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Hi Everyone :)  So weird question and wondering if you have any ideas on how to deal with this.  My Australian Labradoodle Lani is scared of my husband!  It's actually very funny.  He tries to pick her up, she pees.  He holds a treat in his hand and says "Lani, come" and she runs the other way.  We can't figure out why she is so scared of him.  Me on the other hand, she is so loving with, follows me everywhere.  With everyone else she's very friendly, even strangers, but for some odd reason she is scared of my husband.  Any ideas on how they can become friends?

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We went through this when we adopted Ollie.  He wouldn't go near my husband and would bark and run if he even heard my husband speak.  Try having your husband speak softly when he is talking to her and don't force her to be close to him.  Let her do it on her own terms.  Have your husband sit on the floor and toss treats over in Lani's direction while not even looking at her.  He can gradually throw the treats down closer and closer to him and she should start taking them eventually, but it may take time depending on how scared she is.  Once Lani will take treats on the floor from your husband, have him offer her some treats with an open hand but don't try to pet her or anything, just let her take the treats.  She should come around. 

 

Ollie is still afraid of my brother (we can't figure out why because Cubbie LOVES my brother) and I was just talking to our trainer about this yesterday.  He told me to have my brother take Ollie on a walk around the block alone, just the 2 of them.  I haven't tried it yet, so I don't know if it will work, but I have my fingers crossed!

Your husband should hand feed all of Lani's food to her.  She doesn't get to eat unless it comes out of your husband's hand.  I would also tether Lani to your husband when he is home.  Where he goes, so goes Lani.  This will help with the bonding process between them.  Initially, your husband should not make a big fuss over her or try to physically handle her too much (don't pick her up).  It might be just too overwhelming.  Have him just randomly reach down and hand her a treat.   Over a couple of days, he can graduate to petting her calmly.  After a week or so of tethering and treats and eating food out of his hand, perhaps he can graduate to picking her up but understand that picking a dog up puts it in a very submissive and compromised position.  It can be too much for some dogs, especially small dogs.  A better course of action is to sit on the floor and encourage the puppy to climb in your lap.  If the puppy is leashed, it can't run away.  Just take it in baby steps.

 


Thanks :)  I will def try some of these tips.

How old is Lani? Is she a rescue?

 

I adopted 2 3 month old kittens 7 1/2 years ago. They are siblings,and most likely had the same experiences on the street. One was terrified of men for years. it took her a whole year to go anywhere near my ex. When i moved house she hid IN the duvet cover for several weeks. She is still a little timid but much better.

 

There may not be a reason as to why shes scared of men, in particular, your husband. Just give it some time, and i agree with your husband being the one to feed Lani

I also recommend, in addition to hand feeding, having your husband take Lani on walks. Walks can be a big bonding experience.  My husband and I trade off taking the dogs on walks.  We trade off feeding them, training them, etc...we do not operate our household by dividing chores down the middle (for some, mom is mostly in charge of cooking, dad is in charge of dishes, trash and dogs, etc..you get point).  We vary our "chores" up daily, so if DH feeds the doggers in the morning, I feed them at night.  I make them sit and wait for their food. DH does the EXACT same thing.  I feed them their meds one night, DH does the next night. I think this mindset might help you change Lani's mindset....does that make sense?
I spoke to my husband and will def try your suggestions so let's hope for the best :) P.S. Lani came from a breeder she wasn't a rescue

I've had 2 dogs that were afraid of people, actually one was my son's dog and she was afraid of everyone except him as a puppy and then my Camus who was afraid of all people as well.  I worked with both of them, but using different techniques since Tala was a puppy and Camus was 12 months.  With Tala I had to go very slowly and since I puppy sat a lot I had the time.  It started with sliding treats to her, not tossing just sliding them on the floor.  And, of course, I fed and walked her.  Little by little she learned that I had food and treats for her and would take her for walks.  I became her best friend, she accepted me as part of her pack.  But -- she still feared all others, my son and I were the only ones she would let touch her.  So when Camus was exhibiting similar behavior I tried something a bit different.  He went to work with me every day (and still does) and in the beginning he would run away and hide if anyone came near him.  So I enlisted the help of a few of the researchers.  They would come into my office and he would dive under the desk.  I got him out and had him sit with me kneeling down next to him reassuring him, then Marc or one of the other "therapists" would come over and touch him under his chin (he also did not want anyone to touch his head), give him a treat and talk to him like you would talk to a baby, soft and sweet.  In time he became friends with all of them and he has improved to the point of being a very normal dog, just a bit hand shy at times.  He even goes to their offices to say hello.  I really believe he would not have done so well if I had not insisted he let them touch him.  This is what worked for us, maybe it would work for you as well.

I think Lani's age is a big part of the question.  All of my dogs have a different bond with my husband, I think it is because I did all the training and I'm with them more.  They aren't as affectionate, don't follow him around, etc. 

 It's possible that Lani isn't "afraid" of your husband, she just doesn't know what position he has in "the pack".  I would have him do a little basic training - things that Lani already knows, I'd start on sits and downs, then move to come.  Lots of praise and affirmation when she does good.  Personally, I wouldn't have your DH coax her TOO much, but rather lead her in a kind but firm manner.  

My Charlotte is now 16 months old.  She loves my husband but still gets this nervous little girl attitude when he is with her.  When he praises her, she is SO HAPPY, he sings to her and she starts spinning around (he sings "Charlotte....Charlotte baby...it's pretty funny).  The peeing could be because she's so excited that he's giving her attention.  We had a "squirter" and we solved that by teaching him to greet with a sitting handshake. 

My girl dogs have a different relationship with my husband, I think they are more sensitive and recognize the girl/guy thing.  It's kind of funny but sweet once it's all sorted out.

Hi Jennifer :)  That's interesting.  I didn't even think the peeing could be cause she's excited he's paying attention to her or that she doesn't know where he fits into in the "pack".  Thank you for those suggestions because if that's what it is I can more understand where she's coming from.  Thanks.

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