Are You More Impatient Now that You Have Dogs??

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I get accused all the time of worrying more about my dogs than I do the human beings in our household.  I am not saying the accusations are wrong in some cases, but since I speak for my dogs and I love to speak, sometimes I feel I have no choice.  The impatient gene runs in my family and I have passed this gene down to one of my daughters.  In fact, my husband has mentioned on more than one occasion that there should be a support group for men who marry into this family.  I even mentioned it in the speech I had to give at my daughter’s wedding and tried to give her husband a heads up when I told him, the day they were passing out patience, we were running around trying to find a faster line.  So, worrying about the well being of my dogs and thinking things are taking too long is not a good combination if you are married to a man who hails from a long line of thinkers, dilly-dalliers, procrastinators, and out and out slowpokes.  In fact, it may be the worst combination of all and a credit to our denial and avoidance skills that we have stayed married for 34 years.

This weekend, we went out on the boat and it was hot.  Our system is I go get the boat ready and John gets the dogs to do their business one last time before boarding.  I just think that having Fudge and Vern on the boat is a lot like bringing small kids along and when they get to the boat, we should be ready to roll.  We used to have my husband go get the boat ready, but had to change it up after arriving at the boat on more than one occasion, and finding him reading the boat manual or cleaning his sunglasses before he had done any of the things on my our “before Fudge and Vern get on the boat,” list.  I would like to say that I always take the high road when this happens and keep my mouth shut, but I have never liked heights or been very good at suffering in silence. His response is always the same, “I didn’t know we were in a hurry,” as I flap around squawking and complaining that nothing has been done.

It is perfectly understandable that he seems to miss the subtle clues I give while I drive us over to the boat….”get out of my way, Grandma, I am trying to get to our boat…..Pop Pop, if you don’t want to be a hood ornament, move it or lose it.  I am trying to get to our boat.…hold on, I am sure I can beat this car and get us to the boat faster.” 

If I were any subtler with my clues, I would have to carry a cattle prod with me.  He has gotten better about not sharing any new boating tips gleaned from the ever-present manual and I suspect it has something to do with the fact that he senses my disinterest.  Either that, or maybe it is because the the last time he told me the steps we should follow in case of an emergency, I screamed back that I planned on yelling, “every man for himself,” as the dogs and I jumped into the water and could he please help me get this show on the road.

Our new system worked well on Saturday right up until we had to take a kayak up to the car.  We had been bringing the kayak on the pontoon for some time, but we decided to take it back home to make boarding easier and less cumbersome.  My husband had purchased a handy dandy carrier that was supposed to make moving large objects to and from the boat quicker and was anxious to break in his new toy.  As the dogs and I waited on board to start the boat trip, he loaded the kayak onto the carrier and we all watched as it promptly slid off.  He loaded it up again and boom, it slid off again. At this rate, I knew we were in big trouble and made the mistake of saying, “wow, that is a real time saver,” which was not met with a printable response.  Next, he turned to me and said, “you could at least help,” like the woman who has never read a direction or manual in her life would know how to load a kayak onto a carrier that came with directions and a manual.  I am good at reading body language, however, and I quickly determined that now was not a good time to point that inconsistency out and probably should be left for a further discussion.

Eventually, he did get the kayak on the carrier and it seemed to be working until he rounded the first corner and the thing slid off again.  Truthfully, we could have put Fudge and Vern on their regular collars, pointed out a goose or two, and had them pull the thing faster to the car.  By now, the dogs were panting on the boat and I was getting worried that they were overheating and cursing the day I married for love.   I knew I had a choice at that point.  I could either yell over to him across the water that I wished we had purchased a boat with air conditioning or I could keep my mouth shut.  Luckily, I did the latter because it occurred to me that we would soon be spending time alone in a confined space and with the purchase of that super duper carrier, he now had the means to transport a large body from the boat to the car.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Ricki, I am in a terrible hurry right now. I will tell you later :)

Karen, I see another sign being made :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

"The funny thing is I am far more patient with Fudge and Vern than any human in my life :) I just don't find them as irritating!"

Roger, copy that!

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Patience? What is patience? Tell me RIGHT NOW!!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, Are you calling your brother a mutant? Wait until I tell him :)  Siblings can turn out very differently and I think that must be the case here. LOL about WWF...I do ponder words and try them out to see if they work.  I guess my desire to win overrules the quick part. Keep in mind I have added working out to my daily routine and it is interrupting my computer time.  I have to work hard to stay in that orange bikini.....LOL!! I don't just stand around all day taking pictures of dead animals....zing, zing.....now, you know that was said with love, too.

Elizabeth, LOL to the middle finger remark. I have the same problem :)

Karen, I will try and catch him in a good mood for that suggestion. The funny thing is I am far more patient with Fudge and Vern than any human in my life :) I just don't find them as irritating!

[F, Calla & Luca]

This would have been very funny had you not denigrated my family. Your DH does not come from "a long line of thinkers, dilly-dalliers, procrastinators, and out and out slowpokes". As his sister I know. I am not only impatient but often take the quick and dirty route to things. It's a rare day when things have to be perfect. There is such a thing as good enough. Maybe your DH had some sort of mutation. And speaking of quick, somehow in WWF you have suppressed this trait, or maybe your need to win and therefore to ponder every move to a fare thee well prevails there : ) Love ya though.

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

Love it..

I definately have more patience than my DH....If I remind him of that he quicly states "If I had wanted patients patience, I would have been a doctor"  I don't want to tell you why after 30 years of marriage i'm developing arthritis in my middle finger hehe

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Patience is a virtue that I lack, too, but since I've had dogs my whole life, I don't think that's been a factor. Although 16 years of waiting in pouring rainstorms, sub-zero temperatures, and broiling heat for my last dog to find that exact perfect spot to leave her poop didn't help any.

I do think you should suggest the alternative method of having F & V pull the kayak to the car to John, but only when he's in a good mood and you are safe at home. :-)