A Dream Come True! A Pontoon Boat for Fudge and Vern!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My husband and I are not extravagant people.  Our vacations consist mostly of driving home to Indiana to see family or to North Carolina to see family.  The people I used to work with always teased me about our vacations, but I didn’t care. “To each his own,” I would say and mean it.  I drive a beat up van with over 200,000 miles on it and enough dog nose prints to make it almost virtually impossible to see clearly out the back window.  In fact, it appears as if a jar of Vaseline went kablooey on my windows.  My friends get in my car and complain about the dog smell and my daughter said my car gave her a headache when we drove around in it on her recent visit.  She got in and out of my car as if I was forcing her to take a seat next to a decomposing corpse and spent the entire ride pinching her nose shut and repeating that she wished that I had traded cars with her father for the day. I spent most of the time in my car saying back, “where would you like me to drop you?”  Personally, I considered this payback for all the many hours I spent cleaning her room and if I had been psychic, I could have told her back then that someday she would know what it feels like to look around your surroundings and say, “what the hell kind of bomb exploded in here?”  I guess I could spend hours cleaning out my van, but Fudge and Vern are in my car every single day and it seems like a lost cause to me and frankly, my nose has grown used to these smells that the interlopers keep mentioning.

We are no strangers to the boating world. My husband’s parents owned a Pontoon boat for years and when I started dating my husband, we would sometimes go up with them for the day to Sylvan Lake.  This continued long after we had our children.

We didn’t actually spend the entire day on the lake, because we usually did not get out the door of my in-law’s house until about 3 pm.  It wasn’t that we were not there in the morning, but it just took my husband’s parents that long to get ready.  One of them would need to eat or the other forgot their tea for the trip up and my father-in-law had the uncanny ability to miss every single green light along the way.  If there was the slightest possibility he might make the light, he would slow down until it turned yellow and then slam on the brakes.  Most of the time, by the time we got to the boat, our nerves were shot and I was mouthing to my husband, “Tell me again why we thought this would be fun?”  It is funny what you miss, when it is gone. The rest of the day my husband and his siblings would delight in spoiling any possibility that their dad might actually catch a fish, because they insisted on doing cannonballs in the vicinity of his fishing pole, much to his chagrin.   I don’t think he ever caught a fish.

My dad and his wife lived on the lake, too, for a while.  My dad knew nothing about boats and that may be why he purchased the worst boat in the world.  For all I know, someone might have given it to him as a white elephant gift.  It was a small boat with a small motor and on one occasion when the motor stopped working, my dad and husband had to get out in the water and guide the boat to shore.  Not many people can say they had to get out and push a boat, but we laughed about that for ages.  My dad loved having that boat and loved living on the water.  It sure is funny what you miss when it is gone.

All our married life we have said, “someday, we are getting a pontoon boat.”  Last year, I put our name on the waiting list for a boat slip and we were something like number 200, so imagine my surprise, when they called me last week and said a slip was available.  I told the woman we didn’t even have a boat.  All week I imagined myself on the Suze Orman show and her yelling, “DENIED!” when I said we wanted a boat, but then I went on to imagine me yelling right back, “deny this, sister!” and I won’t tell you what hand signal I was giving her as I yelled. 

It felt good and my husband, the practical one, told me to go take a look at pontoons.  Meanwhile, I also called my daughter in Oregon and made sure we had a backup plan at retirement.  I asked her if we could come live with them in our senior years and she came back on the phone and said she discussed it with her husband and they decided when I (they did not mention her dad) got to that age, they were going to follow the Old Yeller plan.  They were both laughing and the laughter got worse when I said, “I don’t recall that having a happy ending.”

 So, despite all the odds, we got our pontoon boat and both of us feel as if a dream really did come true. It wasn’t smooth sailing. I wanted a boat that I thought would work out better for the dogs and my husband wanted one and I quote, “that doesn’t feel like we are sitting on cardboard, just so two dogs can be happy.”  He even told the salesman that I wasn’t kidding when I said we were buying a boat for Fudge and Vern.  In the end, he got his boat and I got a dog ramp so we don’t have to break our backs trying to get a wet Vern back into the boat. It was either that or a hoist.  It is not in the water yet, but soon, I hope we will be relaxing on a boat, anchored in some secluded place while our dogs swim unleashed in the water.  At least that is the way I am picturing it in my head, although a couple of times, the image of two large dogs barking wildly at geese and Vern catapulting himself into the water while the boat is moving has crossed my mind.

P.S.  We are going to christen our boat The Jack and Marge Barge in honor of my husband's parents who supplied us with many fun days on their boat.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Laurie, I respectfully request that you change Fudge's shorthand from F. I always think you may be talking to or about me. As backup support I would like you to note that Fudge is younger than me and you joined DK after me. I don't think Fu is a good alternative : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, Menopause is a (insert female dog word) here!!! LOL

Ricki, Thank you! We cannot wait! LOL about the hormones :)

Doris, Thank you!! F & V will not tell Knox either :)

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

A trailer ? Jeneous! Who wudda thunk. Not me. Thank goodness for them there engine ears

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

OMD!! How exciting, Laurie, for you and your family AND THE DOODLES!! I am GREEN with envy! I'm will not be sharing the news with Knox because he would turn GREEN too!

I cannot wait to see your pics and read your blogs about your summer weekends!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Laurie, I loved the blog and it brought back memories of my childhood. My family always had a boat (not pontoon) and spent nearly every summer weekend on the water. Wonderful times! I hope you enjoy!

 @Joanne, it might be time to get the hormones adjusted...

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Is my menopause that obvious?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, ROTFL....wow, you are getting mighty feisty. We didn't get a trailer for our boat. LOL Do you have one we can borrow?? Somehow, I have to sail it to Ohio. What is the most direct route? Webster doesn't have that in the back of the book either. No, I am not going to throw you off the plank. I am using my boat to get new boat friends :) Well, you let the cat out of the bag and now everyone knows why I married an engineer. LOL

Donna, Someone has to drive the thing...LOL!!

[Donna K & Quincy]

Fudge and Vern, congratulations on the new boat. Maybe if your mom and dad behave they'll be allowed on board as well.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

F, You know me so well!! Well, after my friend "fake out" and Joanne threatening to unfriend me, I guess this boat is going to come in handy :)

So what are you going to do?  Throw me off the Plank?

As for " How am I supposed to get the boat to Ohio?", comment?  WTD. You put a hitch on the pink van and tow the thing.  Geesh.  I suppose Webster does not have a HOW TO section in the back of the book. No wonder you married an engineer. 

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, You know me so well!! Well, after my friend "fake out" and Joanne threatening to unfriend me, I guess this boat is going to come in handy :)

Amy, I wonder why everyone thinks there will be more blogs....LOL!

Nancy, Thanks! I actually think Vern is going to be better than Fudge. It will be interesting to see. Vern LOVES the water.

Thanks, Sheri!

Jane, Stuart is welcome anytime. Fudge and Rooney can sit on the sidelines and bark at Vern and Stuart in the water :) Thank you!!

Sequoia, LOL...Fudge and Vern love new friends :)

Carol, We just knew we could not lift Vern back up. The salesman told us that some guy and his 200 pound Mastiff went out and the guy could not get his dog back on the boat and had to call for help. I could see us pulling Vern into shore :) LOL I hope the ramp we got works.  Thank you!