WANTED: BODYGUARD TO PUT MY BROTHER IN HIS PLACE!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Hi Everybody, Fudge here and I have a big problem. The big problem's name is Vern and he weighs 91 pounds. I am getting sick and tired of him pouncing on me every chance he gets.  When mom tells us to get in the van or dad's car, Vern always jumps in first and guards the doorway. 

My mom says, "Fudge, hurry up and get in the van," but, I know when I do Vern is going to tackle me. So, someone always has to come around to the door and make Vern move to let me in, but then they close the door and sure enough, Vern starts trying to wrestle with me. He is really getting on my nerves and I think he is a big turkey.

Lately, when we get let out into the yard to do our business, Vern pushes right out in front of me and then, you guessed it, he turns around and tries to swing me around by my collar.  Sure, he gets in trouble, but he never seems to care. Something has to be done soon.

When my human sister was home the other weekend, she tried to give me some hugs and cuddles and Vern tried to horn in on the action. I got mad and tried to scare him, but he thought I wanted to show our sister how we wrestle.

Well, today is the day I am going to do something about Vern and I hope someone can help me. Just ask yourself if you would like to see this running full speed at you.

Also, I know everyone thinks Vern is so cute, but he is double my size.

So, here is what I am looking for in the way of a bodyguard.

Bodyguard must be willing to live on the premises, escort me to the car, stop Vern from plowing into to me when my humans are trying to give me some hugs and kisses, and most of all stop this behavior:

Thank you for your help! Love, Fudge

[F, Calla & Luca]

Please stop spiking you juice.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Yes, Karen that pronunciation is PERFECT because as you know it is nearly impossible to find a word that rhymes with it. This will keep the troublemakers limerick writers from getting into mischief!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 I was waiting for you to field this one :)

[BG and Gavin]

Hi Fudge, it's Gavin.  I am not scary enough to be a body guard, but I have a plan!  A plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it!  So, I love to play and I thought I could volunteer my services to you to play with Vern, thus distracting him from you.  You would then be able to do everything you want while I keep Vern out of your hair.  Its a win-win-win from what I can tell!  My mom says she dosen't want us sniffing  each others junk though.  But, whatever.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Gavin, This plan might work better than a bodyguard. Hurry up, and catch the next plane to PA.  I'll be waiting. Love, Fudge

[Christine & Camus]

Camus here, sorry I can't add anything being that I am an only-doodle, but come guys keep on going I 'm enjoying the repartee!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Camus!!

[Traci -Bexter & Maggie]

Awww...Poor Fudge!  I was a little nervous about seeing the last picture, but I see it is rated G...Although I have to wonder if he goes a little farther than that...I know Bexter has humped Maggie a few times, but we stop it immediately.  Very embarrassing (especially when a cute family walked past our backyard the other day & they were all pointing, smiling, & admiring our doodles) - and then Bexter decided to give them a show.  I was MORTIFIED and stopped him immediately.  The mom already had turned her young kids & were walking on...Brothers are so disgusting!  Maybe Fudge needs a water bottle to squirt him with!  I love the pictures!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

LOL to the Bexter show :) They do know how to get us, don't they?? Fudge says she is going to buy "Dog Halt." LOL

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

Hi Fudge, Sasha here.  I know exactly what you are talking about, my younger brother Oliver is such a Knucklehead.  I too go thru the exact same things you go thru, Ollie is almost 80 lbs and just pushes me around.  I do fight back but I am a  lot smaller than him weighing in at 45-50 lbs.  I do have some advantages over him, I have lightening speed and of course I am much more smarter than him !!!  When Mommy is giving me some specail  "mommy & me" time he alsways has to push his way in and get between us - arrrggghh.  Mom scolds him and tells him to wait his turn but most of the time he does not have his listening ears on.  I alwasy patiently wait my turn like a good girl, Mom calls Ollie a "bull in the china chop" I don't know what that means but he is kind of bullish.  At times I just like to lay on the couch a look pretty and get my beauty rest... but the knucklehead has to come along, grab my leg, pull me off the couch and say lets play - geeezzz he can just ask and I would probably say OK - does he always have to be so physical !!!.

 

I too need a body guard, Mom does a great job keeping him from bothering me all the time, he just constantly wants to play which I love playing but not 24-7 !!!  Us girls have to stick together, there is strength in numbers but sometimes BIG, little brothers are such a pain in the butt !!!!

 

If you have any tips you can share with me please do so, it would be greatly appreciated.  The only thing that seems to work for me is if I growl at him enough and tell him to back off, most of the time he listens and respects my space.  Oh, one other thing does Vern steal EVERYTHING you try to pick up or play with ????  Mom buys two of everything, they are the exact color, size, taste but as soon as she gives me my treat/toy and then she gives the knuclehead his, he drops his and comes over to my and takes my treat/toy... now that really gets me mad!!!  Mom then puts him outside and gives me some time to enjoy my treat -hehehehe.  Please let me know how you make out finding a body guard, I may have to invest in one as well.  Love Sasha

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Sasha, Your story sounds exactly like mine. Vern is a big ol' knucklehead, too. He always wants any toy or bone I have and I have to take it far away from him or he bugs me. Luckily, I outsmart him all the time and my mom just wrote a blog about Vern being a "bull in the china shop." Maybe your mom wants Vern. Let me know. Your friend, Fudge