We have learned to disagree!!

[AndySharon BoomerShaynaMariner]

 

There was a recent discussion that brought out some strong opinions  and although not everyone had the same opinion the discussion was civil and friendly. 

 Unfortunately the person who started the discussion did not like some of what was discussed, so she decided to leave DK and strip her comments out of the discussion. ****UPDATE - AS OF 10 am EST the whole discussion has been removed****

 

There are times that we don't all agree and that is OK - I respect all of the DK family and try to treat all with the same respect that I would like from them.

 

We all come here as a community, to share and help each other.  There are "hot" issues about our Doodles and a healthy and lively discussion follows.  We can each learn from one another.

 

I encourage everyone to voice their opinions.

 

 

[Becka]

Excellent point, Carol. The non-verbal aspects of communication are crucial, and it can be very challenging to remain level-headed when the discussion revolves around something as precious as our doodles. For me, it's important to take a deep breath and remember that i can sometimes project emotions onto messages that aren't there. I try (not always successfully, of course) to read every message as neutral in tone.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Truly an excellent point. I feel as if I know some of the more active members quite well though I've only known them on line.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

You said this just perfectly. I remember my first post about Life's Abundance and one about Apple Cider Vinegar...WOWZA :) Now, when I see someone else ask, I think to myself, "oh boy." Plus, some of these members have answered those same questions 100's of time and taken time out of their life to put it down in a discussion yet again to help someone.  I have learned so much on this site and benefited from both of those questions. If you are going to ask, you have to be prepared for the answer and you are right, those same people have had my back many times. Frankly, I like hearing all the opinions that make DK so interesting.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

I think you brought up a good point inadvertently here, Laurie.

If I started a discussion and said "I use XYZ product, what is your opinion of it?" and someone responded by saying "XYZ product is terrible, you shouldn't use it.", to me, it would be clear that the responder is criticizing XYZ product and is NOT attacking me. Nothing has been said about me at all, and I would not be offended in any way. In fact, depending upon the reasons the person gave as to why XYZ product is terrible, I might be grateful for the information.  

But I have a sister who takes offense easily and is always looking for an insult in anything anyone says to her. She would probably feel that the responder was saying that she is an idiot for using XYZ product, that she has made a bad choice and therefore is a bad doodle mom who must not love her dog. She would then become angry and defensive and accuse the person of attacking her.

Some people become very defensive when their choices are questioned, even when they themselves asked for advice as to whether it was a good choice or not. It is a quality in people that I have never understood. Not liking my choices doesn't mean you don't like me.

I think that just as it is important to try to phrase things in a polite and neutral way, it is equally important to take things at face value and try not to read insults or implications into people's opinions.

I think there are very few people here who deliberately try to be rude or offensive when they reply to a question or give an opinion. There would just be no reason to do that. I think most of us are trying to be helpful, and most advice should be taken that way. It saves you a lot of stress and keeps your blood pressure lower, lol.  

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

Amen.

[Carol and Banjo]

Could your sister possibly be related to one of my daughters??   LOL....I walk on egg shells...measuring my words, tone.....somehow I always manage to say it wrong!    I've learned to live with it.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

"Walking on eggshells" is a way of life for everyone who has to deal with my sister, lol. I know exactly how you feel.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I second F's amen :)