In need of support!

[Nikki & Charlie]

So Charlie has started training on Saturday and I'm already having a hard time adjusting. We are taking him to someone who I swear is the dog whisperer lol he's wonderful. He's saved so many dogs who were going to be put down for their aggressive behaviour and has re-trained them and basically saved them. He has 30 years experience and over 5, 000 hours of training, approved by vets, etc.

I have extremely high hopes and I know that he's going to do an amazing job with charlie!! But as Charlie's 'mother' and owner, it is so hard for me to see this training take place and to challenge him in a way that he's never been challenged before. I know I'm just being sad for Charlie and this is going to benefit him in the long run, but I'm finding myself having a difficult time right now.

I'm hoping others can relate... and that it gets easier as the weeks go on! Ugh.

[Cathy, Fozzie & Shaggy]

Very well said Karen!    

The behavioral trainer friend who helps me with my boys, frequently reminds me not to put my human emotions onto my dogs. They don't look at things the same way we do.  Brenda Aloff does a very good job showing how dogs interpret our actions in her book, "Puppy Problems! No Problem!" 

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

Exactly.....and they really don't WANT to be the leader.  They only take that role when they feel like they need to.

[Laura and Angus]

I completely agree with what Karen said... I had always thought the same as Deborah, but I think we're talking about two different things here. Teaching a dog to understand the rules of the house is teaching them manners. This is how our trainer explained it to us. We obviously want to reinforce when a dog follows the expectations or uses patience or good manners, but you do have to correct behaviors that are not appropriate. Probably the best thing we learned from our trainer is "blocking." It's a simple thing that teaches the dog manners and how to behave around you or other people. Our puppy Angus, like most dogs, would try to rush past us up or down the stairs or out of doors. We were taught to block him in small hallways and on stairs by putting a leg out and then moving away, so he learns to wait. Behaviors like this teach good manners, but it's also about safety. Having a dog in your home that thinks they can do whatever they want can be dangerous (e.g. knocking you down the stairs or rushing out of a door into the street). 

Hang in there, Nikki! All the hard work with your pup will pay off!

[Lori, Winnie, Bob and Indie]

Your description of the things that you are working on right now sounds awesome! It seems as if you are learning that perhaps you've been a little too lenient with him, and it's now hard for you to flip it around and give him some boundaries. It's kinda like spoiling a child out of the goodness of your heart, only to realize that it's not helping the child. I like to look at it in terms of respect, not necessarily "dominance" per se. I don't really buy into the whole Dominance theory. There are subtle things we do with Winnie that teach her to respect us- sit for meals, wait to go out the door after we do, etc.

Just remember that boundaries are a GOOD thing- for both dogs and people. You are doing Charlie a favor by teaching him to respect you. By doing so, he is going to have a much better chance at having a healthy relationship with you and other people and dogs in his life. It's all good!

[Nikki & Charlie]

You're right I do have to stop thinking of it has discipline. There's nothing harsh or mean about this training and he does need boundaries. It's just hard to do a complete 180 when you're used to doing it one way for so long. I should have done this months ago instead of taking him to petsmart.. lol. Thanks everyone I feel so much better. I will continue to update :)

[BG and Gavin]

You have a friend in Jane here. She really knows what she is talking about having raised two opposite types of doodles. Keep the faith. It will pay off 100 times over. We used similar training principles to what you have described and are more than pleased. Bonus, all that mental work is tiring for your dood which keeps him happy and settled.

[Nikki & Charlie]

I have noticed he seems a bit more tired lately!! I guess all this mental training is a workout in itself. Thank you so much for the message. Everyone on here has made me feel so much better. 

[Maryann,Roo and Tigger]

You are absolutely doing the right thing and both you and Charlie will be happier for it - honestly.  I have had dogs for over forty years and an educated dog is a happy dog and will never find himself without a home.   You are learning too.  Dogs and humans have been friends, companions, and heart friends for thousands of years, but every puppy born learns more about being your friend and companion through your body and face language than through words and kisses.  Once Charlie and you both truly understand each other (maybe 2 or more years) you will be very best friends and both will understand you make the decisions, this human world is way to crazy for him to be in charge. Then cuddling and hugs and pets and tummy rubs can be given any time Charlie is being a good dog.  In the meantime a few extra cuddles aren't going to hurt anyone - just don't do it when he is actively being bad.

Enjoy learning to speak dog, so glad you are sticking with it even though it is hard.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

This is so wise, Maryann. 

[Nikki & Charlie]

Thank you very much! I definitely feel way better now vs. when I first wrote this post. I've already seen a dramatic difference in him and it's been 3 days. It felt impossible the first day, I thought he was so sad... but I think I was just sad for him! lol. I know that this is best and in the long run I'll be happy with myself for making this decision. Thank you for your reply!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Charlie is a very luck boy to have a Mom who cares enough to do the right thing for him. You are doing the right thing and you came to the right place for the positive reinforcement you will need. It won't be long and then you will be so amazed at the transformation.

By the way Charlie is so beautiful.

Good Luck!

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

I can really empathise with you here as before I had my doodle boys I wasn't the best dog owner....too soft and unable to really comunicate clear boundaries. I did have difficult dogs in years gone by. When I got Riley, actually well before I got him I was determined to get it right. I read so much here and Jane is a true hero as the challenges she has had have been well documented on DK and worth seeking out to read.  You are doing the right thing and what you learn and put into practise now will reap huge rewards. Good luck.