New Owner...Need some advice

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

We took the plunge three weeks ago and got an 8 week (now 11 week) golden doodle puppy. 

We are at the stage of OMG what did we do.

With kids at home and one still in diapers, we may have jumped into this too soon. I understand that its a puppy. and after 11 weeks, it will pretty much do anything for treats, but nevertheless I am having some anxiety over what kind of commitment this will be and the toll it will take on our family.

The problem is I am thinking about the negative and not the positive and that alone tells me we may have made the wrong decision.

I have imagined our life without the dog, and I would feel bad but would get over it. With the dog I only worry about what that means for the future, boarding it while on vacation, having friends and family over who are afraid of dogs and don't want to see it, the barking, all the negative stuff.

We always said we wanted a dog but now I am the only one who really thinks, this is too much and maybe theres a family better equipped for this.

I am crazy? Is this just a puppy stage thing? How do we know when we need to cut our losses and move on. 

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

I so want to say that this is just new puppy nervousness and it will pass, but nothing in your post leads me in that direction.  I think I have to agree, that if you have had the puppy for 3 weeks and you can envision rehoming, then I personally have to think that is the right thing to do.  At 3 weeks I was already worrying about the time I would loose them in 15 years and how would I ever deal with that.  They were so far into my heart that I couldn't imagine life without them.  They are a tremendous amount of work and as the Mom, I'm guessing most of that work is going to fall to you, so if you don't have it in you, give the puppy a chance at a life with someone that is going to treasure it forever.  I applaud you for admitting that you might be in over  your head.

[Nancy]

So if I were to give advice to anyone with children about bringing a puppy into the home.  Here is what I would say....Puppies are absolutely adorable, cute and cuddly!  The best commercials are those with puppies and children, running, playing and snuggling with those puppy kisses!  With that being said.......Here is what I believe and I'm sure not all will agree with me but it certainly is something to think about.

If you want to get a puppy, get it before you have children so you DON'T have a  puppy and a toddler, better yet a pre-schooler at the same time.  Maybe that sounds harsh but think how much of a responsibility it is care for children, loving them, keeping them safe and teaching them right from wrong.  Then think about what goes on during a typical day with pre-school children in the home, preparing meals, changing diapers/clothes, playing with toys, cleaning up messes (food, toys and whatever ends up on the floor), housework, errands and most importantly unconditional love.  Then throw a puppy into the picture who needs pretty much needs the same things throughout the day.   Who is going to get the short end of the stick when he or she is chasing the toddler around the house, nipping at the heals and tugging on clothing?  Puppies have very sharp teeth and nip and bite while teething.  That is a behavior that come naturally to them and it takes alot of time and patience to teach a puppy that behavior is not acceptable.  A toddler does not understand that and again who is going to get the short end of the stick when the child keeps getting nipped? 

Most puppies can grow into a great dogs with unconditional love, patience and commitment.  I  personally think bringing a puppy into a home with pre-school children is an accident just waiting to happen.  It is so much more than what is portrayed in those commercials and ads.  Getting a puppy and having it grow up and be part of your family sounds like a great idea......However, timing is crucial when making that decision to add a puppy to your family.  I say this because this is basically my story.  I've had dogs all my life.  When my hubby and I got married we go a Golden Retriever puppy, Kelsey was 4.5 when our first child was born and almost 8 when our 2nd was born.  She was extremely gentle with the children and knew how to get out of the way when she got chased by a toddler.  Unfortunately, she her life was cut short lived due to a undetected condition and she passed before her 9th birthday.  

I was so distraught as a stay at home Mom, that I did the impulsive thing, answered an ad in the local paper and went right out and got a Golden Retriever puppy.  We named him who Asti, never thinking about what consequences I may face bringing a puppy into the home with a toddler.  Everything that I mentioned above happened and long story short, the puppy always got the short end of the stick and shortly after the Asti turned 6 months old, we made the heartbreaking decision but the right decision for both the family and the puppy to turn him over to our local Golden Retriever Rescue Group. 

When my youngest entered school full time, we did some research and brought a cockapoo puppy home and named her Kasey.  We as a family watched her grow, taught her right from wrong and most importantly gave her the same unconditional love that she gave us until we helped her over the Rainbow Bridge at the age of 15.   When my oldest left for college and Kasey was 9 we added our beautiful Oliver to our family.  When we lost our precious Kasey, and our youngest was still in college, we added Princess Ivy to our family. 

Life is good :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Thank you for this post, Nancy. 

[Leslie J]

This is such good advice! Someone gave me the same advice before I got Cocoa... I’m so glad I waited until my youngest (twins) started kindergarten before I got her. Maybe it’s best to rehome this puppy and revisit the possibility of a puppy when your youngest are in school. I think you’ll be relieved!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

I read some of the posts, but decided to give my opinion before being influenced by others'.  First of all, let me tell you that we re-homed out first family dog because I caught her licking my baby's face.  Nowadays, that wouldn't phase me, but then all I could think of were dire thoughts.   We got a dog years later when that baby was 8 and her brother 5.  We added a third child while we still had that dog with no reservations.

My opinion is that you might have bitten off more than you can chew right now.  I think it would be good to return or re-home the pup.  If you go through a rescue, be sure that it is reputable - they fully screen applicants. My preference would be the DRC IF you don't have a contract with your breeder to return the pup.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

What have you decided about your puppy?

[Frank & TeddyToyDoodle]

Yes, curious.  I took it that this was their 1st puppy/dog, and that's always the hardest.  I went through the same exact thing.

I know it's tougher with a family and kids, but if she is able to persevere a few more months, it DOES get alot easier.

[Stella]

Such a difficult decision to make. But I am sure that you did the best thing for your family, as well as the puppy. Hugs to you. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sounds like you found the puppy a good home!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

And down the line you can get a dog again- just at a better time for the family and the dog 

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

You did the right thing. 

[Cathy and Daisy and Harper]

It sounds like puppy is in loving hands.