Fudge and Vern Play Favorites!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

Fudge and Vern are my dogs.  Most of their care falls to me, because I am home with them the most, and I think that alone should make me their favorite person in the whole world. I just don’t think I should have to tolerate anything less.  I gave birth to two lovely daughters that love me, but they think their dad walks on water.  I can’t tell you how many times I have picked up the phone and one of them has asked to talk to their dad about a pressing issue. Sometimes, I say he is unavailable, but I could help because I know lots of stuff and they can’t stop laughing. The oldest one is the worst and loves to say something like, “Mom, this is not an Everybody Loves Raymond trivia question, “ and that really burns me because I would totally nail the answer to that question. All the years I schlepped them around, planned parties, took them shopping, did their laundry, and made sure they had Christmas presents under the tree and birthday presents to open on the right day seemed to have been forgotten.  Time and time again, they have turned on me and I refuse to let this happen with Fudge and Vern.

 

My husband is the diplomat and peacemaker of our family.  My oldest worked in a beauty shop as her first job. She shampooed hair and answered phones. Her boss was actually my hairdresser and I helped get her the job, but that did not stop her from setting the water temperature to freezing right before she washed my hair and smiling as she said, “Let me know if this is too hot.”  I am sure she washed her dad’s hair with the water on the perfect setting.  She also liked to take full advantage of the free hair services provided and was constantly calling home to say that we should not be alarmed when she got home, because she had made a few changes to her hair while at work. Once, we both went to pick her up and the daughter we had dropped off as a beautiful blonde now had flaming red hair and very little eyebrows left. Apparently, she thought it sounded like a good idea to let someone who was learning how to wax eyebrows stand over her with hot wax and give it a shot. Well, as we saw Megan approach, my DH whispered, “dear god, what was she thinking?” My husband was clever back in those days and while I yelled, “Lucy, where are your eyebrows?” he said very calmly, “It looks great!” Round one to dad.

 

Our youngest daughter had lots of surgeries when she was younger. At sixteen, she had jaw surgery and had to stay a couple of nights in the hospital.  The deal was the first night my husband would stay with her and the next night was my turn.  I showed up on time for my shift and for some reason, her jaw did not hurt, but her feet were killing her. Shortly after I got there she needed help to get to the bathroom. This involved supporting her body while pushing the IV pole. I made one tiny mistake of not synchronizing the pole with her shuffle and it pulled on her IV and she fired me, just like that.  She said she wanted her dad to stay instead of me.  I begged for another chance and promised to do better next time and she just shook her swollen little head.  Round two to dad.

 

Now, here are MY two dogs and history seems to be repeating itself. Lately, Fudge and Vern have been coming into our bedroom at night when I am in bed acting like they need something from me and then walking out of the room. This goes on and on and I find myself saying to two DOGS, “Do you guys need to go potty? Are you hungry? Is your water dish full?” like they are going to answer.  One night, my husband came in to see why I kept screaming, “Fudge and Vern, go tell your daddy what you want!” and both dogs immediately put their front paws on the bed and gave him a look like, “we could use a hand here.” Once they were on the bed, they ran to the area where he was standing and both made moon doggie eyes at him until he rubbed their necks and bellies. I kept saying, “hey guys, I’m over here,” and all I got for a response was their backsides staring me in the face. It is clear to me that Fudge and Vern have perfected a system to guarantee that their favorite guy is going to make time to give them their belly rubs each night. All I am to them is a means to an end. Sometimes, I have to turn away because the light shining in their eyes when they look at him is simply too bright.  Round three to husband.

 

Jump to this week, Vern went to the sitters and Fudge stayed home with me. She slept for a while and then I took her outside and played ball with her, which is her favorite activity. She was in seventh heaven, prancing around, and enjoying every minute of me yelling, “Airbud!’ whenever she caught the ball in her mouth.  I thought we had formed a bond that could never be broken. Yesterday, my husband and I were sitting outside and Fudge found a ball in the yard and I could see her turn in our direction. I might even have said rather smugly,  “Fudge is just crazy about me and loves me to throw the ball for her, ” right before she walked right by me, without a moment’s hesitation, and dropped the ball in my husband’s lap. I also found out that Labradoodles do not notice murderous looks or mind being called a little traitor as long as the person they prefer to throw the ball is willing to cooperate.  Later, she did the same thing when my daughter came outside and made sure she looked me right in the eye as she sashayed by me and I could almost hear her thinking, “You are in last place, sister!” Another round lost.

 

Well, two can play at this game. I am tired of being second choice, so I am going to start letting my husband shop for the Christmas presents and birthday presents.  He has trouble remembering what day Valentine’s Day falls on, so this should prove to be interesting. Let’s see who the favorite is on Christmas morning, when he stands around saying, “Is today Christmas?” and then runs around with a couple of CVS and Target bags saying he forgot to wrap everything. As for Fudge and Vern, well I am prepared to dab peanut butter behind my ears and carry cheese in all my pockets if it means they always look to me first. Sometimes desperate situations call for desperate measures. This round is all mine.

[Linda and Murphy]

Too funny, Laurie.  As I sit here reading this, Finn has climbed on the back of the love seat and is now on my head. Murphy is pouting in his crate because I just spent the last hour trying to fix his incision. (He destroyed the bandages, socks and and most of the sutures. sigh)

BTW, you will never be Fudge's favorite. She is a moody female and can never be trusted. There is hope with Vern.

P.S. Murphy says to try a little honey on your cheeks...great for the complexion

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I rationalize all the attention Daisy bestows on her Daddy by saying, "well she spent the whole day with me". That's fine for the work week but on weekends it's still all about Dad. Could it be because while I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry and going to the grocery DH is playing "chuck it" and "chase Daisy around the house" games.

I do have to give him credit for the morning jogs and backyard playtime, but wait, he is doing that while I make breakfast and lunches - hmmmpf!

We are in the same boat without a paddle again Laurie.

[Mimi Linna, Lilly and Lolly]

I am a daddy's girl and miss my dad every day since he left this earth. How lucky your daughters and puppies are to have a great dad...I totally understand as dad is the favorite in our house.  I love the peanut butter and cheese idea.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

Love it!  Peanut butter and cheese the universal winners.  Surely they will prefer the one daubed in PB with cheese in their pocket.

[Donna K & Quincy]

I don' know if Quincy plays favorites or not, he does spend a lot of time waiting for which ever one of us is not home. However if we are playing and DH throws the ball, he will bring it and drop it at my feet. If we are walking and they are ahead of me he will put on the brakes and not move till I catch up. He does sleep on the floor on my side of the bed but DH gets more kisses than I do. He used to go to bed with DH but now he stays up with me. Hmmm, maybe he's just trying to keep us guessing. My DS tends to share more of his problems with me but I think that is just because I tend to be a bit less reactive.

Now I know how competitive you are, but this may be one where you want to stop keeping score it can only lead to no good. When Christmas doesn't happen, guess who is going to get the blame?

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jane, Thank you for the vote of confidence. They are wily dogs :) I would love for them to be "daddy's boy/girl" when they need to go out. They seem to be split on who is their favorite to do that job :)

[Jane, Guinness and Murphy]

My Doods are "Daddy's boys" when they have to go potty....they know he's the one who will be taking them out.  The rest of the time they are big time "Mama's boys".  They know that I'm the one who will feed them and give kisses and hugs.  I think F & V like you best, Laurie.....they're playing "hard to get" in hopes that you will resort to desperate measures....like cheese in your pockets.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Pat, Thank you! I am glad Traveler is a good and loyal dog, unlike two I know, who shall remain nameless..LOL!

[Pat and Traveler]

Hilarious blog, Laurie!  SO FAR, Trav is my very own dog.  He pretty much refuses to go on a walk with anyone else, stopping after a few steps and looking for me.  Ahhhhhhh....so sweet, and I must say, a first for me!  I didn't even have to dab peanut butter behind my ears, but would certainly have done so if the situation had been different.  :)

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Becka, That is funny. Sadie knew to butter up your mom so she would fall in love with her. Hopefully, she lives close enough, so she can watch Sadie when you go somewhere.

Jane, Stay calm and remember the peanut butter behind your ears and the cheese in your pockets. That combination will prove too hard for Rooney and Stuart to resist.

Thanks, Nicky! I am not giving up on these dogs :) It is too late with the girls...LOL!

Camilla, Darwin can join my two in the traitor club. LOL

Kaytlin, Keep working on Cooper..LOL! Don't let him follow your in your kitten's footsteps.