Boundaries and Puppy Love

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

As stated in my previous blog post, I am crazy about my little Labradoodle, Rooney.  And, as I also mentioned, this has come as a bit of a surprise to people who know me well.  Not the fact that I like my puppy.  I have always been a "Dog-Liker".  It's the fact that I love my puppy and have not generally been known as a "Dog-Lover".  But in fact, my deep affection for my Rooney has actually increased by interest and attachment to all dogs.  I find myself cooing over other people's dogs now and feeling a sense of camaraderie with all other dog walkers that I pass on my route.  This pup may turn me into an all-around Dog-Lover yet!

Still... I am not without my boundaries.  In our household, prior to Rooney, all dogs have been well cared for and loved.  But they have been D-O-G-S.  It would never have occurred to us to allow our dogs to sleep on our bed (or even in our bedroom), or let them sprawl on the couch, or to give them free run of the house.  

Our sweet black lab, Shelby, who we had until she passed away at the age 10, easily acquiesced to the rule that she was not allowed upstairs or downstairs, only the main floor.  Until the day she died she never once attempted to cross that line.  Our big, goofy Golden, Reagan, has been held to the same rule and we plan to enforce this rule with Rooney as well.

I say "plan to enforce" because at this point Rooney is not even allowed to roam the entire main floor yet.  When he first came to us, he was not allowed outside of the kitchen (which I believe contributed to his relatively quick and painless housetraining).  He has now been allowed to expand his territory to the kitchen and family room and even then I will confine him to the kitchen anytime I can't provide regular supervision (there is more mischief to be had in the family room than in the kitchen). As of now, I don't anticipate expanding his household territory further for some time.  When we do, it will be for limited times under full supervision until he has shown himself reasonably trustworthy.

Rooney has never been up on the couch and has never tried to get up there.  He will never sleep on our bed or in our bedroom.  In fact, I hope to continue having him sleep in his crate for as long as possible.  Reagan sleeps in the kitchen/family room as well and has never known anything different.

So, where am I going with this? I guess I can't help but feel a little sheepish when I see these adorable photographs of Doodles draped over couches and lounging on their owners beds.  I kinda feel like the mean mom who won't let her kids ever eat candy or watch subversive shows like Spongebob. Is this just one more indication that I am really more of a Dog-Liker and not quite a true blue Dog-Lover? Or, is this just an inevitable side effect of my rather high need for personal space and tidyness (yes, I'm a teeny bit anal when it comes to home organization and cleanliness).  And I guess the big question is, is Rooney missing out on something by not getting the full royal treatment?

I guess I'm just a little afraid that Rooney is going to get on Doodle Kisses someday and see all of these Doods living it up and think, "Hey! What kind of raw deal did I get?!? It's like all those other dogs got sent to Club Med and I got shipped off to boarding school!"

"Do you see this, People? Nothing but the floor for me... Does my cuteness mean nothing?!?"

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

Fun  blog Lori, and I don't think Rooney is feeling neglected, just look at his wonderful self.

Daisy does not sleep in our bed nor does she get up on the furniture, her choice not ours. She does have a bed in the bedroom and the living room. She sleeps where she wants, no rules. Normally she is in her bedroom bed when we get up, she does this by design and DH will give her a 20 minute massage if she is there.

Rooney will be perfectly happy being with his pal on the main floor. Probably she won't even know there is an option.

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

Thanks to all! I love hearing about the different choices people make in what they do or don't allow their dogs to do, and especially how those choices might change over time.  I can totally see that and really do look forward to giving Rooney more room to roam in the house at some point, but he's just too young still.  He would definitely get into things that he shouldn't at this point and he would LOVE to get at those shoes in the front hallway.  Actually, I wouldn't mind relaxing some of my boundaries at some point with Rooney if he is well behaved enough, but it will likely have to wait until ol' Reagan is gone.  Reagan's mobility is so limited now that it wouldn't be fair to him to let Rooney do things he just isn't physically able to do anymore.  He could never climb our hardwood stairs up to our bedroom so I will keep Rooney to the same boundaries as Reagan so long as he is still with us.  Reagan has already had to put up with enough as far as this new pup is concerned!

[Elizabeth & Cosmo]

Lori, I have always been a dog-lover, but I agree with you that some limits are appropriate and don't mean you love your doodle any less.

I am allergic to any and all animals with fur or hair (except poodles, some poodle mixes like my Cosmo, and, oddly, hamsters). For this reason, Cosmo will never sleep in the bed with DH and me.

When he was a puppy, we did limit him to the kitchen and laundry room. Then, when he was about 10 months old, we started letting him have the run of the house. The only piece of furniture he is allowed on is our leather sofa. Just recently, he started sleeping in our bedroom--on the floor--DH started it while I was out of town. So far, it's going fine.

Cosmo is just as happy and thinks he is as spoiled as other dogs that get to sleep on human beds. It's normal for him, and he thinks it's a great life!

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

Dear Big Rooney, Hmmm...your life does sound pretty good.  3 miles might be a little far for me...but I do like my walks!  It sounds like you might be willing to really play, which would be great because ol' Uncle Reagan only has about five minutes of stamina for my kinda play and then he starts getting grumpy and telling me he's "tired". Sheesh! How can you be tired after only five minutes of wrestling?!? Still... I do like my people.  Dad is super fun and he spends pretty much all day outside with me on the weekends.  I like that.  And my little girl loves me so much and I've just about got it figured out how to play with her without biting (what is wrong with this people that they don't like a little nip now and then?)  And the big boys- well, they come and go a lot but I like it when they are here. And then there's Mom... she loves me to pieces and is always petting me and brushing me and taking me for walks and for rides in the car... I don't know.  Maybe I could just sneak away for a playdate at your house sometime?  I think I like living here. Thanks for the invite though and keep me posted on how it's going with Stuart and the cat. Your friend- Little Rooney

[Nicky, Riley & Boris]

In our case Riley earned his place on the couch and our bed. By the age of five months he was very well behaved around the house and we stopped crating him even though he still has his crate and loves it. We only use it if there are visitors who are not dog orientated and when the front door is open to keep him safe.  The couch is an old one mind you and there is a throw on it and it was my partner who thought he should be allowed up on it, likewise the bed.  He is really such a good  boy and only climbs up when invited, who could resist letting him snuggle beside me on the bed or couch.  I actually get upset when he chooses the cool floor ! 

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Rooney-What you don't know won't hurt you! All households have different rules, but I have to say that snuggling on the couch and bed is the best part of my doodle life...just saying!

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

Our "rules and policies" for Sedona evolved over time - not because I'm wishy-washy (after all, I was a middle school special education teacher known for my classroom management skills), but because she earned more and more freedom as she grew.  We've fenced off the living room/dining room area and selectively close certain doors, but other than that, she now has the run of the house, even when we're gone.  That works for us.  But all individuals (both dog and human) are different, so every family should do what works for them - within reason, of course!  

[Jane, Rooney & Stuart]

Rooney - it is clear that you are abused and mistreated.  Run away to my house and you can live with me and Stuart.  We walk 3 miles every morning - whew, hard work but after that life is easy!  We get to sleep on the bed with our mom and there would be room for you too if we kick the nasty cat off.  We get on the furniture all the time - mom says it is o.k. but you would have to have trimmed nails.  You could even help me beat up my younger but much bigger brother Stuart.  We go to the dog park every day at 4:30 so Stuart can chase a stupid ball and I can chase Stuart and we both sniff other dogs butts.  Total fun.  Your pal - Rooney

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

I'm pretty sure that Rooney is not feeling like a neglected or deprived Doodle.  Guinness and Murphy are also not allowed on furniture.  Once in a while I'll let them on my bed for a little bit to snuggle while I'm watching TV.  They do sleep in their own beds in our bedroom though.....I love seeing their sleepy Doodle faces when I first wake up.  All I can say is that Rooney is looking pretty darn happy in this photo.....I think he knows he's a lucky guy.

[Kaytlin and Cooper]

When Cooper was small she wasnt allowed on the bed or couch. We were very adamant that she would never be allowed. But she did eventually... i cant remember if she jumped on or we put her on for cuddles. She doesnt go on furniture too much - she gets too hot, but as long as she isnt muddy she is allowed. We dont have a fancy new couch though... maybe one day when we do she wont be allowed.

Cooper slept in her crate/ex pen in the lounge til she was about 1 1/2, now she sleeps on the floor next to our bed or in the bathroom if shes hot