Dr. Doodle

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Comment by Tina, Clover, Plus 5 More on July 29, 2011 at 8:27am

Jennifer, I think when you started this group it was not set up as private.  If I remember correctly Adina said it could be.

Comment by Susan and Sasha on July 29, 2011 at 5:36am

Oops...

When I read over my post I realizd that I left out an Important thing...and didn't want to "delete" and "do over"!!  Lol

That's what I get for trying to type quickly...so I can get out of here to help our son pack for a move today!  (smile)

 

I Do think that venting at times can be a good thing!!  Lol...

Yes ladies...I must confess...I've been know to vent at times...with the best of them!!

That said...I have to run...Really!!  Lol...

Comment by Susan and Sasha on July 29, 2011 at 5:30am

Hi...me again...

 

Jen...your  last two post didn't show up until after I wrote mine...

These silly computers...lol...

 

I like your idea of starting a blog.

What a great way to help others...and at the same time be therapudic for you...

 

I also agree...we are all different...

Some see a glass half empty...some see it half full...

I know that we have All gone through so many different things in our lives and have family members who have gone through difficult times also.

When I went through chemo and radiation...it was a Very difficult time...but for me...making sure that I stayed positive was still the best route.

 

It might not be the same for everyone...and we are all different.

Not a right or wrong...and that's what I Love about people!

 

I think having a "safe place" to share thoughts and feelings...even if they might be different from others...is a wonderful thing.

Tha'ts what a blog would be...and that's what this is too.

 

We are people who havve common interests...our Wonderful...Lovable Doodle.and some medical issues...who can share with one another...and hopefully...be a support and positive encouragement to one another.

 

When I joined this group...this was my understanding...and I've met some great friends here already!

 

I have to run for now...but hope everyone has a Great day!

 

Great Big Doodle Hugs To Everyone...

Susan and Sasha

 

 

 

Comment by Susan and Sasha on July 29, 2011 at 4:31am

Hi Jen...

I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this...again!

I know that advice can be frustrating at times...and we All get it.  Lol...

I try to look at advice from those that love and care for me...as just that.

People who are trying to be kind and helpful...and then I make my own choices and decisons.

 

I don't always let people know how I'm feeling.  It depends on how close the relationship is.

Like if I'm in a migraine "flair"...and have a migraine for weeks! 

I really don't want to be saying that to people!!

 

Then again...I've also learned that there are people in my life who love and care for me and Really do want to know... so that they can pray for me!    So...even thought I might want to say..."Im fine"...I don't do that anymore!  (smile)

 

I look at it this way...

I'm thankful to have people in my life that love and care for me...and I do want them to care...and to pray for me...etc...

As far as advice...well...I'm a "big girl" (smile)  and I'm able to smile and listen...and then make my own choices.

I do have to say...I've have gotten some good input from people...and then I've gotten some "well meaning" input that I didn't take to heart.

The decision was mine to make...and I didn't get mad or frustrated at the person at all.

They we just trying to be helpful...and...it was my choice to take the advice or not.

It works for me...and it's a lot less stressfull too!  (smile)

 

Oh...before I forget...

Sasha want me to send some Great Big Doodle Kisses to her friend Jack!!

Hugs and Love...

Susan and Sasha

 

Comment by Jennifer and Jack on July 28, 2011 at 7:00pm

I actually think I am going to start a private blog...for people with chronic diseases. I used to Blog all the time for years and years, but I went incognito a few years ago.. That blog is about 12 years old and though it is under a different name I am thinking of starting something separate from DK to make sure people can have privacy without anything being linked back them.. I am not sure DK is that private, I am not sure though.. I guess I should know since I formed this group, I can't tell who can see what.. If I start a separate blog would you be interested.?

Comment by Jennifer and Jack on July 28, 2011 at 1:02pm

I know it is so hard, and people honestly can NOT get it. They may think they can.. but really no one can possibly know what anyone else feels, even if they have the same illness, often times personalities are different then others, levels of pain are tolerated different then others etc.. For example I can walk around to the point of a dangerous oxygen saturation, where most people would feel like they are suffocating , but if I get a stomach flu, one of the first words out of my mouth is "Oh God Kill me NOW" LOL.

 

No disease, mental or physical is better then the other as far as I am concerned. I do understand your point though.  I have not been able to do a ton of things that I always dreamed of, One was being a mother, being married, being able to travel, being able to make it on my own, despite having a degree in nursing and childhood education. I WILL not allow myself to focus on what I wanted, feel entitled to, feel justified in, or the could have's, especially now with my diagnoses changing a bit. 

 

I try not to compare myself to other people, who got pregnant the same month they tried, of have familes to come home to, that are able to use their college degrees without thinking twice about.. To me feeling that way is a worse cancer then I can imagine.

 

Someone I loved more then I could have imagine what love is died five years ago next week. He was my number one hero. He died after complications with a lung transplant, in the end leading up to his transplant, he was as sick as sick could be, he could not even go to the bathroom on his own. He was young, full of life and his body failed him miserable, BUT he had the most amazing attitude ever. He never complained. We talked hours and hours each and ever day, When he could not go outside anymore, he would sit in the window and Thank God for the sunshine on his face, he ALways found something to be thankful for. He didn't just other people for their stupid comments. ( unlike me) He taught me so many things.. and as I held his hand as he died, I told him, that I will live my life, each and every day in a way that would make him proud.

 

The older I get, granted I am only in my 30's but late 30's.. The more I see people for who they are, their character or lack of, but more importantly I see me.. and I am finally coming into my own self, someone who can think for herself, make my own decisions and carry on like a normal human being.

 

The reasons I talk about moving, renting my house (and I know a few of us private messaged) I want to make myself happy. I want to not wait for life to happen I want to make it happen.. and I need to be around the people who love me most, who love me unconditionally, and who are willing to be there for me, even if it is just to sit with me.  Moving out of state, looked good on paper, not so good in theory. yes, I have a house, I love my house, but I have learned lifes lesson's and it is way better to live in a small home and have it overflow with people who get you and want you to be who you want to be.

 

I hate that anyone has to deal with anything that is painful or hurtful or any thing, I would not compare or trade diseases with anyone.. and right now I am tethered like a ball and chain to an oxygen machine... Something in my in mind someone who smoke their whole lives would have to do, not someone who didn't do anything.. but that is the way it goes, and I will find something to be grateful for each day.

 

Today it is having a secret place to vent.. and a dog that loves me to the moon and back even when I am too tired to brush my teeth...

 

Comment by Lorraine Bromley on July 28, 2011 at 11:09am

You ARE so right Jennifer. Venting to people or even explaining our health issues to people gets you some really stupid comments. Like have you tried a naturalpath. No I decided I'd like to stay sick! Have you tried to excercise more. No I like being fat and tired more than being in pain! You should eat better, really? I have a good friend who has cancer and this may offend some people so be forwarned. He has had his second round of chemo. I have had pain that changed my life so I no longer resemble the person who I thought I was or want to be since 2000 when I had to stop working full time. He gets to be sick as hell for a scheduled week each month. I never know. He gets to be who he is and do what he wants whenever he takes a notion (having money also helps him alot) He lives his dreams. I can't afford either monetarily or physically to risk doing much of anything out of the new norm for fear of losing the two days I can work now, not to mention just fearing. He has a cancer that won't likely kill him with certainty although he should be in observation mode not chemo mode right now. I won't likely die of this either. He has lived his life with no regrets and is totally ready to go if need be. I haven't had the chance to live my life to the fullest and I am only ready to go to stop the pain not stop my real life.

We have had this discussion and he also says he is very lucky to be where he is at in life. And would not wish being sick on anyone. And he can see wear his having cancer is not as bad as what many people think. I started telling him this to help him feel better about having cancer not about me complaining about how my life is. But really, if I had to make the choice of cancer and this, I would really lean that way instead of chronic illness. Of course there are always people out there worse off than myself and I do know that. But yes we are deserving of a pity party every once in awhile. It is the people we are closest to that we open up to and then they start seeing us in the illness light and negativity and not as the friends they used to know. That leaves us with out the friends we used to have as well. I have got to stop talking to my closest friends about my illness but if I don't they eventually wonder why I don't do things with them anymore or go to anything and start giving me guilt trips about being a poor friend. Lots of venting and thinking going on as I lay here saving up energy so I can go out for dinner with friends tonight and still go to work tomorrow.

I know one thing that someone once said to me and I now say to my son. You have a job, one job to look after yourself! We all have to re evaluate what our jobs are at different times in our lives. Sounds like yours is puppy trainer right now. Here's to good work!

Comment by Tina, Clover, Plus 5 More on July 27, 2011 at 9:01pm

Jennifer, you made me laugh.  I must have some of the same charm.  Because I am always bumping, knocking, running, walking, falling into something.  Jack senses your stress I'm sure and hopefully that's all it is.

It must be exciting knowing Molly will be arriving soon.  Having Jack, Molly and your Mom around will be fun at times. 

Comment by Jennifer and Jack on July 27, 2011 at 6:36pm

Thanks for permission to vent, That is a sure sign that someone understands you...Not wanting to stay in a place of venting but getting it out helps.. Today, I kid you know. I stepped on a nail as I was talking to the nurse who is trying to arrange for me to go to Colorado, ( they screwed something up with dx with my insurance so we are back to square one) so as I was trying to not make a sound about stepping on a nail as to not scare the women, I jumped back and knocked over my oxygen tank. Comical right??? I can't help it.. I am just charming that way........ Jack is totally clingy to me and has been for the past few days. which always makes me wonder what he knows that I don't???? A few more days and my mom will be here and 10 more days till Molly comes. Fun Fun Fun.. I filled my whole guest room, where my mom is going to be staying with all kinds of cool presents for Molly.

Comment by Susan and Sasha on July 27, 2011 at 1:45pm

Hey Lorainne...

So glad to hear that you're doing better!

I hope that you continue to do so...

Iced coffee...yummmmm....

I've been drinking that this summer...along with Iced tea!

I've heard "mixed" reviews about cafffiene and migraines.

I go with the one that says it helps with migraines!  Lol...

I haven't had one in a little bit...so...I think I'm right! (smile)

Actually...my doctor said that it's fine to have caffiene...just in case anyone wants to know....but maybe each person reacts to it in a different way??

 

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