Visiting My Parents, They Don't Like Dogs...

[Camilla and Darwin]

I have a problem. My parents have never been big animal fans, but inside dogs are a BIG no no at there house. We live fairly close (about an hour away) and sometimes when we go, they want us to stay for a long time, even overnight.

Darwin is an indoor dog, and they know that. They always make suggestions like "Why don't you tie him up in the backyard (because it's not fenced in) or "Can't you just put him in the garage?" (It's basically a chemical and tool death-trap for dogs) I always make sure he is clean, and he has great house manners but I don't want to push them. Recently, I asked them if he could come be in the house, but only in the kitchen area, on a leash tied to the doorknob. They allowed it, but were hesitant and my dad made comments about building a heated doghouse outside.

I would love it if they would accept letting him be in the house, of course near me so I can watch him. I don't want to cause problems... but it is a really big hassle to have to put him in doggy daycare or board him every time we stay for longer than six hours. I don't want to just tie him up in the backyard, especially when it is muddy and snowy outside. Also, my parents live in a rural neighborhood where there are a TON of unleashed, wandering dogs which may or may not be vaccinated and friendly. I don't feel it's safe for him to be back there for long periods of time, without the yard being fenced in.

Any advice? Should I just keep boarding him, or should I try and get them to accept him being in the house? How should I approach this?

[F, Calla & Luca]

What a nice offer!

[Dan, Judi, & Timbow]

Can you leave him with your in-laws?

[Nina, Phil, Harlow & Lacey]

Just my 2 cents... If your parents want an extended visit with you and they will not accept a dog in their house, then they should come visit you.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Camilla, Thanks for explaining why the extended and overnight trip. Sometimes we don't have a choice. Family traditions are special to maintain and enjoy. Perhaps, if nothing else you don't take him for this or other times it might really not be appropriate - like non dog places or activities. But for other visits either make them shorter or take him - their choice. We have an RV and take our dogs everywhere, but we had to make two visits to Tucson this year and it just wasn't feasible to take them. We missed them terribly but our best option was to have my daughter stay with them while we were gone. If you have to board him, perhaps you could find a place in your parents town so that you could visit him.

[Camilla and Darwin]

I agree it would be a great Christmas present! I really don't mind boarding him for things like trips or non-appropriate activities. I just hope someday he can join in the family traditions I care about so much. I think I am going to talk to them this week and see what they say about it. Thanks for all the responses, they have been really helpful.

Azure&Muppet, Darwin sure had a fun time with Muppet too! Thanks for the offer, thats really nice. Hopefully I can work out some kind of compromise with my parents, this will be the best long term solution...

[shelly]

Christmas IS a family time where traditions are treasured, and coming from someone who's parents STILL keep to tradition.... I'm 47 years old and married almost 26 years, and we ALWAYS spend Christmas Eve with my family. My husband's family never really did anything on the Eve, so this wasn't an issue, and they do come to my parents, but for the day.... that's when the issues come up. (Even to this day). When we were little, we got to open only one present on the EVE and it was always matching Christmas pjs - for all 5 of us kids, my mom and dad. NOW this tradition of ours has spread to include all of our husbands, and children - all 23 of us I know how torn you feel - you want both the "old" and "new" to mesh together, and they WILL. It just will take some discussion. Good luck and enjoy the Christmas season!!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Two presents - pjs and a toygame/project gift! We always celebrated Christmas Eve with my husband's family (Norwegian traditions) but since they weren't very "Christmasy" and a little boring (oops, did I say that?), our kids always got the pjs - so they would look great in Christmas morning photos - that was especially important as they became teen-agers and young adults; and a toy, project or game that would amuse all of us. This did have to evolve (created by us over the years) into a wonderful family tradition to include a buffet, carols, making a gingerbread house, Santa knocking on the door, but it took time. Now that my husband's parents and sister are gone, we have developed new Christmas Eve traditions - it is never to late to change. I hope you can begin evolving from your set-in-concrete family traditions to new ones that can include Darwin.

[Jennifer Tramell]

We used to travel and visit various aunts/uncles/cousins who loved dogs but they were outside dogs. They all grew up on a farm and dogs were working animals on the farm. Most of the day was spent with the dog trotting at their heels as they did the various farm chores. These dogs were well cared for and very happy but they stayed outside. When we would visit, we would take a long rope/chain/leash and tie our dog outside during the day and he would sleep in the van at night. Our dogs never had any problem with this, the van was more familiar to them then if they were in somebody's strange house. I always felt sorry for the dog, but our dog didn't mind :-)
I love my dog but (and I'm ready to be flamed), there is a difference between dogs and people. As crazy as some people seem in their feelings towards dogs, it is most important to respect and maintain a relationship with family. I like my dog to be a part of my experiences (including holidays) but that is for my benefit, not the dogs. I hope everything works out but don't let this ruin your holiday with your family.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I totally understand that people who grew up on farms would have the mindset that dogs belong outdoors; dogs on farms have lots to do and lots of human company throughout the day. And there are barns and other shelter for them.
What baffles me is thinking that dogs belong in suburban or urban backyards.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Then again there are people who have hissing cockroaches as pets. Chacun a son gout.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Now, there's a real head-scratcher...voluntarily having cockroaches inside your home while dogs are left outdoors!
It's not the choice of pet that bothers me; it's the treatment of said pets. Regardless of what dirt or germ issues someone may have, there is a collective body of knowledge about what living conditions are best for pet dogs. ( Farm dogs, hunting dogs, or certain other working dogs may do better with outdoor living conditions. Interesting to remember that police K9s live with their handlers inside their homes, though.) I don't think there's much debate about the fact that dogs are social animals who thrive in packs and do poorly in isolation. People normally have pets in order to spend time with them and have a mutually beneficial relationship with them. If someone doesn't like being with dogs, they shouldn't have a dog. No dog has ever forced himself on an owner, to my knowledge. To get one as a lawn ornament is simply cruel.

[F, Calla & Luca]

I really do agree. Just saying it's hard to figure people out.