Boundaries and Puppy Love

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

As stated in my previous blog post, I am crazy about my little Labradoodle, Rooney.  And, as I also mentioned, this has come as a bit of a surprise to people who know me well.  Not the fact that I like my puppy.  I have always been a "Dog-Liker".  It's the fact that I love my puppy and have not generally been known as a "Dog-Lover".  But in fact, my deep affection for my Rooney has actually increased by interest and attachment to all dogs.  I find myself cooing over other people's dogs now and feeling a sense of camaraderie with all other dog walkers that I pass on my route.  This pup may turn me into an all-around Dog-Lover yet!

Still... I am not without my boundaries.  In our household, prior to Rooney, all dogs have been well cared for and loved.  But they have been D-O-G-S.  It would never have occurred to us to allow our dogs to sleep on our bed (or even in our bedroom), or let them sprawl on the couch, or to give them free run of the house.  

Our sweet black lab, Shelby, who we had until she passed away at the age 10, easily acquiesced to the rule that she was not allowed upstairs or downstairs, only the main floor.  Until the day she died she never once attempted to cross that line.  Our big, goofy Golden, Reagan, has been held to the same rule and we plan to enforce this rule with Rooney as well.

I say "plan to enforce" because at this point Rooney is not even allowed to roam the entire main floor yet.  When he first came to us, he was not allowed outside of the kitchen (which I believe contributed to his relatively quick and painless housetraining).  He has now been allowed to expand his territory to the kitchen and family room and even then I will confine him to the kitchen anytime I can't provide regular supervision (there is more mischief to be had in the family room than in the kitchen). As of now, I don't anticipate expanding his household territory further for some time.  When we do, it will be for limited times under full supervision until he has shown himself reasonably trustworthy.

Rooney has never been up on the couch and has never tried to get up there.  He will never sleep on our bed or in our bedroom.  In fact, I hope to continue having him sleep in his crate for as long as possible.  Reagan sleeps in the kitchen/family room as well and has never known anything different.

So, where am I going with this? I guess I can't help but feel a little sheepish when I see these adorable photographs of Doodles draped over couches and lounging on their owners beds.  I kinda feel like the mean mom who won't let her kids ever eat candy or watch subversive shows like Spongebob. Is this just one more indication that I am really more of a Dog-Liker and not quite a true blue Dog-Lover? Or, is this just an inevitable side effect of my rather high need for personal space and tidyness (yes, I'm a teeny bit anal when it comes to home organization and cleanliness).  And I guess the big question is, is Rooney missing out on something by not getting the full royal treatment?

I guess I'm just a little afraid that Rooney is going to get on Doodle Kisses someday and see all of these Doods living it up and think, "Hey! What kind of raw deal did I get?!? It's like all those other dogs got sent to Club Med and I got shipped off to boarding school!"

"Do you see this, People? Nothing but the floor for me... Does my cuteness mean nothing?!?"

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

J- Oops! I'm realizing now that Willow is your dog's name!  Silly me!  Sometimes it's hard to keep the people and dogs straight here!

[Lori, Rooney & Zuzu]

Sherri- Don't you worry, this Doodle still gets OODLES of attention and love.  When I want to snuggle him, I just sit right down on the floor with him! And the family room and kitchen are the hub of our house so he is always right in the thick of things. I should also mention that since he is only 4 months old, cuddling can often provoke a bit of mouthy, "let's play" sort of behavior so that could also be why I'm finding it easier to keep him settled on the floor for now.

Jarka- I can totally understand the potential slippery slope that could happen with a very well behaved dog.  Rooney is showing all the signs of growing into a very well mannered dog so who knows how much I might relax my standards down the road...

Willow- Thanks! It's funny because Rooney doesn't even try to get up on the couch either.  We have never really told him no, he just doesn't do it.  I think he might prefer the floor! 

Bonnie- Thanks for the support!  I definitely do adore the little guy!

Nancy- Got it. Cover his eyes. Good idea. :)

Doris- Clearly you are the sort of DK member I need to keep him away from! You will obviously corrupt him given half a chance!

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

I think Rooney needs to come live me as it clearly sounds like you are treating him just HORRIBLY!

His cuteness will mean everything here -- in fact, I'll give him a leather chair that matches Knox's!

[Bonnie and Kona]

Lori, It has always been my firm belief that in the dog owning world there are dog-likers, dog-wanters and dog-lovers. I have always been a dog-lover. My DH has slowly moved from a dog-liker to a dog-wanter. The doodles have pushed him over the edge to dog-lover. It's a wonderful place to be! Welcome! 

Regarding: couches, chairs and beds. You can be completely smitten with your doodle and not have it on the furniture. No worries. It's definitely personal preference. We actually didn't allow the doodles on the couch until Owen came along. Kona would not defend himself against the crazy nipping puppy! We would put a stop to it as best we could, and then finally invited Kona to come up on the couch for respite. He never gets on the couch without permission. Owen is not allowed on the couch. Kona cuddles on the bed before we go to sleep, but when the lights go out he jumps off to sleep on the floor (his idea). Owen sleeps in his kennel but does join our DD on the bed in the morning.

[Willow and J]

awwwwww... Rooney is too cute!

Willow is my first dog, and I am already a dog nut. I also can't pass a dog on the street without really looking at him/her with broad smile, and I became much more sensitive to any violence against animals (I personally get hurt and angry at the news of abused animals). 

Like Sherri says, we found it's impossible to set rules with Willow. She's darn cute! And my heart breaks when she sulks! But another reason for it is that Willow knows good from bad without having to be told (not always, but surprisingly so), and when she disobeys, we find there's good reason for it. 

Our experience is pretty similar to that of Jarka and Monty, except we (mostly I) stuck out a little longer. Willow is very cautious (almost timid) with furniture and things on them, so she wouldn't jump on a couch or on a bed without our permission. She's also a hot dog, so she prefers cool floors for laying down and sleeping. But one night, when she was little over a year old, she just jumped into our bed. And like Monty, Willow used to be not very snuggly puppy, so this was such a treat. On days when my allergy is really bad, I do question if I should have "corrected" her then. But, happiness is a warm puppy, and there's nothing else like it.

Good luck with boundaries. If it's important for you, you should stick with them.

(But really, how can you resist those eyes, floppy caramel colored ears, big furry paws, and extreme cuteness???) 

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

We only let our first dog on the bed because it was the only way she didn't want to go out continuously during the night (as a puppy).  She was allowed on no other furniture.  When we added our second dog we had the same rules.  Then our son brought home HIS dog and in his older teenaged defiance, he let his dog on the furniture and encouraged our dog.  When we got another dog, of course he got on the furniture - why would he think any different.  We knew we had lost that battle.  I try to keep the dogs off our living room furniture but it is a losing battle.  Keep up your standards and cover Rooney's eyes when viewing dk pictures!

[Jarka, Monty & Auggie]

Before we got Monty, I was pretty sure the dog should not be allowed in our bed or the couch in the living room. And for the longest time it worked. Just like you, we put baby gates in the kitchen and that was the only area he knew, the only area where he played and the only area where he slept since his crate was there as well. I also believe that his housebreaking training got fast-forwarded by this. On occasions, he was allowed in the living room, but only when supervised. We slept upstairs and Monty slept downstairs in his crate. Everything by the books, right? Then when he was 5 months old, I had a really bad allergy reaction and was taken to the ER one evening. Was not released until 1am or so. Ever since than, Monty has refused to sleep downstairs in the crate, so I bought him a bed and placed it upstairs in our bedroom. He was sleeping thought the night at this point without accident, so we were okay with that. The baby gates in the kitchen were still there, but in the following months, they stayed opened a lot of times. When Monty was supervised, he was allowed to move freely in the house. I should add that he was not a furniture destroyer as a puppy. He would nip, but has never tried to chew on forbidden objects. He was 6 months old when he joined me on the living room couch. The baby gates came down when he was 7 months old. I don't remember when he jumped on our bed the first time. I just remember he was soaking wet after his bath!  He would occasionally sleep on our bed, but not for the whole night. Once my husband leaves for work in the morning, Monty jumps up to join me on the bed. I grew to love that since he is not a big snuggler so I love it when he seeks out the closeness. I love my dog, but at the same time he would not have all these privileges if he was not a good boy. He knows what the rules are in the house and when he is asked to get off the bed or the couch, he will do that. And he still does prefer the cool tiles of the floor most of the time. So to me, whatever works for you is fine with your dog. He won't love you any less if you don't let him sleep on your bed. Rooney is sure a sweetheart. And with two dogs, if Rooney sleeps with you, you can bet your pillow that Reagan will be claiming his space in your bed as well. :-) 

[Sherri, Sophie, Winston, & Kitty]

I don't know how you do it. I look at that sweet face and all I want to do is cuddle up! I don't really let my dogs on the couch (much) but they sleep in my bed. I wouldn't have it any other way. I think your boundaries are fine as long as gets all the love and attention he needs and deserves and isn't isolated from the rest of the family all the time.