Did I Just Say My Dogs Keep Me Calm?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

The other day I posted a blog about the calming influence Fudge has had on me since I found out we were moving, but today I have to rescind the entire thing.  I think tonight I will have nightmares.  I have been super busy and the dogs are great inside the house, but as soon as I go out to work in the garage, all hell breaks loose.  I have found that the more I work in the garage, the more trouble they seem to find. Usually, I will start to hear stones landing on pavement and come out of the garage just in time to see our stone wall coming down in places as they dig feverishly for some critter inside. I used to think chipmunks were cute, until they took up residence in our stone wall.  On a beautiful day I hate to put the dogs inside when I am outside, but I also hate picking up stones and recreating our wall when I have so much else that needs to be done.  I try and remain conscious of the fact that a little bit of exercise goes a long way in keeping the Doodles happy and behaved.

 

Today we were getting ready to take our last walk of the day, but I decided to first take care of a few things inside. I had the front door open so I could keep an eye out on the dogs and often times they will come in to see what I am doing.  Fudge did exactly that and as I was informing her that I was just about done and their walk was next on my list, she walked back out the front door and I could see something was in her mouth.  Most of the time she gathers sticks to show me she is being naughty when I am not paying attention, but this time she seemed to be guarding something more closely and as I bent to take it from her mouth, I could tell it was a bird and she was not prepared to give it up.  I wasn’t happy to think that bird was in her mouth while she walking through the house and then she jumped in my car like it was perfectly normal to take her newly deceased friend with us on our walk.

 

Now here is where my dogs prove I may not be the greatest dog trainer because as I screamed for her to drop it, she just looked at me and held it tightly in her mouth.  She was nice enough to jump out of the car, but kept trying to stand far too closely to me to show me her prize and I felt like she wanted confirmation that it was "this bird" that she was supposed to drop.  Granted, she may have been confused by my language the more “drop its” I yelled and thought I was telling her to drop a duck when she knew it was a pigeon/dove (some bird other than a duck) that she was carrying around.  I tried a new training technique called grab a cushion and swing it around and then when that doesn’t work bang it on your hand and yell, “drop the damn bird,” and that didn’t work either.  Truthfully, I was between a rock and a hard place, because I was not touching that dead bird and Fudge wasn’t letting it go.  I also have another training technique called get it the car, honk the horn, and say stuff like, “too bad you don’t get to go, Fudge, because you won’t drop the bird,” and Fudge stood right next to the driver’s side window just looking at me with that bird still in her mouth.

 

By this time, I was mad that Fudge was being such a brat and I thought about trading with her for a higher value treat, but personally, if you are holding a dead bird in your mouth, isn’t everything a higher value treat and I didn’t think she would go for a rock or a stick.  So, I leashed her up and put the prong collar on her and walked her down the driveway telling her to “drop it” and letting her know with a slight tug that I wasn’t kidding around and she dropped it.  Throughout this entire process, Vern was watching from inside the car.  He didn’t seem too excited about the bird and was not about to vacate the car for fear I might call off the walk.  By the time I got a birdless Fudge in the car, I was entirely grossed out that Fudge had the nerve to want to stand next to me and possibly expose me to any bird goobers.  Of course, I was sure by this time that Vern was my perfect dog and I looked over with love in my eyes at my newly crowned favorite dog only to see that despite the fact that he did not seem overly excited about all the commotion, he was now riding shotgun with his red pistol about to fire.

 

I drove to the park slammed against my car door not wanting Fudge to even breathe on me and yelling at Vern to put his dingus away. Yes, I said dingus! I tried everything I could think of to get Vern to listen…..son, holster your weapon….put the red crayon back in the box….put that thing away before you poke someone’s eye out…and he proved as deaf as Fudge was when I talk. I swear he was smiling and seemed quite proud of his manhood.  He rode that way all the way to the park. I don’t know what all this means, but the expressions ruffle someone’s feathers and proud as a peacock come to mind for the day I have had with my dogs. 

Introducing Bird Killer and Mr. Enthusiastic

[Julie and Max]

Fudge and Max would get along great, he still loves dead things. Just about a month ago we went through this with a dead mangled squirrel in the park. He will not drop these dead things and I can't bring myself to touch them. Dumping water over his head seems to work though. :)

[Bonnie and Kona]

Laurie, I am not sure how it happened but our husbands are separated conjoined twins. I am sure of it. My husband cannot take his eyes off the TV screen when watching news or sports (which, I might add, are on 24/7!). You might as well talk to Fudge because John is not going to talk to you. I guess if they are going to be intense we would just as well they are intense over stuff on TV rather than with us.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Bonnie. John just got mad at me tonight because I was talking to Fudge when he was trying to watch some stupid segment on the news. LOL What's more important?

Jessica, Thank you so much. I am the worst dog trainer ever. LOL

Leslie, Well, now I am waking up and unpacking boxes. Not so exciting, but who knows what can happen. LOL

[Bonnie and Kona]

Oh my gosh, Laurie! I have not been on DK enough for sure!!! This whole blog had me laughing right out loud while my DH was trying to watch CNN. Not a happy spouse. I'll read it to him when the program ends and all will be forgiven. Thank you for starting me day with guffawing!

[Jessica, Loki and Moose]

Laurie your blog is always so funny and makes me laugh! It's good to hear that I'm not the only one who has moments of weakness in training as I have used similar techniques- also with zero success! By the way your two look fantastic in that picture!

[Leslie, Yogi & Maci Bear]

Laurie, you do seem to lead such an exciting life. You must wake up everyday and wonder what's going to happen next. Thanks for sharing and making us laugh!

[Cheryl and Finnegan]

LOL Donna!  I'll never hum that song and think of it in the same way again ;0  

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Marni :)

[Marni and Hanna]

I have GOT to remember to read your blogs from home instead of during my work breaks...I laugh WAY too loud !!!  GREAT picture though!!

[F, Calla & Luca]

Oh Donna, terrific!