A Sad Good-bye...

[jen w.]

It’s Sunday morning. I should be out walking the dog right now. I am lost. I am gutted. I don’t know what to do with myself except try to keep busy so that I don’t have to think. My dog is gone.

Almost two weeks ago now, just after he turned 11 years old, Beasley began to cough. It wasn’t like Kennel Cough. This cough was different. It only occurred a few times a day and passed. At first, I thought it was old dog stuff, nothing serious, but when he began to pick at his food; when he became breathless and tired on his walks, I knew something was wrong. His usual spark and zest for life seemed to be fading before my eyes. I watched and hoped he would get better but after a few days of this, I took him to the vet. X-rays revealed that Beasley had lung cancer, probably metastatic and originating somewhere else. There was no hope for a quality life. I tried to prepare myself for what was next. 

He passed peacefully, quietly and in my arms, my best friend, my only partner. He passed with dignity and grace but he passed too unexpectedly and too soon. Now, I am alone again. I have no children of my own, no husband and no family. I want my dog back.

I knew this day would come but I never expected it this soon or with such sudden finality. Lately, he had been coming to me and putting his head in my lap. I did wonder if he was trying to tell me something. Perhaps it was covered love or maybe he just wanted to play but I won't deny that I had a disconcerting feeling that something was not right. I have decided to share this here because it is a place where previously I expressed what a whacky, wonderful experience I was given with this beautiful spirit, “my darling B”.  

Please enjoy each moment you have with your own doodles. Someday those moments will be your memories…I wish you all peace and good times at the dog park! Sleep well, my dear Beasley, sleep well.

RIP Beasley 2004 - 2015

[Coop Reynolds]

I'm so sorry for your loss. We had to put our yellow lab down on the last day of school last summer. Our whole family mourned.....
11weeks ago we welcomed the newest member of our family. He is healing our hearts and someday your heart will be ready again and Beasley will be happy to know you are not alone.

[Leslie and Halas]

I haven't been on DK for a few weeks, and I missed this. I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet Beasley.

[Wendy and Myla]

There are some really nice poems on this thread that might bring you some comfort when you are ready.

http://www.doodlekisses.com/forum/topics/death-of-a-doodle?id=20652...

[Lori, Quincy & Frankie]

As my tears flow, I too hope that you soon find comfort in the wonderful memories.  

[Cathy, Fozzie & Shaggy]

Oh Jen, I'm so very sorry for your loss and pain.  Thank you for sharing your buddy with us here.  Many of us, myself included, have done the same in the past.  You are in my prayers to find comfort and peace in the many memories you've made with Beasley.

[Bonnie and Kona]

Dear Jen. I am sorry that I am just seeing this now. Please know that this was just where you should post because many of us understand the heartache of losing our dearest friend to cancer. I hope your sweet memories of Beasley will comfort you as you grieve. You have my deepest sympathy.

[Michelle Woolverton]

I'm extremely sorry for the loss of your forever friend! We are going through cancer too with our Golden Retriever. (Histiocytic Sarcoma) it's in his back leg. This has been hard on all of us and he's just such an awesome dog. I didn't want to put him through all the treatment and with a child and grandchildren I didn't want them to possibly get sick from the toxic treatments. So we chose what quality life there is for him, but that's been hard to because now it's getting hard for him to get up (he still can) but it's hard on him. We are giving him pain medicine but I'm sure he still hurts. It's hard to let go and I'm snuggling with the fact of putting him to rest but with him still up its hard. My heart aches for you and I'm truly sorry-

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

So very sorry for your loss.  I know that lonely empty feeling all too well.  In time you will be able to move from the sadness to remembering the happy memories.  Hopefully in time you will be able to add a new little furry friend to your life.  I know you can't replace Beasley, but please try to remember that he wouldn't want you to be sad forever.  It is really hard to be sad when there is a puppy in the house.  Our Sophie has been gone now for two years.  I still have her photo on my screen saver.  My Mom just said to be yesterday you need to get that picture off of there.  I asked her why and she said because it is sad.   It makes her sad.  I said you know, it doesn't make me sad.  I can now think of the happy memories that I have and it makes me smile when I see pictures of her.  I also see so much of her in our new little AnnaBelle.  They have so many of the same traits.    While I miss her still, I know that she is all around me all the time.  My wish for you is that same feeling of peace will come for you as well.

[DJ & Chance]

Tears for sweet Beasley and hugs for you Jen.

[jen w.]

It has been a week now and I know I'm not the first person to lose a pet but it really helps to read these comments.  Again, many thanks. I know I don't have to remind you all to treasure every moment. Give your doodles a special hug and tell 'em a silly bedtime story about catching squirrels ..(what i used to do many nights ...while B yawned!) Best to you all.