gator snack . . . UPDATE Part 2!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

************I may not be able to type my hands are shaking so bad.  This is as scared as I ever need to be, there IS NOT enough wine to fix this.  I just took the boys for a nice evening stroll on leash of course and as I was headed back towards my house - a dog - the size of a small pony came running loose from around the side street.  It's owner was hot on it's trail but of course it came charging right up.  I was trying to straddle my boys in a lame attempt to shield them with my legs from the mauling that I was sure was about to start all the while lunging to grab a hold of the monsters collar.  I'm screaming to the lady "get your dog, get your dog".  She got him under control - if you could call it that as the dog is a 120 lb BIG gray thing and she looked like 100 lbs wet.  What kind of dog was that - tall, very tall and very short sleek hair.  Head as big as a humans and fully intact.  Turns out he is a sweetie named Blaze who saw a chance to run and went with it.  Stopped my heart for a few minutes because there would have been nothing I could of done to stop an attack that dog was so big.  Stuart thought this was all great fun, Rooney was just in a daze.  So while we are making introductions - YOU GUESSED IT - HERE CAME THE DAMN GATOR AGAIN.  Does anyone have any spare Valium?  I think I'm just going to bed early and pray I don't have nightmares.  *********

This has been a crappy rough morning.  It started with me waking up around 3:30 concerned over the fact that Rooney hadn't gone poop for over 1.5 days.  Is he still eating - check, acting normal - check - WTD?   I laid in bed pondering why these doodles have so many poop issues.  Both boys can have soft, runny or hard poop - all in one bowel movement.  Stuart will go any where from 4 - 6 times a day and Rooney (usually 1-2).   Drives me nuts I'm here to say.   So now from getting up so early - I'm tired and grumpy.  Add to the fact that the boys will go to daycare today as I have a Dr. appt. and I NEED Rooney to poop for my sanity.  Out we go - but no, it is still dark out so Rooney will not leave the porch, I finally lure him out with a treat just far enough for him to lean over a little mulch and pee.  Stuart once again has the runs - nice.  Back inside to feed the boys but Rooney is looking at me like "I have to go potty" so I postpone breakfast and go back out, just he and I go but all he wanted was to fetch the paper as it was a tad light out.  Back inside - make coffee - Skype dh and tell him Rooney is being an ass cuz he won't poop and now I'm convinced he is doing it on purpose to stress me out.  "Well why would he do that?", DH asks me, "maybe because he can see that I have suitcases out and am packing to leave', I say.  Hmmm - these dogs are too smart for their own good.  Now I am desperate so I put Stuart in his gate and take Rooney's ecollar off and leash up and we stroll up and down the sidewalk till he FINALLY poops.  He smiles at me so sweet while he did it too - hard to stay mad at that cute face.  Back inside to feed both boys.  Ahh maybe the day will get better.  After breakfast I take my cup of coffee and the boys out to my favorite spot, the back yard over looking the lake where I have a little bench.  Peace and quiet, morning calm, the boys playing and they I see IT.  Heading straight for us from across the lake - a gator - a good sized gator.  Cue the music from Jaws!!  He either could see us or hear us or both but he was making a bee line and I'm realizing that we gotta get outta there fast.  Rooney!!  Stuart!!! Let's GO NOW!  Rooney must  have sensed the gator because I didn't have to call him twice - he came running.  As I turn my head I see Stuart, Stuart - omg - was right in the middle of taking a big poop - right there 5 feet from the water.  HURRY HURRY Stuart!  I flung my coffee cup down and quickly got Rooney back on the lanai and ran back to get Stuart praying that he would get done pooping before he became a gator snack.  The gator had stopped about 5 feet from the waters edge and had only his eyes left up out of the water WATCHING my boy.  Snatched Stuart and RAN.  I'd like to start this day over.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

O.K. now that my heart has slowed down - it was a GIANT did I mention GIANT Great Dane

[BG and Gavin]

Geez, my life is a snore!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Seriously I was scared to death!  But about the gator - I called and reported him and because he is showing no fear of humans.  They have called the trapper.  I think that he'll be "relocated" tomorrow.  I can't be afraid to go outside.

[Susan and Sasha]

Jane...

Don't...And I Repeat...Don't Go Outside Again Today!!

Put the boys to bed...safe and sound...

Get yourself a glass...well...maybe two glasses of wine...and have yourself a nice bubble bath to relax!

Take two aspirin...and get yourself into your Very Most Comfy PJ's...

Climb into your bed and either read a great book or watch a funny chick flick...whatever you like best!

Get a Wonderful Nights Sleep...and...

Repeat these words before you fall into a Deep...Restful...Sleep...

This Was All A Dream...This Didn't Really Happen...This Was All A Dream...This Really Didn't Happen...

No Gators...No Poop...No Inappropriate Doctors...No Giant Dogs...This Was All A Dream....This Really Didn't Happen........

 

 

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Susan - thanks for making me laugh.  I've stopped shaking from the Great Dane situation, the gator has been reported and will be trapped and moved tomorrow.  I will not be out by the lake till I know that it is gone.  Sadly I suspect someone might have been feeding it.  Then they lose their fear of humans and that makes them very dangerous.  I'll sleep better once I know that it is GONE.

[Nancie & Gracie Doodle]

Do you get notified when they do relocate the gator?  Or do you just assume they have done it?  I would want a complete report before I would breathe somewhat safely again!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

I am flying to MI this evening but will be here most of today so I might actually see the trapper come but I plan to stay in touch with our security crew so that I'll know for sure.  In the meantime I have told dh "do NOT let the boys out back till we know that it is gone!"

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Jane, when are you supposed to be getting on the plane....you may want to postpone your trip.  This is just about as bad a day as I can think of.  So, I'm really concerned about hearing your "gastro doc" story....mine does make me take off my clothes.  Now I'm very suspicious.  Do you suppose that only horny degenerate docs go into the gastro field?  I have an appointment next week myself, and he better not even suggest that my clothes need to come off....there will be no gown with the ties in the front for me.  If necessary, I'll refer him to your guy...oh wait, maybe that's not a good idea.  As for the big grey pony and the return of the gator....are you sure you weren't "tipping a few"?   Just kidding, of course....I'm sorry that it was such a miserable (and scary) day.  Try to get a good sleep....tomorrow is a new day.

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

I'm am so laughing girl - a person just could not make this up!  But all is well - dh is on a plane flying home, giant Great Dane was a gentle giant, gator will be trapped - they say by tomorrow but we'll see - and the Dr. - well seriously - I could be having a drink with him right now - lol.  Just the most bizarre day I've ever seen.  I feel like Dorothy in Oz!  I'm telling you - full moon.

 

[cheryl & oliver]

OMG Jane, I would have been hysterical with fear.  We live in Florida too, we have been here for 28 yrs now, and we have lived in 4 different house.  People used to think I was nuts not buying a house on the water...And those gators are exactly why we didn't....They terrify me!!!..So glad that the three of you are ok.....Not a good morning, for sure

[Melody & Bruin]

I am having a couple glasses of wine for you!  What a day!!!!

[Phoebe's Mom]

Oh! Jane, will your terrible day never end?  Please go to bed early and hoepfully that 'damn gator' will be off somewhere else not bothering you and your poor doodles.  Sending you positive thoughts for a good night's sleep devoid of nightmares!