Are You More Impatient Now that You Have Dogs??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I get accused all the time of worrying more about my dogs than I do the human beings in our household.  I am not saying the accusations are wrong in some cases, but since I speak for my dogs and I love to speak, sometimes I feel I have no choice.  The impatient gene runs in my family and I have passed this gene down to one of my daughters.  In fact, my husband has mentioned on more than one occasion that there should be a support group for men who marry into this family.  I even mentioned it in the speech I had to give at my daughter’s wedding and tried to give her husband a heads up when I told him, the day they were passing out patience, we were running around trying to find a faster line.  So, worrying about the well being of my dogs and thinking things are taking too long is not a good combination if you are married to a man who hails from a long line of thinkers, dilly-dalliers, procrastinators, and out and out slowpokes.  In fact, it may be the worst combination of all and a credit to our denial and avoidance skills that we have stayed married for 34 years.

This weekend, we went out on the boat and it was hot.  Our system is I go get the boat ready and John gets the dogs to do their business one last time before boarding.  I just think that having Fudge and Vern on the boat is a lot like bringing small kids along and when they get to the boat, we should be ready to roll.  We used to have my husband go get the boat ready, but had to change it up after arriving at the boat on more than one occasion, and finding him reading the boat manual or cleaning his sunglasses before he had done any of the things on my our “before Fudge and Vern get on the boat,” list.  I would like to say that I always take the high road when this happens and keep my mouth shut, but I have never liked heights or been very good at suffering in silence. His response is always the same, “I didn’t know we were in a hurry,” as I flap around squawking and complaining that nothing has been done.

It is perfectly understandable that he seems to miss the subtle clues I give while I drive us over to the boat….”get out of my way, Grandma, I am trying to get to our boat…..Pop Pop, if you don’t want to be a hood ornament, move it or lose it.  I am trying to get to our boat.…hold on, I am sure I can beat this car and get us to the boat faster.” 

If I were any subtler with my clues, I would have to carry a cattle prod with me.  He has gotten better about not sharing any new boating tips gleaned from the ever-present manual and I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he senses my disinterest.  Either that, or maybe it is because the the last time he told me the steps we should follow in case of an emergency, I screamed back that I planned on yelling, “every man for himself,” as the dogs and I jumped into the water and could he please help me get this show on the road.

Our new system worked well on Saturday right up until we had to take a kayak up to the car.  We had been bringing the kayak on the pontoon for some time, but we decided to take it back home to make boarding easier and less cumbersome.  My husband had purchased a handy dandy carrier that was supposed to make moving large objects to and from the boat quicker and was anxious to break in his new toy.  As the dogs and I waited on board to start the boat trip, he loaded the kayak onto the carrier and we all watched as it promptly slid off.  He loaded it up again and boom, it slid off again. At this rate, I knew we were in big trouble and made the mistake of saying, “wow, that is a real time saver,” which was not met with a printable response.  Next, he turned to me and said, “you could at least help,” like the woman who has never read a direction or manual in her life would know how to load a kayak onto a carrier that came with directions and a manual.  I am good at reading body language, however, and I quickly determined that now was not a good time to point that inconsistency out and probably should be left for a further discussion.

Eventually, he did get the kayak on the carrier and it seemed to be working until he rounded the first corner and the thing slid off again.  Truthfully, we could have put Fudge and Vern on their regular collars, pointed out a goose or two, and had them pull the thing faster to the car.  By now, the dogs were panting on the boat and I was getting worried that they were overheating and cursing the day I married for love.   I knew I had a choice at that point.  I could either yell over to him across the water that I wished we had purchased a boat with air conditioning or I could keep my mouth shut.  Luckily, I did the latter because it occurred to me that we would soon be spending time alone in a confined space and with the purchase of that super duper carrier, he now had the means to transport a large body from the boat to the car.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

LMAO, Lisa!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I think this inpatient gene came with Eve when she could no longer be patient looking at that apple.

My DH has one speed sloooooooooooooooooooooooooooow except in one thing in life, also not printable here.

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Awesome story! You guys are a hoot! I think I would have fell off the boat laughing the 3rd time it fell off! Wonder what Vern and Fudge were saying about dad???

[Lucy & AnnaBelle's Mom]

Absolutely no patience here and I married a guy from the South.  He is always telling people is hasn't gotten to finish a sentence since he met me.  I just get tired of waiting and finish them for him!  lol

[Charlotte and Bo]

I've had dogs my whole life..... Guess that means I've been Impatient my whole life. Except of course with my dogs.

[Cyndi, The Boys & Callie]

I have no patience whatsoever.  I have a sign in my office that reads "God give me patience and I want it right now".  It summarizes things pretty well.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, Please be patient :) LOL

[Allyson, Peri & Taquito]

I am just imagining this scene going down.  So funny!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Karen you're going to have to reinforce your wall pretty soon.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Oooh, does this mean the other sign is being made???? I'm so excited!!!!!! That's the best news I've had all week! Pathetic, aren't I?