Another Calendar Debacle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

My mom and I have always had a love/like relationship when my dogs are involved.  I love my Doodles and my mom likes them.  My mom isn’t a dog person and doesn’t really understand my fascination with dogs.  We are not sure at this point what kind of person my mom is, because dogs and babies are really not her thing.  Since Megan had her baby, my mom has taken to reminiscing about the pitfalls of motherhood.  Just the other day she was telling me she realized early on that having kids might not have been the best decision she ever made and she realized in the hospital with my oldest sister that she might have made a mistake. She then went on to add that she should have probably stopped with one and seemed oblivious to the fact that she was speaking to the number three child.  I am used to these musings by my mom, so I took no offense, and she did later add, “oh well, it’s fine now.”  I did, however, suggest she lose Megan’s number for awhile and keep her fond recollections of motherhood to herself or at least recollect with someone she has not given birth to or who hasn’t given birth recently. 

 

The thing I do take offense to is the fact that the other week when I was home and stopped at her apartment, the Doodle calendar I made her for 2014 through Shutterfly was covered by another calendar she got free in the mail.  I tried to give her a DK calendar last year, but she said she didn’t know any of the other dogs, so I had made one special for her of just Fudge and Vern.  When I asked why the calendar was covered, she said I had given it to her too late last year (before Christmas) and she had already been using another one to record 2014 appointments.  Apparently, she was too busy to take the time to move a couple of appointments to another calendar.

 

Today, I told her I was making another calendar for her and all she said was I had better get it to her sooner this year.  The thing is my mom’s and my priorities are very different.  I love having dogs and if I didn’t have to worry when we have to leave them when we go away, I would love everything about them.  Sure, there are days, just like when I had young kids, that I wonder what I was thinking, but mostly I can’t imagine life without my kids or my dogs.  I also know if someone gave me a calendar for a gift, even if it showcased something stupid, which Doodles are not, I would make sure the thing was hanging up when they visited.  I would not turn to the person who created a magnificent calendar for me and say, “sorry, it just didn’t work out this year.”  Oh, and then she added, “don’t I have a picture of John and you holding one of your dogs or something?” 

The picture she is referring to is one we did for a Christmas card and BOTH dogs are in the picture and it makes my heart feel all warm and fuzzy the way she seems to treasure that picture.  I am surprised she isn’t using it as a coaster for her coffee cup by now.  She also goes on and on about the new digital cameras and how nobody has any actual pictures anymore to show anyone, but when I asked her if she wanted me to have some printed for her, she said it was too much paper laying around. 

 

She told me again today that having dogs is too much work and in the next breath, said she has been having fun planning her funeral. Apparently, when my uncle died the comment I made about the hymns that were sung hit a nerve with my mom.  I have long judged a church by the length of the service and as a kid, used to read the bulletin and have a conniption fit if there was going to be both a baptism AND communion.  Even as a youngster I was impatient and used to grumble that I didn’t want to see some kid I didn’t know get baptized.  I also hate hymns with over four verses.  In my opinion, with some of the voices I hear singing all around me in Church, the Lord probably would be happy with minimal verses being sung and if the composer hasn’t made his point in four verses, then I am done.  Well, since I mentioned this all to my mom about long hymns, she has decided that she is taking a stand at her own funeral and putting it in writing what hymns she wants and what verses.  I told her she didn’t have to go to all that bother because I would be more than willing to shout out to the organist, “speed it up already, we have someplace to go.” In addition, she is also banning the liturgy and I commented by the time she got done with the details, we might just be singing one verse of Neil Diamond’s song, Hello Again, as we line up and walk by her casket and calling it a day.   She laughed and commented again that she found the whole process interesting and I just said, “whatever floats your boat, mom!”  

 

I am only telling you all this so you can see that what my mother says sometimes doesn’t always make sense to me, especially about my dogs.  Why would you want to look at some impersonal calendar instead of one of your grand dogs?  If I would ask her, all she would say is, “oh you and those damn dogs.” Oh, and to further make my case for the crazy mom, she announced at my uncle’s funeral that flipping the bird at someone is on her bucket list.  I just hope it is not me, when I hand her the Doodle Calendar at Christmas.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Rosemary, Thank you!! Luckily, my DH and kids get me, too! They all love dogs.

Lori, That's exactly how I feel about Megan's dogs. I just love them and love when they visit. Your daughter is lucky you love Lyla so much. It is so much easier to have a dog with support and someone to watch them when you go away.

Marni, Thank you!

Bonnie, Thank you!! My mom would be thrilled with a Neil Diamond song sung at her funeral :)

Michelle, Thank you....maybe that is the calendar I should get her this year :)

Leslie, I agree 100% :)

Joanne, Deep down, I know our moms love our dogs :)

Charlotte, Sounds like you know my mom :) Thank you!!

[Rosemary (Ro) and Enzo]

Sitting here, giggling.....sounds very much like me and my whole family. ( Mom, Dad, sisters, brother). I swear there must have been a mix-up at the hospital, as no one could ever understand my love of animals. Thankfully, my DH and kids " get me".
Live the story, love the pic ...send me your mom's calendar! ;)

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

Oh Laurie, you never fail to make me laugh! Fortunately for me it is not my mother that has these feelings. My in-laws however are a different story. They bring their little dog when they visit and act like mine are just in the way. Hello?? This is their home! I make sure to show them many photos of my angels and share many stories of their antics. Life has only gotten better for me with my daughters addition of Baby Lyla! She is a little like a bull I'm a china shop but I couldn't love her any more if She were my own. It makes me laugh when they visit and she is here too!

[Marni and Hanna]

Love your stories !  Great photo too !

[Bonnie and Kona]

Ah Laurie, Yo' Mama! I think the idea of singing Neil Diamond's Hello Again as you file past the coffin is perfect. Just do it. 

Yours is the best Christmas card ever! Great photo of the four of you. 

[Miss Ellie]

Oh Laurie...I would love a calendar full of pictures of Fudge & Vern...but maybe your mother might prefer a Chippendales calendar perhaps instead:)

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

I think some people are just "dog people", and others aren't.
Our dogs are family.

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I think we get our humor from dealing with our impossible mothers.  Mine constantly comments on the dog.  Then turns around and puts squeaky toys on my door knob and leaves without me knowing.  

She doesnt like animals yet brings stuff ( mostly junk ) over.  

[Charlotte and Bo]

Your mom sounds like a rip,  I think she just likes to push your buttons.  ;-)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I plan on giving my mom a F&V calendar for life and if I have to give it to her by August to get her to use it for the following year, then so be it. My mom has just met her match. I am starting to play hardball with her. LOL

F, Finally, you agree with me over my mom. LOL I knew I was right about something.

Nancy, LOL...a free calendar over one of yours....what is wrong with our moms?

Camilla, You are weird. You should have a sign on your wall that says it. LOL I am too old for a Google calendar :)