Hard First Few Days

[Lindsay]

Hello,

My husband and I found Marley on a shelter's website.  He is 8 months old, and an owner give up. They said he was mischevious and mouthy, and he'd also recently had stomach surgery to remove a sock - I guess he'd gotten into trouble at their home and they could no longer keep him.

He's a good dog, very sweet.  He is doing some biting, but mostly during play and when frustrated.  He's learning quickly not to do this.  We enrolled him in puppy obedience class and he's learning quickly.  He loves to cuddle on the couch with us or lay as close as possible at our feet.

It's still our first week with him and we are filled with doubt.  I guess we didn't realize what a commitment he would be!  It is definitely an adjustment to our lives.  We don't have kids, so this is our first baby. :)

Last night was the first night he slept thru the night in his crate - we covered it with a sheet and that seemed to help him.  We also use white noise machines.  The crate is in our bedroom with us.  He has not had any accidents in his crate. A few in the house, but only during his first 2 days getting used to our place.  We are just exhausted from lack of sleep - even if he's quiet at night, I seem to be awake worrying that he'll hear one of us turn over and start barking his head off like he did the first few nights.  We don't even talk to each other in bed anymore - anyone else go through these things?  He has to be coaxed into his crate with treats - does not think of it as his home/den, even though he's been in it each night so far.

We struggle because we both work full time, away from the house.  I'm 45 minutes to 1 hour away, and my husband is 20 to 25 minutes away.  We are taking him to daycare this week until we can get a gate to put up - our plan is to keep him in the kitchen while we are gone.

Does anyone else work full time?  We can't afford to keep up with daycare costs or petsitters/walkers.  We don't have any friends or family nearby who are home to help.  It's just us!  Does anyone keep them at home alone, gated 5 days a week? We are just wondering if this is good for him. We live in a townhouse, so no fenced in yard, etc.

We are feeling housebound these last few days, and are wondering how to have the strength to leave him home alone all day while we are gone.  He's got the separation anxiety typical of the breed, even if we just step out of the room.  For his first 3.5 days, we were home with him 24/7.  And the strength to leave him and enjoy some 'human minutes' like going to a movie or out to dinner.  Just feeling overwhelmed and would welcome any thoughts/suggestions!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lindsay, It sounds like Marley is doing great. He is still adjusting and a lot of his true personality will emerge as he gets more comfortable. It might be a good idea to start leaving him alone for short periods of time, so that when you go back to work, it is not such a shock. I would also find a dog walker in your area. It will be worth every penny you pay her to come home and have a dog that has had some exercise that day. Daycare would be even better. Maybe alternate. Many dogs are velcro dogs and follow you everywhere. It doesn't necessarily mean they have separation anxiety. Plus, he is settling in!

Leaving them is hard, but for your mental health you cannot stay home every night. In the beginning, I crated mine and now I no longer have to do that. I always put in a high value treat, turned the TV on and a fan to mute noises, and left without a fuss.

Right now, you are all finding your new normal and it won't be long until you don't know how you lived without Marley. Good luck!!

[Lindsay]

Thansk so much Laurie!  I know, the new normal is an adjustment, but we are all doing our best.  Thanks so much!

[Linda, Charlie Brown and Beau]

Lindsay - Just saw your post.  As you can see from all the responses, you are not alone.  Please try to remember where Marley came from and what the first 8 months of his life have been like.  It sounds like he was left alone a lot and a bored puppy or dog acts out much like a child.  Has he had any obedience training?  It would be wonderful if you could enroll him in an obedience class, and then make sure you reinforce the class by working with him in short intervals (10 minutes can make a big difference).  If you cannot afford a class, pick up a book on training and just start right from the beginning with him just like he was a new puppy.  

Since you do leave him alone while you work, you might consider using a treat ball to feed him - that way he is having to use his brain to get the food out and getting positive mental exercise. 

Also as you know daily exercise is so key.  Are you or your DH a runner or walker?  Taking Marley for a 20 or 30 minute sprint in the a.m. before you leave would help and also helps create a bond.  I would get to know my neighbors hoping to find a retired person or a trustworthy teenager that could take him out at some point during the day even for 30 mintues.  You never know, you might be making someone else's day too!  I wish you lived by me, I would do it in a heartbeat.  You might look under members on this website to see if there is someone in your area is a member and willing to pet sit or just make a mid day visit with him to break up his day.   

I wish you the best.  The fact you have joined this website shows you care very much about Marley's happiness.  I think you will find lots of great info on this site.  Keep us posted and I am keeping my fingers crossed that you will find that happy medium with Marley.

Linda and Charlie Brown

 

 

[Lindsay]

Thanks, Linda.  Yes, we just started obedience class last weekend!  He's very good with sit & watch me now.  The icy weather and snow make it hard for walking right now, but on the 'warmer' days, we are outside more with Marley.  Thanks for the suggestions!

[Heather Martinez]

Your situation is very similar to mine. My husband and I have no children and we also live in a town house. I work 30 minutes away and my husband is not able to leave work for long periods of time so can't come home during the day. Dog walking services and daycare in my area are very expensive and my husband has issues with letting anyone in the house, so that is not an option. Teddy has been at home for about 8 hours a day since we first got him. Teddy has always stayed in an open pen, which is now in the kitchen behind a baby gate. I believe that he sleeps during the day, because on weekends when we're home with him all day he gets exhausted from staying up and has to take a nap or go to bed early! I used to worry so much about Teddy and I would be anxious when I was coming home, waiting to hear him bark when I opened the garage, praying that he was okay. Now I know he is okay and I just get excited to hug him when I get home :)

Teddy gets a 30 min - 1 hour walk or playtime in the park every morning and every evening to make up for us not having a yard to play in. Luckily, we live next to a park and there are lots of dogs there to play with.

I also used to want to stay home with Teddy in the evenings and my husband wanted to go out and live our lives as normal! I don't worry about it anymore. Teddy always gets his walk and on the evenings we go out he sleeps in his pen and then gets to stay up later than normal with us in the living room.

Just wanted to address some of your worries about leaving him home alone. He will be fine and you will get used to it and adjust to leaving him. 

[Lindsay]

Wow, Heather, thank you so much for the reply!  Our situations are so similar, it's sooo nice to hear that someone else is in the same situation.  I'm glad to hear that your Teddy is doing well when he stays home alone!  Good idea with the walks & plays before leaving and when returning home, that was our plan too.  Thanks again so much!!

[Julia Bibbee]

I really feel your pain and I work full time.  Last fall when my pitbull died from cancer, Finn came to live with me.  He was 8 weeks old.  It was an adjustment though he did not cry at night.  He was a monster nipper.  Anyway, Finn and I have adjusted to each other quite well.  I still have to watch him like a hawk when he is out of his crate, but we are buds now.  He listens to me when I correct him .. . well most of the time.  Anyway, like the other members, I suggest get a dog walker.  They are worth their gold and they are cheaper than going to a daycare.  You don't have to use them everyday once your baby can trusted. I am glad you are crate training.  There are times when I am home and Finn is being his naughty puppy and I am trying to get things done, I put him in the crate.  It is much safer for him.  Good luck.

[Lindsay]

I"m so sorry to hear about your pitbulll!  I know how sad it is to lose a pet.  Thank for the words of encouragement!

[Katie, John & Parker pup]

We live in a condo complex so no yard as well and Parker is in his crate all day when we are at work (he gets very anxious if he's left loose and will bark and bang and scratch the door) and he is fine and a very happy boy! And of course when we are home, he is free to roam the house and do as he pleases and we go for walks and try to take him on field trips on the nice weather weekends to parks and such. Like you, we can't afford the costs of daycares and dog walkers so Parker has adapted and I don't think he would pick another family if he had the choice! lol

[Lindsay]

Thanks Katie & John!  Always good to hear of someone who's in the same situation!  Parker is super cute!  We do lots of walks too and look forward to future dog park trips when the weather is better - January in Chicago is not exactly dog park weather! :)  Thanks so much!

[Jess and Pippin]

Hi Lindsay.  Being mentally prepared for a new dog and actually living it out are definitely 2 different things  :)  Puppies are a lot of fun, but also a lot of exhausting hard work.  We definitely went through the "what have we done" stage with each of our dogs. Be consistent and firm, and remember to have fun, and you will have a wonderful loving 4 legged friend for life.  We also live in a townhouse, and both of us work full time.  Pippin gets a 30-45 minute walk every morning before I leave for work and then another short walk when we get home.  We are able to baby gate off our front entrance (there are 4 steps up to the main level, so unless he learns how to fly, he can't get over the gate).  We leave a different stuffable item for him every day (eg kong, orbie ball) and he does sleep most of the day while we are gone.  We also decided to hire a dog walker once per week (we picked Wed because that is the crazy day with teen's after school activities and a daily walk is too expensive) and then make sure we get a couple of solid runs in at the dog park as well.  Pippin is just 13 months old, and we've definitely seen a decrease (just a bit!) in energy levels.  The dogs/puppies also seem to go thru periods where they seem to forget everything they ever knew.  Just keep working with him.  He'll be fine to leave in the evenings as well, but there needs to be a balance there for all of you. 

[Karen Mac]

I too feel like this is harder than I thought. And I do have to kids...this is waaayy harder! And I wonder is I have made a mistake. I feel captive because I have to constantly monitor her w? the kids and if I stand up, she follows me. Sweet but annoying when I'm trying to take care of the home. I like it when shes asleep!! LOL