Bad, Badder, and.....Baddest? Please Go to the Doctor Before I Hurt Your Other Leg!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

This week has been a tough week.  I know I shouldn’t complain when there are people so much worse off, but that has never stopped me before.  My husband has had something wrong with his foot for almost three weeks and will not go to the doctor.  He says it is sprained and I think it is broken.  

While he pops Advil, I pop M & M’s and neither one are helping either of us. He doesn’t seem to care that his jerking movements in bed are keeping me up at night or that when he insists on walking with the dogs and me, we are having trouble matching our steps with his and if we go much slower, we will all be walking backwards soon.  Yesterday, we took the dogs swimming and my husband was able to hold the dog's 30 foot leads from the shore, but with only one good foot he was off balance just enough to allow Vern to swing behind me and almost pull my feet out from under me, while I was fiddling with my camera.  Luckily, I remained upright, but I thought to myself if I had fallen, gangrene would have set in, by the time Hopalong Cassidy was able to get help. 

I have tried to be understanding, but I have had three weeks of restless nights and pretty soon, I am going to be standing on his bad ankle and pouring enough liquor down his throat, when he opens his mouth to scream, that I can either load him up and take him to the doctor myself or he passes out and lets me sleep. 

It is just not fair that night after night, when he is moaning in his sleep, I have to be made to feel like the bad guy just because I wake him up when I whisper in his ear,  “Confucius say: man who doesn't go to doctor should suffer in silence.”

I mean, how selfish can one person be?

When a person’s misfortune is affecting another person’s beauty rest and day to day routine, it is time to go to the doctor’s.  I have begged and pleaded with him.  I have promised him things that he has only dreamed about up to this point. Just yesterday, I told him if he went to the doctor, I would stop nagging him for a month and it seemed to peak his interest, but then he just adjusted the ice on his ankle and went back to watching Daniel Boone.  I was so mad two nights ago that I told him I was contacting an attorney to see if he was violating some clause in our in sickness and in health vows and if a non-treated sprain/break was a loophole to get me out of this mess.  I think that might have gotten through to him, because I heard him tell our daughter to get me my phone and hand him a phone book a.s.a.p.  The weird thing was he was looking under A in the phone book and finally I said, “Silly, ankle Doctors are under P for Physicians. “  

 

I guess until your routine gets changed, you don’t know how much you will miss the things you normally do each day.  My favorite part of the day is the evenings when my husband gets home from work and we take the dogs for a walk.  For the last three weeks, I have been doing this by myself.  I miss him and the dogs miss him.  My least favorite thing about having two dogs is walking two dogs alone and I don’t know if it is spring fever, but Vern, especially, has been like a caged dog out on parole most days.  If he isn’t pouncing on Fudge to get her to wrestle, he is pouncing on Fudge to get her to wrestle.  He waits for her just outside the doorway, inside our van, or just catches her unawares and then springs into action. 

Usually, he does this right after he realizes we will be going for a walk and by the time I get them in the van, I have murder on my mind and a cream colored Doodle who used to go by the name of Vern, now thinks his name is Dammit Vern.

 

We walk every single day in the woods up at our local park, but with the warmer weather, it is as if neither dog has ever seen the place before.  Every smell, every animal sighting, every person throwing a Frisbee, every groundhog peeking out from his hole, every squirrel gathering nuts, seems to be a new experience for these two Doodles.  Maybe it is Spring Fever or maybe having my second team out of commission is just causing me to magnify the irritating stuff, but I feel like I did some days as a young mother with two small children, bickering and plucking my nerves, and watching the clock to see when my husband would be home to relieve me before a concerned citizen or I called Social Services.  My husband was my savior on more than one occasion and very good at sensing when I was at my wit’s end, just based on subtle clues I left for him.  Once, when we drove by a homeless man holding a sign that said, “will work for food,” I yelled at him to pull the car over and ask the guy if he did daycare and liked Hamburger Helper, and my husband took the kids out to dinner by himself that night and told me to take a long, hot bath.  Some days, I wish he would take Fudge and Vern out for dinner, but until that foot gets fixed and he gets to the doctor, it is not going to happen.

 

Two days ago, I let the dogs out in the morning thinking it was a new day and a new dawn.  The sun was shining.  I felt like I could conquer the world.  That feeling stayed with me until I looked outside and saw two Doodles up to no good and went out to investigate.  They had dug a big hole, nothing new, but they were too focused on something on the ground and I knew my day was taking a bad turn.  Sure enough, it was a mole or a vole or a mouse without a tail, and I got out there just in time to see Vern put it in his mouth and had the distinct feeling that it had just vacated Fudge’s mouth.

I am surprised they couldn’t hear my screams of “Leave it and drop it, “ all the way to the local police station miles away, but maybe the retching sounds I was making muffled the screams.  I could see the moment of indecision on Vern’s face…”do I drop my prized possession and make my mother happy or do I run knowing full well she can’t catch me?”  Luckily, he dropped it and then the poor thing laid on the ground heaving as two excited Doodles circled.  Thankfully, once I got the two perps in the house and went out to check on the little guy, he was gone and I did not have to make any decisions regarding his welfare.  Hopefully, he has moved on to another yard with better accommodations.

 

A month ago, I was actually wondering if I could handle three dogs. Things were going great.  Now, I realize that could turn on a dime and until my husband gets himself fixed, I can barely handle the two Doodles I have now, Bad and Badder, and what if the next one turned out to be Baddest.  Nope, two dogs is my limit and please remind me of this if I forget. Yesterday, a woman pulled up along side me when I was getting the dogs into the van and wanted to know about Labradoodles.  Red flags were going off as she told me she wants to get two puppies, wants a dog that loves everybody and can be approached by everyone, wants to train them to work with kids with reading, etc., but she does not want to pay $1500 for a dog.  I tried to tell her about good breeders, but she did not want to spend the money.  I told her about DoodleKisses, but she didn’t write anything down.  This was the moment of truth.  I could either say, “Do either of these two strike your fancy?” or be honest and tell her the truth about Fudge and Vern these past few weeks and turn her off Doodles forever.  I chose the later and hopefully, she listened to just a little of what I said about dogs.

 

Today, my husband nursed that foot all day, but he did drive up to get gas and took Fudge with him.  Meanwhile, my daughter took Vern with her when she got gas.  The last thing I heard her say before driving down the driveway was, “Vern, why do you have to be so naughty. Get out of the trash.”  She keeps a trashcan in her car, and apparently Vern was rummaging through it for Kleenex.  Welcome to my world, sweet daughter.  She wasn’t gone long. In fact, it might have been a world record for the fastest time ever to fill your car up with gas and get back home, but it was long enough for me to get a second wind. Tomorrow is a new day and I am ready!

 

P.S. I finally made a Doctor’s appointment for my husband this week. It was either that or calling our insurance and getting him a Hoveround.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Julie, Thank you for the comments about both blogs :) I hope you are recovering and feeling better. I remember that feeling of being frightened to sneeze after surgery. As you get older, you are afraid to sneeze for a whole other reason. LOL Feel better and thanks again.

Elizabeth, OMD...how awful if he gets that boot. I will have so much more material for another blog....LOL!! I hope it helps you. I have dealt with foot pain, too, and feel your pain.

[Julie, Izzie & Max]

Always love your funny blogs.  Glad to hear your husband is going to the doctor to see what is wrong with his foot.  I know you, Fudge and Vern will be happy for him to join in again on your walks.

I also loved your blog about your new hair dryer. I had to show the pictures to my husband.  I just read that today.  I usually read your blogs first and had to wait to read that one because I knew it would be funny and I didn't want to laugh.  I just had surgery about two weeks ago and it still hurts to laugh, cough or sneeze.

Keep writing your blogs.  You could probably become a professional blogger.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jane, We will have a lot to talk about on that cruise :) LOL

Anne, I hope your DH comes through his knee surgery with flying colors and I hope they schedule the surgery  soon..LOL!  Oh, how I wish I had a riding lawnmower :)

F, Yes, I will tell him his sister agrees with the X-ray plan. When Vern put that thing in his mouth, the look on his face was priceless. It was like he had no clue what to do with the creature. Fudge knows, but I stopped it before it got ugly...LOL!! I really don't know how you do it with two Doodles.  Yours just must be so much better behaved than these two!

[Elizabeth, Bailey & Bruin]

I apologize in advance...Ok after the fact for laughing at your DH expense....After he comes back from the MD you might have to deal with a "boot" at night......roll over, sheets come untucked.....roll over, Oh honey, i'm sorry, I didn't mean to kick you...up to the bathroom, clunck, clunck, clunck.....before getting in bed, the loud ripping of 3 velcro straps, rip, rip, rip.....

 

No my DH doesn't wear a toe ring or polish his tootsies...It's me...gotta love chronic plantar faciitis..Hope your DH fairs better.

 

[F, Calla & Luca]

I'm sorry to hear about the foot. Truly sprains can be worse that fractures. My son who live in the Himalayas, which is what I call his walk up in Manhattan, sprained his ankle a few years ago, lordy lordy. An xray for DH sounds like a plan, though.

But Laurie,I am sick and tired of you taking the thoughts from my mind and writing funny blogs about them. From the vole onward through the reminder about three dogs I have said everyone of those things and asked if my screams couldn't be heard in PA. But my creatures are never left in condition to crawl away as you know : ) Glad to see your adventures continue.

[Anne & Mr. Haley]

Laurie, I feel your pain. It took my DH 2 weeks of limping around on a bad knee that he woke up with one morning to decide to go to the doctor. After xrays the Dr. sent him for MRI and when viewing it Dr. said it was "impressive" and DH needed a knee replacement. Turned out this Dr. does surgery in a hospital that does not accept the insurance we have so DH has found another surgeon and is waiting for his appointment day to come just for the initial visit, not the surgery. In the meantime I am doing almost everything except cut the grass for which we have a riding lawnmower and a tractor so he can sit. And, I only have one doodle.

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

This must be a "guy thing"....my DH is the same way.  They would be so lost without us to nag tell them what to do.  Good luck!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Kaytlin, LOL....oh, he had better go :)

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

just because you made an appointment, doesnt mean he will go....

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Doris, The funny thing he is very stoic when he gets sick and not a baby, at all, but he will not go to the doctor. That is the part that gets to me :) Three weeks is long enough to suffer.

Charlotte, I don't know what I am hoping for now...a sprain or a break, but I just want it to go away...LOL!! I cannot believe that sweet dog in your profile picture can be bad and badder....LOL!!

Jane, Thank you! LOL about childbirth!!