. I got to the hardware store & got hook/eye closures. We'll see if they work.

[Gracie, Jade, & Barkley]

Jess, I think you've gotten some great advice.
I'm not sure what breeds your family and friends have, but all breeds are different in their behavior from how quickly they learn to how quickly they outgrow their puppy phase.
I guess I'm just saying don't base Stew's behavior or quirkiness on the other breeds. You've got great doodle experts here to help extinguish the fears that your dog is not as good as some other dogs.
Sounds like you've got a very smart pup that needs proper outlets for his energy.
Maybe invest in a laundry hamper with a lid to fend off the undies munchies. ;) I am pretty sure that if we left Gracie to her own devices she would be eating socks all the day long.
I once gave up on a dog because I didn't know any better. I regret doing that and it's been years. If I had had a support group like this then, I would have had a great time with that dog.
From what I've read of Stew's antics, he's really not a bad dog just curious and very agile.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lyndy, More good advice!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Ned is 7 and will still get into the trash if he can. We have to keep trash behind doors or up on furniture.  One of our bathrooms sports a wastebasket on the back of the toilet. He loves paper trash best, but food is good too.  Last summer when we were camping in our RV, Ned managed to get into the trash behind a supposed-to-be-closed cupboard. I was gone for 5 minutes and when I opened the door, I found trash all over and Ned's nose jammed in an empty can.  At first I was furious, but then I saw his nose in that can and burst out laughing.  I wish I had been camera ready.   My other two dogs would NEVER think of getting into trash.

[Jennifer Tramell]

I just want to say that I had the perfect dog.  My hubby & I got him from the pound 3 months after we were married.  We took him everywhere - he even went to work with me.  He was beautifully mannered, well trained, and gorgeous.  People came out of the woodwork to meet Cody.  When travelling, we could put him in a sit-stay while we pumped gas and went inside to pay (before pay at the pump). 

I can't tell you how many pairs of shoes got eaten by my perfect dog.  One day my husband corrected him and Cody chewed up a project dh was working on, ate a box of Valentines chocolates, and chewed on hubby's cowboy boots - all in the 20 minutes it took us to run to get pizza.  He was mad that 1) hubby corrected him 2) we left him home. When my perfect dog got older, he pretended not to hear us and would hurry down the road with us chasing after him.  He had lost much of his hearing, but he refused to look at us so he could pretend he didn't know what we wanted.

All this to say that often there is a fine line between a "good" dog and a "bad" dog.  The thing is that the "bad" times are much more emotional than the "good".  We don't pay attention to the times when our shoes AREN'T chewed, the food ISN'T taken off the table, they DIDN'T poop on the carpet or the door ISN'T scratched.  Sometimes I wonder what the result would be if we charted our dogs' behavior, marking each good thing and each bad thing.  I bet that the plusses would greatly outnumber the minuses.

I think we all need to remember that dogs are dogs.  They aren't people.  They don't think like people.  Most actions actually make sense if you think of it from the dogs point of view, they aren't trying to personally offend you.  It is 9am and I have had to remind myself of this already since I had one perfect dog wake me up TOO EARLY from her whining and another perfect dog who left soupy poop all over the floor.  Gotta love those perfect dogs :-)

[Robin and Libby Louise]

I think you all have given Jess great advice and I hope, Jess, that you can take it all in the manner it was given and learn to love Stew for who he is.  I know you do love him - I've been following your story since you got him.  And I do understand how people, especially this group of doodle (and animal) lovers feel when you say you might need to re-home Stew.  But I also understand that you have posted these things most probably hoping that having said that, the unthinkable, that you will have the strength and support to go the distance.  I think that everyone who has given you their best advice hopes that will happen, but you have probably also learned that should you truly mean it, no one here will think less of you for doing what is best for you and Stew.  I wish you the best - keep us posted.

[SoSa]

I understand how you feel. It can be really really stressful and while I'd never do it, I too have had re-homing thoughts. I think if we're being honest, many of us have had that thought when the going gets tough. Looming vet bills are definitely a stressor. Ace got sick at the same time mortgage and school tuition was due and it just so happened that at that very time our water heater flooded and our washing machine died. So, I totally get the stress associated with having to pay a vet bill.

My advice would be to eliminate stessors you can control. Make sure he cannot get into your bedroom. Do whatever it is you need to do to ensure he cannot get in there and destroy your things. Try your best to get things he can ingest put away. When Ace was sick and could not be crated because he was wearing a cone, He had to be left out on his own in our house. I was worried that he would get into something. I did my best to make sure all if the room doors were closed, nothing potentially dangerous was left on the counters and I put the kitchen garbage in the bathroom. Thankfully, he didn't get into anything.

Sometimes, I have to just accept that what will be, will be. I constantly watch Ace to make sure he does not have anything he's not supposed to have in his mouth. Unfortunately, he's able to find stuff I cannot see or he's quicker than I am at grabbing stuff up. The other day, he swallowed two sticks. I came home the next day to a pile of vomit with two sticks in it.

As far as you having trouble getting him into his crate, perhaps he can sense your tension and stress. I know it's hard, but for me, I had to just let some things go, because I was often tense and stressed. One of my biggest stessors was him peeing in the house. I just had to learn to deal with it. If he has an accident, correct him and clean it up.

[Carrie king]

I am writing this and from the bottom of my heart Im telling you, hang in there. It will absolutely get better. We had so many thoughts about whether we could handle Chester. He pushed every button. I felt like there might be something legitimately wrong with him. I thought about rehoming him daily (tons of guilt about that now). But it was like a switch got flipped somewhere along the way. And while he still had that wild hair, he became the worlds best dog. A dog you felt priveleged to have. We lost him last week to a brain infection, he was only 2. Be patient will Stew and all we be alright. You will look back and laugh at his antics someday.

[Robin and Libby Louise]

I am so sorry, Carrie.  That is heartbreaking.....

[Rosemary (Ro) and Enzo]

Carrie: my deepest sympathies :(. I am so very sorry.

[DJ & Chance]

So very sad, Carrie but thanks for telling this story as it will help many others who are struggling with their doodles.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Carrie, Thank you for sharing your story. Years ago when we got a Lab named Hershey, I thought I had made the biggest mistake ever. She nipped everybody with those puppy teeth and I was sure I got an aggressive dog. Someone told me that it takes about three years and then it would change and it did. Hershey was such a wonderful dog and it did all work out. I am so sorry about your Chester. He was so young and I am sure he knew how much you loved him. 

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

I am so very sorry Carrie that you lost Chester. But don't feel guilty, because those thoughts are a normal part of puppy madness. Sending out some comforting thought your way.