Catalog Shopping for a Doodle!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Many things bug me in life.  Just ask my family.  I am very vocal about the things that irritate me and many of my family members can often be heard saying, “Give it a rest, grousemeister!”  Grouse isn’t really the word they use, but it sounds nicer than the actuality.  My mom also used to say, “if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all,” but I have found when I really get going when something bugs me, it wouldn’t be fair to my family to just clam up and keep my opinions to myself, because the silence that followed would just be awkward.  Also, since I don’t know sign language, there would be no other way to make my point.  If you are married to me, by now you would be wondering, “how can I distance myself amicably from this tirade and still feign enough interest that she doesn’t turn her attention to my faults?” Luckily, you have the option of clicking off, but I think what I have to say is important.

 

When did shopping for our Doodles become like ordering an item from the Sears catalog?  Growing up, it seemed like people I knew just had dogs.  Most were mutts and I never heard anyone go on and on about their expectations regarding looks, coat type, nose color, specific size and weight requirements, or overall appearance.  Yes, I admit I was taken with the cuteness of a Doodle and still am, but the only reason I would select a specific color next time is because I am determined to use the name Black Olive, which works much better on a black dog and they don’t come in green.  I would also be willing to change the name to just plain Olive if the right dog found me.  As far as nose color and coat type, luckily I had no clue that it mattered.  The only question I was smart enough to ask was about temperament and I still didn’t get exactly what I wanted, but it doesn’t change how I feel about my dogs.  Besides that, who is to say the whole nature versus nurture debate can’t be argued about our dogs, too?

 

It just seems to me we are getting more specific about requirements when picking out our dogs and opening ourselves up to a whole can of worms down the road if something goes wrong. Dog must be under 20 pounds….what happens if it grows to be 30 pounds?  Dog must not shed…..what happens if you take a chance on a mixed breed and it sheds?  Dog’s coat must be curly….what happens if that doesn’t pan out and your dog doesn’t look Doodley enough?  The list could go on and on, but these are living, breathing creatures we are talking about and genetics can be a tricky thing.  Our neighbors are an ordinary couple, not too big or tall, and their son is huge and by huge, I mean he could hang out with professional football players and make a few of them seem small.  I have one daughter who is 5’10” and the other one may hit the measuring tape at 5’3”.  Sure, we can use the old joke about the mailman, but in my case, the mailman is old and rarely speaks and I imagine if I asked him if he would like to start a torrid affair with me, all he would say is, “here’s your mail.”  Nope, it is genetics that can cause the unpredictability in families and if you convince yourself that if you start having kids they all have to be a certain size fully grown, good luck with that plan.  The same holds true with our Doodles. They are like snowflakes and no two are ever the same. I really think if appearance is all that matters you would be better off going to Build-a-Bear and picking out a stuffed dog.

 

What if our dogs had the ability to turn the tables on us and select the owner who meets their criteria?  Can you imagine a dog saying, “What color is her nose?  Is her hair curly or straight?  Does she weigh less than 135 pounds?  I surely can’t, because none of this superficiality matters to a dog.   They already know that love can happen in all sizes, shapes, and outward appearances, and they are far more forgiving and accepting than humans.  When you think about it, a dog doesn't have any options at all, they get who they get in an owner, faults and all, and frankly, they often end up with the short end of the stick.  What is that old saying?  Let me be as good as my dog thinks I am.  Maybe it should be changed to, Let me learn to love like my dog does..simply and without all these expectations.  So, the next time I see a question being asked about a specific physical characteristic of a prospective puppy or an already gotten dog, I am not going to answer, “who cares?” but, hug my dogs and thank them for accepting me just the way I am, imperfections and all.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Gordie LOVES his name.  Cheese is one of his secret vices.  Actually cheese is one of all three of them's secret vices.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

F, Doris does not get tired :) I agree about my DH and of course, being your brother...good genetic stock indeed. Did I say they make sense half the time? I may have to amend that statement.

Nancy, I think all you dogs are lucky and I love your three :) Clan Chowder, Nedderbutter, and Gordanzola cheese...I may have to work on the last one...LOL!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Laurie, we are the lucky ones.  Clancy is just the best even though he doesn't meet the 'surface' requirements.  My DH and I met at 15 and never looked back.  Another lucky choice.  Ned was NOT the doodle puppy we went to get (red, female) but he was the one who charmed the socks off of us.

[F, Calla & Luca]

Doris was clearly overtired: ) And you were very lucky with your DH since who knows much at 17. But we know he comes from good genetic stock : ) you are also very lucky that humans make sense to you half of the time.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, Clancy knows he is so lucky to have found you!!

Doris, Brilliant....I have to write that one down :) Thank you so much!

Katherine, Thank you for your well written comment. I watch the show House Hunters and I'm always surprised by how picky some people are...granite counter tops, perfect paint color, stainless steel appliances....and how many of them fail to look at the "bones" of the house.  The other night a young couple had a budget of $350,000 and a must have list of 3 car garage and pool. One house was under budget and had everything. The other house was way over their price point and had neither of those things, but it had a lot of bells and whistles and they picked the overpriced home. Some people just want bells and whistles.  Humans make no sense to me half the time.

My DD got to meet her French Bulldog at the breeders and she said she just knew he was the one and he is just wonderful. He stole her heart just like your puppy did to you. I do believe in most cases the right dog finds you. I also am so glad I picked my husband out when I was 17. I was too young to have requirements, I just led with my heart and picked a winner :)

[Katherine]

I really appreciate you raising this. I think the biggest danger in having many, detailed expectations is that one then often stops considering the most important elements. It's like daters who have very specific "must have's" and surprisingly seldom do they include key issues like kind, generous or loving.

I think a big factor here is that people increasingly buy puppies over the internet, and because that isn't a medium for conveying personality, chemistry, bond, etc people don't get the wake-up call they used to get in the old days when you had to turn up personally.

We've been signed up for a litter for a while, and the breeder helpfully put out pictures. My daughter had one puppy as her favorite, I had another. The breeder is 8 hours drive away, but for us it was unspoken that we would visit them to see the place and to meet the litter before deciding on our top two choices. All the puppies were super - looked great (cute, healthy, etc) and had fantastic personalities. But one puppy stole both our hearts very quickly - the bond was forged for all three of us. And our second choice came shortly after - perfect dog for us that one too. It almost goes without saying that neither of these two were the ones we'd shortlisted. They were perfect dogs too, just not perfect for us. The bond wasn't there.

As to criteria / wish list - both my daughter and I were well aligned that we wanted our Doodle to be on the small side. At that time I think we would have described it as a criteria (not that we would ever consider returning our puppy if it turned out to be big, but we were pretty clear we would seek out the smaller size). But our official second choice, who we would love to join our family, will certainly be on the big side - her paws sort of remind me of bear paws, especially when she walks. Oh, we love her. We currently have a Golden Retriever, and I had a similar experience then. I said to my daughter that I would not chose the runt nor the alpha if they were easy to spot (big size difference from the rest of the flock). Of course we chose the runt. 

And I think it is a lot like dating. Too many turn down mr. or ms. Right because he/she didn't meet the requirements, and miss out on love. And far too many end up with the wrong puppy for exactly the same reason, and fail to realize that the runt they didn't want would have been the dog that through love, harmony, joy completely changed their lives.

[Doris, Knox & Flash]

Laurie, you are simply brilliant! This blog couldn't be better written or more true. I rarely cry when I read your blogs but you got me with this one.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

One of the perks of being an adult rescue is that Clancy didn't have to endure the shock of a shrinking mama, however he wants to know why the little guy is the one in charge?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Adina, LOL...Fudge and Vern never had this problem. Their mom came in extra large :)

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Adina, you are very lucky Rosco didn't rehome you for not being what he ordered, lol!