Birth Order, Sibling Count, and Littermates, Oh My!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Do you ever wonder if dogs have the same problems that humans do in regards to where we fall in the pecking order due to our birth order?  There have been thousands of studies done about the influence of birth order on our personalities and how it affects our abilities to interact with others, as we get older. My sister just turned 60 and she loves to tell anyone about how the middle position in a household of three girls was the worst position ever allotted to one poor soul. 

Mostly we tell her to get over it already, but then she brings up other stuff that has been bothering her all these years.  She can go on and on about how she had to share a room with me and our oldest sister had a room all to herself, how I slept with enough stuffed animals that it made her physically ill, and how no one made me get rid of any of my stuffed animals despite the fact that it was causing her discomfort.  Sometimes, I think to myself when she is “reminiscing” that it is too bad Mr. Stuffy Lion, Mr. Monkey, and Lassie, didn’t take my Slinky and a couple of my Lincoln logs and teach her what happens to an “over sharer”.

The last time we went home together, she tried to align herself with one of our great nieces who just happens to be the middle child.  She told her all about her hard knock life and if I hadn’t known any better I would have been convinced my sister was really Little Orphan Annie.  I half expected her to break out in song and Daddy Warbucks swoop in and save the day.  Unfortunately, for my sister she underestimated how much my great niece liked me and when she finished her summation about the perils of being a middle child and the seemingly abuse she suffered at my hands, my niece took one look at her and said, “Laurie good, Valerie bad.” 

This went on the entire weekend until I finally told my niece she might be hurting Aunt Valerie’s feelings and we didn’t want to hear about this slight for another twenty years and so my niece was kind enough to tell her, “Valerie good, Laurie awesome,” and then I added, “my work here is done.” All I can say is there is no pleasing some people and she didn’t seem any happier about that declaration.  Occasionally, I will say to my mother, “what exactly did you do to your middle child?” and my mother will get on her high horse and say something like, “If truth be told, I think I favored her.  She was the one I spent the most time with and we did a lot together.  We went shopping and to concerts and movies all the time.”  Knowing my mother’s taste in twangy country music and her penchant for impatiently exclaiming, “just what in the world is taking so long?” at almost any event, I think we may have hit on the majority of the problem.

Do the rest of us feel this way about birth order or think some of our idiosyncrasies might have to do with how many siblings we had in our families?  Do you think dogs turn out differently depending on how many puppies are in their litter?  I know Vern’s litter was bigger than Fudge’s and he has a tendency to gobble up his food as if he has to hurry before someone comes along and finishes it off.  Maybe he spent his time with his mother trying to beat out all his littermates for first dibs on her milk.  My husband comes from a family of six children and four of them were growing boys.  To this day, he eats so fast that I may just be finishing my salad and look over to see he is finished with his meal.  For the sake of our marriage, I no longer will share popcorn with him at the movies.  I like to save some popcorn for the middle of the movie and one pass of the bucket to him and I am lucky if I have popcorn to eat during the previews.   I swear he is two fisting his helpings and when he finishes it looks like someone forgot to cover the pan while popping the popcorn all around his seat. 

Appetizers are not much better and I am sure people seated around us at a restaurant are wondering what is happening as I yell out, “give me one of your puff balls NOW!”  Honestly, I think it comes from fighting for seconds in a big family and sometimes I wonder if his mother threw their food down in the center of the table, yelled, “ready, set, go, “ and ran out of the room in fright until the frenzy was over.  

 

Vern is the same way about his stuff. He doesn’t like it touched or moved.  If you move his bed one inch, he has to go over and get in it just to make sure the new location is acceptable to him.  If Fudge has a bone or toy, he wants it.  My husband can have crap all over his dresser and if I go in there and take two quarters out of his change jar or throw away something that has been sitting there untouched for five years, he knows it immediately and wants to know who moved his things.  It keeps me on my toes, because at almost every family gathering someone loves to brings up how my nice, sweet, John almost ended his brother’s life when he stole the box of Ho Hos John had hidden and was then dumb enough to leave a trail of wrappers directly to his room.  I would certainly hate to end up on a real life Murder Mystery special and think of the neighbors being interviewed and saying, “we heard them over there screaming all the time about him and his Ho Ho’s.  We had no idea what it meant, but it turns out they are a chocolate snack food with a cream filled center. “ 

Mostly, I am kidding about a dog mimicking a human with issues about sibling rivalry and birth order, but sometimes the interaction between my two dogs reminds me of my children or my own childhood.  Fudge is definitely the instigator and leader in most situations and as the oldest can be a bit bossy.  She will issue Vern a correction if she doesn’t like something he is doing and he quickly toes the line.  My oldest had a tendency to think being the oldest meant her sister had to listen to her and poor Hayley was assigned the part of a scullery maid, next door neighbor, or something equally less exciting in all of Megan’s made up plays.  Of course, Megan was always the beautiful princess and had the starring role.  Who knows what is most important in the long run?  Parenting style, personality traits, birth order, nature versus nurture, and sibling count is far too involved for one of my blogs, but it is interesting to think about it in terms of dogs.  I can’t even imagine the questions that would come up when going to pick out your puppy.  Do you know if he was first born, last born, or somewhere in the middle?  Will he puppy bite more or less if he is the youngest?  Will he be pushy, bossy, selfish, competitive, funny, confident, persistent, laid back, eager to please, loyal, fair, or affectionate?   The list would be endless, so on second thought, forget I mentioned it and go back to worrying about coat type, coloring, and size.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, The beauty of my smarts and logic is that when I think I am right no study or "facts' can ever sway me and I just know the youngest are the smartest :)

Jennifer, Moms and sons.....I have two girls that think their dad is their best parent and I know that is wrong, too.

[Jennifer and Jack]

Laurie I literally laughed so hard when I read what you wrote I should pray after my mom....being my parents are divorced and my dad is remarried to one of my moms ex friends...I think she may stab me with a knife if I prayed that...though it would get the point across. .....

I am super nice to my mom...I really am...I talk to her five times a day. I love and treasure her. ......she just thinks the world revolves around my brother....my mom and brother are very similar and my dad and I are twins...

Oddly both my parents take credit for anything good I do...like I get that from them ....they are equally adorable.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Be sure and let me know when you've figured it out, and I'll post the article about how many U.S Presidents, Nobel Laureates, and NASA astronauts have been first-borns (hint: the word overwhelming is used) for you to read next.  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I have wondered where you have been :) I sure said it enough and you missed my original comment to you and I was very proud of that one :) LOL  No, I don't have any questions, because I can't figure out where to click on the link...I am going to call my oldest sister and see if she can help me. LOL

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Okay, I guess it's time we first borns take off the kid gloves and give it to you latecomers straight. There is no Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy is Mom, and we are smarter than you are:

Study Says Eldest Children Have Higher I.Q.s

The eldest children in families tend to develop higher I.Q.’s than their siblings, researchers are reporting today, in a large study that could settle more than a half-century of scientific debate about the relationship between I.Q. and birth order.

The average difference in I.Q. was slight — three points higher in the eldest child than in the closest sibling — but significant, the researchers said.

Three points on an I.Q. test may not sound like much. But experts say it can be a tipping point for some people — the difference between a high B average and a low A, for instance. That, in turn, can have a cumulative effect that could mean the difference between admission to an elite private liberal-arts college and a less exclusive public one.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/21/science/21cnd-sibling.html?pagewa...

Any questions?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lori, Wow...we have a lot of youngest siblings here on DK. No wonder this is such a smart place :) Thank you!

Lisa, LOL...I call Hayley Fudge or Vern all the time :)

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I think my own birth order may be why I had only one child and one doodle....though I think I might have enough love for two and wouldn't favor one over the other...do you hear me future little brother doodle?!?!?!?!

The only thing I might worry about is calling my daughter by two doodle's names instead of just one.

[Lori, Daphne, Lucy & Pippa]

I definitely think the youngest child is the smartest! Thats where I fall on our family tree..Hehe. I love the part about the food: 

"sometimes I wonder if his mother threw their food down in the center of the table, yelled, “ready, set, go, “ and ran out of the room in fright until the frenzy was over." Too funny! I love the visual I get from this!

I, too have always been confused about the wool vs fleece coats so I thank you for that!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Pat, Thanks!! I really think the youngest is always the smartest :) LOL I am glad you liked my coat visual!

Bonnie, Thank you! Owen is your Dennis the Menace :) Another youngest here on DK. We should start a club!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Love, love, love the photos and the blog, Laurie!

Owen is the youngest of our two and tries to get away with being naughty every day, while Kona just quietly observes (or comes to me to let me know that something unseemly is going on in the compost bin). It seems about right for sibling order. As you said, who could guess birth order. Unfortunately, I was the youngest so if Owen is an example of this, I owe my parents a lot of apologies!