Help with two puppies

[John Caulfield]

Hello all,

We have had our two new puppies for about a week now and we are concerned and are looking for some advice.

We got a girl (11 weeks old) and a boy (9 weeks) different litters but same dad. We are concerned because the girl is sweet and much more active than the boy but she also seems to be a bully. She is constantly trying to play fight with him and always dominating him. She also cannot let him get any attention alone. Even when my wife will pet him and I will pet her she has to run over and knock him over. Same goes for treats, we will give them both one and she eats hers really fast then steals his because he eats it slower.

We are at a loss and don't know what to do. He is so much more mellow and non aggressive. He is an excellentn eater and almost completely potty trained. He loves his crate and has never whined but likes to go in when we are around and leave it open. She on the other hand won't stop barking and whining. My father-in-law who is a vet once got two great Danes at the same time and had to get up the girl because she was so dominant and aggressive towards the boy.

Can anyone offer some insight to this? Anyone else have two puppies at the same time? Is this something they will grow out of? We are afraid we are in over out head with two of the,? We have had dogs before but only one at a time. We also don't want to give her up and then have him to turn out the same way or act differently if she is gone.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[Katie & Charlie]

Hi John.  I'm sorry that I don't really have any advice to offer.  I'm sure someone will have been in this situation before and will have something helpful to contribute.  I just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having this problem and I hope things get better!  The boy sounds so sweet!  Best of luck to you with your two new "kids."

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Hi John, welcome to Doodle Kisses.  You have come to the right place for advice and I'm sure others will jump in here as well.  I can just give you my experience with this issue.  We have two liter mate sisters, Sophie and Lucy.  By the time they started into training it was pretty obviously that Sophie thought she was the boss, and she is a total attention hog.  If someone is petting Lucy she will butt right in between to push Lucy out of the way.  If we would give them each a new toy it would only be a few minutes until Sophie had both toys.  We just sort of let it play out.  Our trainer said that she felt like Lucy was just sort of letting Sophie be the Alpha and that at some point Lucy would come out of her shell and the situation would be reversed.  For the most part Lucy is just really laid back and lets Sophie do what ever she wants.  But every now and then Lucy will of had enough of Sophie constantly picking on her (particularly when they are playing outside) and she just lets her have it.  When we have a foster in the house though Lucy completely becomes the Alpha.  She is the one telling the new foster the rules of the house and what is ok and what isn't.   Neither are food assertive and have even always eaten out of the same bowl.  I think that my advice at this point would be to just sort of keep an eye on them.  You really haven't had them all that long.  Your girl is a little older than the boy, but soon the boy is going to be bigger and that could change things.  As long as she isn't hurting him, just let them work it out.  It is totally possible that their personalities will end up being completely different.  Our Sophie is the attention demanding Therapy Dog and Lucy, who is even 20 lbs larger, is our shy laid back girl.  The only other thing I would add is you really need to get some pictures up of your two.  We love pictures around here.  You also might want to join the Puppy Madness Group as there is a wealth of information and good advice in that group.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

We have two dogs and they are one year apart in age. When we brought Vern home as a puppy, Fudge was one. We were sure Fudge would be the boss and she can be, at times, but Vern charges in for affection when she is being loved. He hogs the food and water and she usually steps back and lets him have what he wants. Outside they play great together, but sometimes Vern (who is 45 pound heavier) can be too rough and believe me, when Fudge has had enough, look out Vern. Fudge gets her point across when she wants to and for the most part, we let them work it out. I don't think you can change the personality of your pups, but you can work to train them and accept them for the dog they are going to be. Don't give up on the girl pup. I would watch the pups, supervise their play, but for the most part, let them work it out between the two of them. Just like kids, no two are alike, and it is best not to compare them. Good luck!

[Amy Lounsbury]

Hi, John.  Not exactly your situation, but I had one dog for 7 years and then decided to get a puppy.  The pup was pushy and needy, where my older dog was gentle and laid back.  My older dog would only take so much from the pup and then lay down the law, but never harming the young one, just telling her to knock it off in doggie language.  Dogs naturally want a hierarchy in their family. It's not like with children, where you have to be equal or they think you favor one over the other.  Dogs want to know their place, and they accept it as the way it is. It doesn't hurt their feelings.  Puppies especially may push the limits to see what they can get away with, so as long as you are consistent in their training, these issues should work out as they grow.  Your reaction to the dominant behavior is the key to it all because they both have to understand that you are the boss.  Training one puppy is a ton of work, two at once will be way more challenging, but you can do it!  One of your puppies may just end up being the dominant one and the other may end up being the submissive one and that is completely normal and not a bad thing at all.

[Adina P]

This is a common concern about getting two pups at once.   You didn't buy siblings you bought individual dogs and unless you treat them that way, it will continue down this path.  Your best bet is to spend more individual time with each pup (while the other is crated) and when they are old enough for beginning obedience, take them individually and work them individually so that their primary relationship is with YOU rather than each other.  If they each get trained well individually a lot of this will go away on its own because you will have verbal control over them and can practice things like telling one to 'down' and 'stay' (and that one WILL obey because she's trained) while you pet and play with the other, for example.

[Adina P]

I want to add that if you want this to work it can, it will just require more work.  But I imagine you got two pups expecting things to require double the effort to some degree. Just treat them as individuals and work with them individual dogs rather than a package deal.  Because that is what they are.  You have one dog that will probably be easy to train and naturally more willing to go along with what you want.  And you have another dog that will require more patience and perseverance to train--she will probably test the boundaries more.  Just show them each what is expected of each of them, what is not permitted, and follow through with a consistent response (both to the good and the bad).  But DO separate them as often as you can.  This doesn't always have to happen via crating, maybe you can take one and your wife the other and do things with them separately and then swap dogs so they learn to work with each of you.  In the meantime, both are at an age where their attention span is that of a flea and wrestling and jumping on each other is the norm.  So don't expect too much too soon. 

Also give them treats while they are separated and feed them separately just to prevent bad habits from forming and sticking.

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

oh my goodness.. it sounds like my daughter - the older bossy one and my son the younger more mellow one... no advice but sending hugs to you and your wife.