Bad, Badder, and.....Baddest? Please Go to the Doctor Before I Hurt Your Other Leg!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

This week has been a tough week.  I know I shouldn’t complain when there are people so much worse off, but that has never stopped me before.  My husband has had something wrong with his foot for almost three weeks and will not go to the doctor.  He says it is sprained and I think it is broken.  

While he pops Advil, I pop M & M’s and neither one are helping either of us. He doesn’t seem to care that his jerking movements in bed are keeping me up at night or that when he insists on walking with the dogs and me, we are having trouble matching our steps with his and if we go much slower, we will all be walking backwards soon.  Yesterday, we took the dogs swimming and my husband was able to hold the dog's 30 foot leads from the shore, but with only one good foot he was off balance just enough to allow Vern to swing behind me and almost pull my feet out from under me, while I was fiddling with my camera.  Luckily, I remained upright, but I thought to myself if I had fallen, gangrene would have set in, by the time Hopalong Cassidy was able to get help. 

I have tried to be understanding, but I have had three weeks of restless nights and pretty soon, I am going to be standing on his bad ankle and pouring enough liquor down his throat, when he opens his mouth to scream, that I can either load him up and take him to the doctor myself or he passes out and lets me sleep. 

It is just not fair that night after night, when he is moaning in his sleep, I have to be made to feel like the bad guy just because I wake him up when I whisper in his ear,  “Confucius say: man who doesn't go to doctor should suffer in silence.”

I mean, how selfish can one person be?

When a person’s misfortune is affecting another person’s beauty rest and day to day routine, it is time to go to the doctor’s.  I have begged and pleaded with him.  I have promised him things that he has only dreamed about up to this point. Just yesterday, I told him if he went to the doctor, I would stop nagging him for a month and it seemed to peak his interest, but then he just adjusted the ice on his ankle and went back to watching Daniel Boone.  I was so mad two nights ago that I told him I was contacting an attorney to see if he was violating some clause in our in sickness and in health vows and if a non-treated sprain/break was a loophole to get me out of this mess.  I think that might have gotten through to him, because I heard him tell our daughter to get me my phone and hand him a phone book a.s.a.p.  The weird thing was he was looking under A in the phone book and finally I said, “Silly, ankle Doctors are under P for Physicians. “  

 

I guess until your routine gets changed, you don’t know how much you will miss the things you normally do each day.  My favorite part of the day is the evenings when my husband gets home from work and we take the dogs for a walk.  For the last three weeks, I have been doing this by myself.  I miss him and the dogs miss him.  My least favorite thing about having two dogs is walking two dogs alone and I don’t know if it is spring fever, but Vern, especially, has been like a caged dog out on parole most days.  If he isn’t pouncing on Fudge to get her to wrestle, he is pouncing on Fudge to get her to wrestle.  He waits for her just outside the doorway, inside our van, or just catches her unawares and then springs into action. 

Usually, he does this right after he realizes we will be going for a walk and by the time I get them in the van, I have murder on my mind and a cream colored Doodle who used to go by the name of Vern, now thinks his name is Dammit Vern.

 

We walk every single day in the woods up at our local park, but with the warmer weather, it is as if neither dog has ever seen the place before.  Every smell, every animal sighting, every person throwing a Frisbee, every groundhog peeking out from his hole, every squirrel gathering nuts, seems to be a new experience for these two Doodles.  Maybe it is Spring Fever or maybe having my second team out of commission is just causing me to magnify the irritating stuff, but I feel like I did some days as a young mother with two small children, bickering and plucking my nerves, and watching the clock to see when my husband would be home to relieve me before a concerned citizen or I called Social Services.  My husband was my savior on more than one occasion and very good at sensing when I was at my wit’s end, just based on subtle clues I left for him.  Once, when we drove by a homeless man holding a sign that said, “will work for food,” I yelled at him to pull the car over and ask the guy if he did daycare and liked Hamburger Helper, and my husband took the kids out to dinner by himself that night and told me to take a long, hot bath.  Some days, I wish he would take Fudge and Vern out for dinner, but until that foot gets fixed and he gets to the doctor, it is not going to happen.

 

Two days ago, I let the dogs out in the morning thinking it was a new day and a new dawn.  The sun was shining.  I felt like I could conquer the world.  That feeling stayed with me until I looked outside and saw two Doodles up to no good and went out to investigate.  They had dug a big hole, nothing new, but they were too focused on something on the ground and I knew my day was taking a bad turn.  Sure enough, it was a mole or a vole or a mouse without a tail, and I got out there just in time to see Vern put it in his mouth and had the distinct feeling that it had just vacated Fudge’s mouth.

I am surprised they couldn’t hear my screams of “Leave it and drop it, “ all the way to the local police station miles away, but maybe the retching sounds I was making muffled the screams.  I could see the moment of indecision on Vern’s face…”do I drop my prized possession and make my mother happy or do I run knowing full well she can’t catch me?”  Luckily, he dropped it and then the poor thing laid on the ground heaving as two excited Doodles circled.  Thankfully, once I got the two perps in the house and went out to check on the little guy, he was gone and I did not have to make any decisions regarding his welfare.  Hopefully, he has moved on to another yard with better accommodations.

 

A month ago, I was actually wondering if I could handle three dogs. Things were going great.  Now, I realize that could turn on a dime and until my husband gets himself fixed, I can barely handle the two Doodles I have now, Bad and Badder, and what if the next one turned out to be Baddest.  Nope, two dogs is my limit and please remind me of this if I forget. Yesterday, a woman pulled up along side me when I was getting the dogs into the van and wanted to know about Labradoodles.  Red flags were going off as she told me she wants to get two puppies, wants a dog that loves everybody and can be approached by everyone, wants to train them to work with kids with reading, etc., but she does not want to pay $1500 for a dog.  I tried to tell her about good breeders, but she did not want to spend the money.  I told her about DoodleKisses, but she didn’t write anything down.  This was the moment of truth.  I could either say, “Do either of these two strike your fancy?” or be honest and tell her the truth about Fudge and Vern these past few weeks and turn her off Doodles forever.  I chose the later and hopefully, she listened to just a little of what I said about dogs.

 

Today, my husband nursed that foot all day, but he did drive up to get gas and took Fudge with him.  Meanwhile, my daughter took Vern with her when she got gas.  The last thing I heard her say before driving down the driveway was, “Vern, why do you have to be so naughty. Get out of the trash.”  She keeps a trashcan in her car, and apparently Vern was rummaging through it for Kleenex.  Welcome to my world, sweet daughter.  She wasn’t gone long. In fact, it might have been a world record for the fastest time ever to fill your car up with gas and get back home, but it was long enough for me to get a second wind. Tomorrow is a new day and I am ready!

 

P.S. I finally made a Doctor’s appointment for my husband this week. It was either that or calling our insurance and getting him a Hoveround.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Janie, I'm glad your DH is making progress.

[Janie, Jackson and Jilly]

Oh Laurie! I'm glad your DH will be going to the Dr.! My DH has been in a full leg cast! He is a big bicyclist, went out for a ride and someone hit him with their car. Then they turned around and looked at him laying in the road and left! So full cast, came up so high in the back that when he tried to sit as the need came!, he had "Barbie doll leg" - no bending, leg just stuck straight out! Well today was the much anticipated follow up appointment where they cut off the cast to re-xray and now he has a more manageable brace. It's been quite the journey and I sure hope you're not in for a long ride! Hope it heals fast!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

I know that command, but I add a couple of words. Mine do not bother each other, but they pull. By themselves, perfect...together, Vern wants to be in front of Fudge :(

[F, Calla & Luca]

Oh, and remember the famous command, "Cut it out you two."

[F, Calla & Luca]

Must be magic. My two sniff, explore etc. but they never bother each other on leash, just lucky I guess. And the wouldn't know a heel fro a toe : )

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jennifer, He has promised to go :) Or else...LOL!

Bonnie, I wish your DH would go to the doctor. That is long enough to be walking lopsided. LOL  Thank you!

Pat, Thank you! Vern was at it again today. Poor Fudge, but then I try and help her and she teases him :)

F, I have prong collars, but they must not be magic prong collars like you have :)

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Poor you! Sounds like a great week! Actually sounds like my house! DH refuses to go to the Dr.-ever!

Are you going to drag him there?? I hope Elizabeth is wrong about the boot...or it could be a hoot! Can't wait for the follow up!

[Bonnie and Kona]

OMD! I hope you DH keeps the appointment you have scheduled. My DH hurt his back February 10th and still won't see a doctor even though he walks half bent to one side... very strange. This happened one other time and after 6 weeks he went to a chiropractor. It improved in lightening speed. So why try that again? Guys are weird. Hoping there is a quick fix for your DH and you get that rest you so sorely deserve. 

[Pat and Traveler]

Great blog, Laurie!  Hope your DH gets some relief for his foot, though it sounds like he'll be limping around for a while.  Love hearing how Vern lurks and attacks Fudge--poor girl!  Oh, don't you hate it when they find some little animal!  Actually, Trav has never found a live animal, so I don't know what he would do.  With luck, I'll never find out!  Take care of yourself, too--sounds pretty wild, walking both dogs!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Riding lawnmower good. Doodles not so well behaved : ) Prong collars good.