Would you get a 5mo who seemed a bit skittish?

[Discussing Labradoodles & Goldendoodles]

Yesterday we met the 5 month old puppy we've been talking to a breeder about for a couple weeks, who would potentially come home with us on Monday. She is beautiful, so so soft, energetic but not too much, and showed absolutely no aggressive tendencies. She's been living with the breeder (and her mom and 6 other mostly adult doodles) since birth in a great dog environment on several acres of land, except for 2 weeks a month ago when she went to live with a guardian home family who ended up not being able to keep her due to a family emergency. This breeder normally places her breeding dogs in guardian homes at about 4 months. She's been well-socialized, but she did seem just a little skittish with us, especially when we first got there. The (very reputable) breeder seemed really surprised by it, actually, and said it was a brand new behavior. She wondered if she had maybe just entered a new fear stage, and wants to look into it more this week and see if she can figure it out.

So how much would this concern you? Enough not to go through with it? When she did let me hold her she was very snuggly and calm, not trying to get away or anything, but when she just wandering around I tried to approach her a couple times and she ran away or backed into a corner when I reached my hand out. There were a lot of other energetic dogs around, so it was a bit chaotic... it was hard to get a sense for HER, exactly.

If this is a fear stage, will she likely be able to work through it? Would moving to live with a new family right now potentially scar her in some way that would make this a permanent issue for her? It doesn't seem like it's her personality-- the breeder says she's normally the first one to run and greet people.

What questions would you ask the breeder?

I'm also kind of worried it's us :/ Is it possible she just doesn't like us?? I'm not very experienced with dogs... maybe I won't be very good at it? Now I've lost some confidence...

Here she is a month or two ago:

[Stephanie and Ragley]

It is definitely something you can work through with ample training. It could be that she is just not used to being around new people. I think you should be prepared to have a dog who is a little nervous to meet people her whole life ,though, just in case. Ragley loves meeting new people, but she can be a little "hand shy" at times. Some of it will be training to improve her confidence, but some of it may be a temperament thing.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Dogs do go through fear stages at different ages and you can read about it. I very much doubt it is about you, especially since she let you hold her. She must be a good pup in many ways if the breeder thought of breeding her. Calla's breeder thought of breeding her. When she came to me at 17 weeks she bonded to me immediately but she was a little shy meeting and greeting when we were out. That stopped long ago.

[Barbara B., Sasha & Oliver]

My Sasha is a bit skidish and she is 4 1/2.  Once she can sniff around you and sum you up then she is friendly.  But at times she does not let people pet her, she just backs away.  I think its just part of who she is, there is never any aggression or anything like that I would just say she is cautious :)     Maybe you can go back and spend more time with your potential puppy?  I would address your concerns with the breeder.  Could you have a sleepover to see how things would go???

[Marie and Hoka]

I'd see how the rest of her behavior is. It may be a little common sense for a puppy to let the big or more energetic dogs greet you first.

My little terrier rescue has a little behavior like this. She still does it after more than 2 years. She is a HUGE snuggle bug, but will always kind of dance backward away from us when we come to pick her up or pet her, if we back up, she will then come forward. She is for sure not afraid of us... This is just something she does. She likes to be the one to approach you. If you sit down, she will come jump up on your lap for a snuggle.

I'd look more for aggression or guarding. If she relaxed and snuggled in your arms, that is a great sign.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Good luck, she is just gorgeous!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

You are not going to know her true personality with a sleepover.  New environments, people can be strange and stressful. They need more time than that to settle in to your family and you would need more time to slowly socialize the dog to people and noises etc.  And most likely that is all that needs to happen.  Every dog has their own unique personality and quirks, and though we wish they could all be perfect, that is not reality.  What you really need to decide is whether you are in love with this pup and if she stays shy, could she still fit into your lifestyle.  We go lots of places and our dogs need to roll with the punches.  That being said, one of our dogs has been anxious since we got him as a young pup.  We didn't realize how severe it was because 1) we were naive, and 2) our other dog took Gordie under his wing and nurtured him.  Once that dog passed, Gordie gradually increased his anxiety levels.  Are we happy about it?  NO NO NO  We just adjust our lives to accommodate his needs.  Can you do that if this pup stays timid - or should I say would you?

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Good for you!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

The fact that she let you hold her and snuggle is a good sign.  I don't think it's you. It's tough to make a judgement based on one meeting.  She's not a small pup so she may have entered a fear stage or having been away at a guardian home for two weeks she might be a bit wary of being taken away again.  I swear, these doodles have amazing memories and a sixth sense:)  I think you should expect that there will be some period of adjustment -especially since she's had so many playmates-- but if she's well bred and has a good basic temperament, you're off to a good start. Training, love and continued socialization are a "must" with all doodles.   Finn loves people but he can be reserved with strangers until he gets to know you.  Then there's no shortage of kisses. He's a good therapy dog -- always loving with kids and the elderly --but he will sometimes back off--especially if a loud adult (usually a self-professed dog person) approaches him quickly, head on, and reaches out.  But that's something that makes many adult dogs wary. I never anticipated how tightly he would bond or how stressed he would be when separated from me but they all have their quirks.    

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

When we got Ned, we did turn down an option for one of two  4 month old, beautiful pups that had been returned.  Both were very fearful and wouldn't approach either us or our dogs.  I do think if we had chosen one of them, they would have settled in and been good dogs, but we would have needed to work harder at it.  AND we had little Nedderbudder to choose from - and he was irresistible.

[Sue, Murphy and Bella ()*o*()]

Our Murphy has always been an anxious type dog. Had seperation anxiety, takes a lot to get him to warm up to new people, barks at every little strange sound and he really is hesitant to come to me as he's never sure if I'm going to brush him, medicate his ears, clip his nails or give a treat. It's just who he is and otherwise he's the best!! Bella has none of those traits but eats poop!!! So you get some bad w all the good.

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

...but eats poop---LOL!!! 

you're right, Sue. No one (or dog) is perfect! 

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Oh, Sue, it is so good to know there are other ogre doodle mamas out there!  Ned will not snuggle with me on the couch because it is the site of the dreaded brushings.....