Too Many Depressing Discussions--today's antidote

[F, Calla & Luca]

Sorry for you young'uns but I liked this. I am grateful my phone does not say "recalculating.

"Should I Really Join Facebook?

A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the 30-year business I ran with1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead... well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot." 

P.S. I know some of you are not over 50. I sent it to you to allow you to forward it to those who are. 

We senior citizens don't need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle."

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Not quite 39 :)

[F, Calla & Luca]

I'm kind, Donna may think you fib, I think you are delusional : )

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Whatever Laurie - nose is getting long.

[Donna K & Quincy]

 Thanks for the laugh, even if it does strike close to home. My favorite line is "I am bi-sacksual". I don't text or tweet, I rarely FB, I don't know how to play a DVD on our Blue Ray player. The surround sound drives me bonkers, I do not need the dishes to rattle when someone is watching a movie and it makes me keep checking over my shoulder to see where those strange noises are coming from. I hardly know how to get the gas in my car anymore and avoid gas stations with those space age looking pumps. I've only recently started buying anything on line, I resisted as long as I could. I still do not do my banking on line, I am way too paranoid.

@Karen, get a mouse for your laptop, I always use one. I really didn't like my laptop unti I got that mouse.

@ Laurie, You remind me of someone, who is it, I know it's Pinocchio. If you're not careful you could end up looking like this.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I hate surround sound for the same sorts of reasons. I buy almost everything on line up to and including toilets, I kid you not. I often wonder if there are still stores. I have an Apple laptop I run on windows. I have disables all the multitouch features and I'm now happy withthe touchpad because I never could master a mouse, I used a scroll ball deal. I guess we all have our quirks.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I am not privy to surround sound but it sounds like I would hate it. I use to be on Facebook, didn't post too much I thought until some jerks cousins asked me if we do anything without my dog...then I found DK and FB is a distant memory. I do check once in a while so I can say things like - geeze, get a life, don't you do anything without those kids, wait till you can enjoy life with a dog instead...and finally I do not like Laptops - I sit at a desk and use a keyboard and a mouse.

I do so want a Kindle Fire though. That will be my next ON LINE purchase. I haven't bought from any store except groceries in ages.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Donna, I always love your visual aids :) I just figured out how to turn our TV on and off with this stupid Cable remote. In the past, if I hit the wrong button, I just had to wait until someone came home.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I always love when I use the wrong device and dial the remote or change channels with the phone, or try to anyway.

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

LOL

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Ha ha - I can't believe you posted this...I just posted her nose was getting long!

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

LMAO!!!!  I'm not far behind.  I just refuse to try to keep up any longer.  I have the original IPOD laying in my night stand - un-used for 4 years now.  My Nook e reader - used it - didn't like it.  So no more for me.  I'm too old, it doesn't make life easier just more frustrating.  I don't even like to talk on the phone.  Plus the costs for all this stuff is crazy!!!  I'm opting out of the technology!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

A girl after my own heart! Maybe we need an Opt Out of Technology Group.