Labradoodle & Goldendoodle Forum
Dove feathers
The morning dawned with a doodle muzzle nested in the curve of my neck.
I remember that was how the evening began. Phoebe wanted to snuggle. It wasn’t very comfortable for me, but the reality that she had made herself cozy made me smile. I believe we fell asleep that way.
For the first time in four weeks and two days I did not call the night nurse. An extra phone ring or voices would keep Jess awake. My morning call was only to learn that Jess had another night of no sleep.
When I arrived Jody was already by his side. Jess did not remember that I was there yesterday, but he does remember me visiting and knows I have been with him. I had questioned him about San Diego and he reported that he thought he was in a hospital in San Diego. He was confused when I said his son worked nearby and he was trying to figure out when Matt moved to California. We got that cleared up.
Jess was very preoccupied from the doctors’ visit earlier that morning. His heart function is about 35%. Being brutally honest, the docs told Jess they didn’t know what he’d be able to do. He was wondering if he would even be able to walk our neighborhood.
I assured him that his heart could still be getting stronger and that he still had a way to go and to try not and worry about it now.
Jody left and my sister’s husband arrived. Jess would seem real focused discussing (still in a low whisper) current events and sports. Then he reported that the hospital had so many dead doves on the roof. My brother and I looked at each other and I questioned, “How can you tell?”
“Because you can see all the feathers.”
And that was it.
He did not bring it up again and the rest of his conversations were very clear and coherent. He looks up at the ceiling a lot and reflects on the knowledge of his condition. He told me that it was a miracle that he is alive. It breaks my heart that he knows the intensity of his crisis and that he has to wonder about his future. I believe all this wondering is why he cannot sleep.
The physical therapist and the nurse had him sit up with assistance for about fifteen minutes. He was tired and took about a forty-minute nap afterward. I am hoping that when there is less activity on the floor tonight, he will settle down with the lights out.
I just spoke with him a few moments ago and he reported that the feed tube in his nose was “no big deal,” adding his day was “busy” and maybe he will sleep tonight. I told him to get some rest and that I will see him in the morning.
“Goodnight babe,” was his response. That is the Jess I know.
Goodnight and Doodle Kisses, J,J, P (so naughty today) and H.
I remember that was how the evening began. Phoebe wanted to snuggle. It wasn’t very comfortable for me, but the reality that she had made herself cozy made me smile. I believe we fell asleep that way.
For the first time in four weeks and two days I did not call the night nurse. An extra phone ring or voices would keep Jess awake. My morning call was only to learn that Jess had another night of no sleep.
When I arrived Jody was already by his side. Jess did not remember that I was there yesterday, but he does remember me visiting and knows I have been with him. I had questioned him about San Diego and he reported that he thought he was in a hospital in San Diego. He was confused when I said his son worked nearby and he was trying to figure out when Matt moved to California. We got that cleared up.
Jess was very preoccupied from the doctors’ visit earlier that morning. His heart function is about 35%. Being brutally honest, the docs told Jess they didn’t know what he’d be able to do. He was wondering if he would even be able to walk our neighborhood.
I assured him that his heart could still be getting stronger and that he still had a way to go and to try not and worry about it now.
Jody left and my sister’s husband arrived. Jess would seem real focused discussing (still in a low whisper) current events and sports. Then he reported that the hospital had so many dead doves on the roof. My brother and I looked at each other and I questioned, “How can you tell?”
“Because you can see all the feathers.”
And that was it.
He did not bring it up again and the rest of his conversations were very clear and coherent. He looks up at the ceiling a lot and reflects on the knowledge of his condition. He told me that it was a miracle that he is alive. It breaks my heart that he knows the intensity of his crisis and that he has to wonder about his future. I believe all this wondering is why he cannot sleep.
The physical therapist and the nurse had him sit up with assistance for about fifteen minutes. He was tired and took about a forty-minute nap afterward. I am hoping that when there is less activity on the floor tonight, he will settle down with the lights out.
I just spoke with him a few moments ago and he reported that the feed tube in his nose was “no big deal,” adding his day was “busy” and maybe he will sleep tonight. I told him to get some rest and that I will see him in the morning.
“Goodnight babe,” was his response. That is the Jess I know.
Goodnight and Doodle Kisses, J,J, P (so naughty today) and H.
Comment
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Comment by Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie on March 26, 2009 at 6:45pm
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May Phoebedoodle work her magic on both you and Jesse and fill you both with inner peace and funny giggles
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Comment by Marianne *OZZY & ZOEY on March 26, 2009 at 6:02pm
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Praying for all of you still and waiting for your post tomorrow...
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Comment by Michele, Biscuit & Mo on March 26, 2009 at 2:21pm
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Janet,
I've been traveling for about a week now and this is the first chance I've had to catch up. Reading the last few posts makes me realize that your entries will make for a fine, moving book someday. It seems like miracles happened overnight (from my perspective, having been gone for awhile), and I am thrilled that Jess has made the progress he has. What a blessing to have this time with him and be able to communicate. You sound so strong and I admire you so much for that. And thanks for the reminders to hug our pooches and loved ones. Continued love and prayers coming to you all!
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Comment by Beverly Wright on March 26, 2009 at 7:06am
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Janet,
Just the fact that Jess is awake and talking is still such a miracle....he will go through bouts of depression and he cannot help worrying.....I pray that this will not consume him but it is normal for patients who have gone through all that he has. I also know that so much of the healing process is determination....so keep telling Jess how much progress he is making and he will be a fighter, I just know it!! Phoebe is toooooo cute! Did you tell Jess about her haircut! It will make him smile and probably make him reassure you that it will grow back....because men are just soooooo logical! Prayers, hugs, and doodle kisses sent your way!
Bev
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Comment by Yvonne, Riley, Murphy and Luca on March 26, 2009 at 6:30am
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Each morning I am glad to see that Jesse is still holding his own and there is some moments that you can enjoy with him each day. Prayers to all of you.
Phoebe looks really comfortable in that chair. What a cutie pie!
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Comment by Adrianne Matzkin on March 26, 2009 at 4:24am
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I am glad to read each morning that everyday is just a little bit better for Jesse. The doctors can't know how much his heart will heal but I am sure it will be much better than the doctors say now. Jesse is a miracle - I wouldn't bet against him! It was wonderful to read that you & Phoebe are actually sleeping - snuggling with our Doodles is the best sleeping pill.
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I just want you to know that we are all holding you in our prayers and it is for the long haul.
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Comment by Susan on March 25, 2009 at 8:32pm
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Janet, tonights posting brings me to tears. I pray that Jess will recover and the heart will start getting stronger and stronger. It is early yet for him to worry about what he will be able to do. That walk around the block will be marvelous exercise for both him and naughty Miss Phoebe. She looks so guilty sitting in the chair! Get some sleep to be strong for your guy!
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