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I’m looking for advice as to what our family should do with our doodle. I had been noticing Cooper, our 5 month old goldendoodle becoming aggressive. For example, when we would tell him to get off of the couch, go get him off of the couch, he would bark and we wouldn’t think anything of it because it seemed like he thought we were playing. Well he increasingly becoming more aggressive with the snarls/barks. We would put him into a submissive position  he would calm down and would go on like everything was fine. But he is definitely starting a trend on his aggressiveness.  Like you can see a change in his eyes when he does bark/growl at us. He also nips my girls, again we chalked it up to puppy play. He has never growled at us when we’ve fed him but today my 5 year old sat down to pet him while he was chewing on a toy bone and he snarled and growled at her. I told her to leave him alone and then try again later. She again sat down next to him to pet him and he again snarled, growled and lunged at her. I went over and took the toy away and played with him and the toy and he never became aggressive with me. Well not even 5 minutes later my daughter went to sit down, walking passed Cooper and he lunged at her and did nip her. My husband thinks I’m being over dramatic but I feel like maybe he isn’t a good fit for a family with small children. We also have an almost 3 year old. I feel like if I can’t leave the dog and kids in the room together to make sure they don’t bother him when he is eating a treat or chewing on his toy bone then he needs to find another family. (I love this dog and he has brought so much joy to our family but I also have to protect my kids.) We had him fixed to help with the aggression and were told to put him into the submissive positIon whenever he gets too rowdy. Maybe he is just being a puppy but the change in the growls/barks and the look in his eyes just worries me. I don’t want him to harm someone else’s kids either.  If I’m being dramatic of course he will continue being a member of our family but if someone thinks that this is a trend and that he may not be able to be 100% trusted then he will need to be rehomed. The thought of him not being with us leaves me tearful and heartbroken but as a mom of small kids I have to make sure they are safe, right?! . 

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Cooper is a puppy who needs training and to be treated with clear expectations and consistency.  One of my Doodles also started similar behaviors around this age, and it took a lot of work but we were able to change these behaviors so that now I am able to trust him with the grandkids.  I think you have to think seriously about whether you're in a position to get a trainer knowledgeable in dealing with dogs with these types of issues and whether you feel that you can do the work necessary to turn this situation with Cooper around.  There are some things in your post that would clearly have to change.  A dog like this should never be allowed on furniture...especially in a home with young children.  There is a program called "Nothing In Life Is Free". If you Google it you'll find a lot of great information.  Our Murphy growled and tried to bite my husband around this age when he was getting into bed.  That was the last time he was ever allowed on the bed or any furniture.  I had to teach him that he was at the bottom of the family hierarchy and he had to earn everything....his food, toys, affection.  We had a trainer come to our house to work with him around the grand kids, but eventually he learned that he needed to respect them.  Now when they're here he is amazing with them and there are no issues...but I will admit there was a time when I had to have him gated in another room because I couldn't trust him.  We also had to train the children on the things that were his triggers.....we were training them at the same time.  Even now I have to treat Murphy differently than how we treat our other Doodle, but it has enabled us to keep him and give him the life that he deserves.  At five months there's plenty of time for Cooper to learn and change....it will just take a commitment and some work.  I wish you the best of luck because I know what if feels like when you see your puppy behaving this way...it is clearly frightening.  If you decide to pursue training and the Nothing In Life Is Free approach to training I would be happy to help.  It worked for us!

That’s why we don’t let him on the furniture. Yes he is part of our family but our kids come first and he is a dog. We are in communication with a trainer now. We hadn’t been able to get into any of the classes that are in our area. Thank you for the advice. I’m eager to have him evaluated by a trainer and start working with him.

Great news, Jordan.

I think this is great!  Please keep us posted and reach out to me if I can help in any way. 

Jane truly is my training hero.  Her advice (based on personal experience, trial and error)  is well worth looking at again and again.  Getting help with training and learning that the way you respond to unwanted behaviors is key. It takes time and consistency, doable but something hard to come by when you have young children.  Taking away toys and items he wants to guard, and not trusting your children and he to be alone together,  helps you right now.

If you really feel that this particular puppy is not right for your family, there is no shame in re-homing him.  I would contact a reputable doodle rescue like the Doodle Rescue Collective to help you re-home.  They screen every applicant and check references, have meet ups with prospective applicants for compatibility and check out their homes for safety. Here is a link to their re-home app.  http://doodlerescueinc.ning.com/page/rehome-assistance-form

Thank you for that "vote of confidence" Nancy.  Murph is a training challenge every day....but he's so worth it.

❤️

Puppies and children can be tough. Training, training, training. Lots of practice. Personal trainer if possible.

Puppies and young children should never be left alone together.

Give your puppy a place to be alone where he may have a high value toy ( a play pen for dogs) when you cannot supervise him. Keep him on a leash or rope at all times with you holding the leash, not a child.

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