Time for medication for Stew. Need Advice & help please!

[Jess & Stewart]

We had a training session Monday night. Earlier that day, Stew went in crate in the morning, then busted out of it. He scratched at the doors until one unlocked, squeezed out one side, got partially stuck, then crate toppled over him and he managed to get out. Now yet another thing to traumatize him and make the anxiety WORSE!!!!

Trainer said Stew's behavior raises MANY red flags.

1) He  isn't motivated by what dogs are usually motivated by.

2) Unresponsive in general 70% of the time, aloof. Stands or lays down with head down, white of eyes staring up at you, not moving when you try to engage or get him to come to you. He does engage more with other people, but barely regards me. Although he does have periods of excitement, wiggles etc (when finally focused on play, seeing other people & dogs)

3) Guards very odd/weird objects that wouldn't normally be motivating to a dog to guard (vomit, a magnet that falls on the floor etc)

4)Unresponsiveness & guarding has developed in Stew's head as a "game"- what can I get and guard, how long do I need to sit/stay/stand for Jess to give up and not put me in crate, leave me be, not call me etc. 

I don' want to get raked over coals for this but I cried during the session and said all I wanted was a nice dog and I had first pick and why didn't I see that Stew would turn into Cujo and is he not able to be rehabbed and is he really, honestly a weird dog. Am I stuck with this for 10-13 more years where he HATES me and what did I do wrong. That I literally did EVERYTHING right (or I thought) from the beginning). He's not abused or hit, he gets everything he needs etc. 

Then Stew just looked so cute sitting and listening to us that I said "See, you lookso cute, handsome and playful now Stew, why aren';t you like that all the time?" The trainer said "It's good you see the good in Stew". I said 'no offense, but DO YOU?" All I do is stress over him and he doesn't seem to give a s***." Can he really turn around or is this really his behavior" To which he  said "well all dogs are different and Stew is just challenging. Which IMO, was totally not an answer as I'm clearly freaking out about him. 

Then said maybe we need to think of medication and gave me the name of someone, but caveat that the sessions are long, expensive and very clinical. That they aren't as concerned with certain behaviors like he is as the trainer. Then left it, that were not even trying to get him in the crate and will try to manage my apt by just getting it all behind closed doors (my small bathroom) until we figure out a soultion. 

Last night, my mom & I needed to leave and leave him. We left him out of the crate since we didnt want him hurting himself getting out. Shoved tons of stuff in bathroom, barricaded closet. He didnt bark as we left. Came home, the front door had paint scratched off, bedroom door open, closet door tried to open, scratch marks and paint off. 

What the heck can I do before I get meds and/or secure locks on my doors? Thankfully I'm off tomorrow. HELP!

[Rebecca, Kandy & Murphy]

Wow -- that sounds super, super stressful for everyone involved.  I've read your other posts, so I can see how hard you have tried to work with this.  And you are right, he is adorable!  We have a challenging dog too but nothing at all like you do! 

A couple of thoughts that you might want to consider.  I assume you have a good vet who has been involved in this?  Have you asked him/her about anti-anxiety meds?  I'm having trouble seeing why you would need a specialist like your trainer recommended before working with your usual vet.  Of course, you may have already done that, but if you haven't I'd sure start there.  And if you don't like/trust your current vet, I'd fix that ASAP too.  Unless you are in a tiny town with only one option or something.

How much do you like/trust your trainer?  Seems like he has said he doesn't get it / can't fix it / doesn't understand several times in your posts.  Might it make sense to get a second opinion or find a trainer with a different approach?  I know in our city there are a probably hundreds of options and they vary in their approach and philosophy greatly.  Seems like your current trainer has given up, so maybe the trainer is more of a problem than the dog?

Finally, you can't stay home with him all the time, obviously.  So you need a solution to keep him (and your stuff) safe while you are working all of this out.  Seems like crate is out so can you make your bedroom Stew-proof?  I know its a rented apartment, and that might make some things impossible.  But maybe approach this like you would if he were a toddler?  I know we consider ours to be toddlers with big teeth!  Maybe high slide locks on closet and outside bedroom door?  Some sort of covering on the door to protect it?  Or let it go and resign yourself to buying new doors before you leave apartment.  There are lots of devises at the hardware store for stopping curious toddlers that maybe would be good options for you. 

I know that constant doggie day care would be out of our budget (and one of our dogs wouldn't pass the temperament test), but maybe that could help you?  Could you board him for a day just to give yourself a break?  Or even send him to "training camp" for a week?  I know there are several in my city.  Crazy expensive though, so I'm not sure of your resources.

And last, hang in there and keep trying new things!

[Jess & Stewart]

I had them install closures on my closet door & they are coming to install slide locks on my bedroom doors. They're French doors & just push open.

Stew was really amazing today-he let my mom, who is helping me move, go in & out, outside the building etc and he didn't make a peep. I also just left to go grocery shopping & he didn't even notice I left. I came home & he was laying in the hallway.

I know he has it in him to either tolerate/love his crate or to get a routine where he's fine being left. Just need to figure out what works! He's really good otherwise. The guarding has basically stopped & we're very slowly reintroducing toys/kongs etc to him.

I have a dog walker now & am trying to find a daycare maybe 1x a week he can go to. The main trouble is that I don't own a car & you can't take a dog on transit in Philly. A lot of places are too far to walk (20+ blocks to drop off & pick up). I may try to find a place with pick up/drop off services, although that's not heard of much in the city. Stew acts a little differently when we are at other family members houses, still anxious but not as bad as episodes at my apartment. He's also around more people & gets room to run outside so that all helps. We'll see if moving to the new apartment changes his thinking-I'm hoping it does!

[Nancy and Georgia Brown]

So sorry to hear what you are going through. 

My gut tells me his personality and your lifestyle/or living situation don't gel. It's not a right or wrong situation. We all want to think we can train our dogs to fit our needs. Some of that is true but sometimes it's just not a good fit.

Has he spend an extended time outside of your apartment, and is there a difference in his behavior?

[Jess & Stewart]

He's been boarded and done daycare. He's great there, although I suspect he still shows some anxiety over being alone. I think he's gotten SO used to being just the only dog & it's mostly just us.

At my dad's & others houses, he is really good, still slightly anxious if people leave but not as bad as some of the episodes at my apartment. We got through puppyhood, me going back to work, I think we'll get through this.

Everyone I know keeps telling it's karma because I'm the "aloof, weird Aspie" and OF COURSE all I want is to be like everyone else with nice behaved dogs but I'm not like everyone else so Stew's exactly my type of dog. Rather than a super friendly, active dog that if struggle to keep up with because I like to read & running (short Achilles' tendon) is painful, LOL.

[Nancy and Georgia Brown]

Most boarding facilities still have crates or pens that dogs have to spend time in and if he has developed anxiety around that issue boarding would not show you that much of a different profile.

I would be curious if you have taken him to a place where there is a house, or nature, or a dog park where he can run free.

Also does his daily routine include the ability to run and burn off energy?
I take my dog to a local dog park every morning. I think my dog would go crazy if she didn't get daily access to the dog park. It's truely the highlight of her day and she plays with her friends and wrestles and gets to be a carefree dog. We've both made so many friends. I think her social calendar may be more active than mine. People text me to find out when she is coming.
I know others that poo poo dog parks. It truely depends on the dog and the dog park.

[Jess & Stewart]

Yes the boarding facility I use has large pens. They are concrete on the sides but the front is like a wire crate, like a personal bedroom in one large room of the facility.

We are in south jersey almost every weekend. My dad has a large house and 3 acres. We have 1/2 acre fenced in that stew gets to run, roll around, play to his heart's content. He is very good there but it could be in addition to the off leash play, that it is s different environment & my dad is there.

We go for long walks in the morning, about an hour with a stop in the park and we play fetch on a long line a few mornings a week. Some days he's more interested than others. Some days we just do fetch inside. The dog walker walks Stew with 2 other dogs about 3x a week. She takes them to a large fenced in lot, that is actually a members only dog park. It is a bit farther into west philly than I like to venture so I haven't become a member. I'd rather walk 20 blocks to the very nice dog park on he river in philly on a Saturday and make a morning out of it. He is always very good at the large dog park. Goes in both small and large sides. Is usually more interested in the people but once he finds a 'buddy', he goes nuts.

[Stella]

I think you need to find a canine behaviourist rather than a trainer. He has issues that go beyond traditional obedience training. A few sessions with a behaviourist would be well worth the money. I have a doodle that is on anti-anxiety medication. But for me, it was a last resort after I had tried pretty much everything else.

[Jess & Stewart]

Yes, that is who my trainer referred me to. The trainer was actually recommended to me after a long phone conversation with the behaviorist at Penn Vet. This was during the scary ER visit that Stew needed a large chunk of his leash taken from his stomach with a scope down his throat. I am an employee of Penn and was really freaking out and had actually emailed the behaviorist a few days before and she called me when I was sitting in the ER.

I would be using Penn Vet however the appts are 4 hours long, very expensive even with discount and they only offer them smack in the middle of the day on M,T,W. The behaviorist my trainer recommended does in home consultations, which are really great for me.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Jess, I really want to be supportive and helpful, but I'm now thinking the best thing you could possibly do for Stew is to help him to find a home where there will be someone there most of the time...preferably someone with experience in training dogs and helping dogs deal with anxiety.  Medicating him without working on the underlying problem is just a "quick fix".  I think there are lots of reasons why he has such extreme separation anxiety, but I'm just not sure you have the time or expertise to work him through this.  Every time he has one of these episodes it is reinforcing his fear and I truly worry about what this is doing to him long term.  I'm sorry...I know this is probably not what you want to hear, but I'm really worried about Stew.

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Jess -- I totally agree with Jane.  If you aren't familiar with Jane, she has worked tirelessly with a trainer for her Murphy for years.  She has taken a totally reactive, troubled dog and brought him to a point where they can all exist in their home environment.  Murphy had many issues and Jane sought out the best trainers out there and spent thousands of dollars to get to this point.  If she is suggesting this, I totally respect what she is saying.

[Jess & Stewart]

We talked about medication to facilitate the training sessions and my training with him, since we don't want him to have any more major episodes and be so keyed up. Basically take him back to square one with him desensitized with the mess and work from there.

Stew was wonderful today, even better tonight with me. Came when I asked, even ran to me when I got the harness out. I played tug & fetch in between doing commands and he was totally engaged for 30 minutes. Ran up and down my apt hallway, fetching, bringing the balls right back to me, not dropping it before getting to me. He never once laid down with the balls or the rope toys. I was wary about tug but we went through how to play it specifically for stew to understand that I won't ever let go and that he needs to let go before I tell him he can take it again. Afterwards, I gave him his food in his crate and he went right in.

[Jess & Stewart]

Sorry Jane, I hit reply but to the post below yours.

I really have hope that we can get back to the normal of 2 weeks ago somehow.

I should caveat all the my posts with "I'm probably overreacting". Stew isn't completely disengaged all the time-he doesn't obey right away & respond right away certain times. I think it's more that he is the alpha & need to get him to respect me, know that he doesn't need to keyed up & can just relax and be a dog. I'm reinforcing the basic commands, sitting at doorways, little things that end up adding up, that I've been lax on.

I do now have locks on my closet doors and will be getting locks on my bedroom door on Monday. I think that may make the difference. Now that I'm in a new apartment, Stew will know the rules have changed. Or I'll let him in the bedroom as he really loves my bed and he just won't be able to get into the closet.