Getting Our Christmas On and Up!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

 

Every year, it seems that we start putting up Christmas earlier and earlier.  When I was growing up, we put our tree up the week before Christmas and my dad passed out funny gifts that he picked out for us based on things we had done that year. One year, I made him spaghetti and the recipe called for a cup of onions. I didn’t have real onions, so I put in a whole cup of dehydrated onions. Needless to say, I think we went out to dinner that night. That Christmas I got several jars of dehydrated onions. Another year, my oldest sister was pregnant and dad made a nursing bra that had one white cup and one brown cup and he said it was for white and chocolate milk. I guess looking back, it didn’t make a lot of sense, but we all cracked up when she opened the gift, especially because that sister got embarrassed easily. Growing up, we put up one white tree with green and blue balls (matched the décor) and we had one of those revolving lights that made your tree change colors. I don’t remember much else in the way of decorations and now I put up six trees in my house and almost every room in my house has some decorations. I don’t know how it all happened, but every Christmas I swear we are cutting back next year.

 

Getting all that crap those decorations out of our garage has turned into one of our least favorite days of the year for my husband. He tells me every year his next wife will be Jewish and we usually have a minor setback, disagreement, or incident. One year, in our old house, my husband was in the attic and the next thing we knew his leg came through the ceiling in my daughter’s room. I quickly found out that the correct response in that situation is not, “what did you do that for?” Another year, he painstakingly attached these new candle lights I purchased to our tree and plugged it in to unveil the results.  I took one look and turned into Joan Crawford with her wire hangers…”Blinking lights. You know I hate blinking lights!” and let’s just say those blinking lights never saw another Christmas.

 

A couple of years ago, he tried the old stall tactic on decorating day. I thought we were all ready to start and found my husband in the kitchen slowly sipping (and who was counting) three cups of coffee. Every time I said, “Let’s go, Speedy,” he would say his coffee was still too hot to drink and take a little tentative sip. Finally, he finished with his coffee and I came around the corner and found him eating a piece of string cheese. At that point in time, we had been married 30 plus years and I had never seen my husband eat cheese in the morning, so I knew this was just another calculated delay. I thought about lining some food crumbs through the house and luring him out to the garage, but in the end, I did what I do best, and yelled.

 

The tension continued when John told me I had my sweat pants on inside out. Because we lost so much time with the cheese and coffee, I opted to leave them that way.  This particular year was the first year we were able to view the results of a plan my engineer husband had concocted the previous year. He had decided the year prior to put a different color of tape (4 in all) on the boxes he was putting away and each color represented a different area of the house. It was supposed to make it easier to tell what box went where in the house. This is one of those ideas that sounds good on paper, but in reality was iffy.  Right off the bat, there was a problem locating the tiny piece of tape on each box.  We probably could have used a microscope or a GPS system.  When I asked John if he thought this system up all by himself, he told me to come closer because he just thought of something he would like to tape.

 

Even with this new system, we couldn’t find some of the boxes.  After half of the boxes came down, I started to worry because I did not see any of the foyer boxes.  I put a white tree in my foyer and decorate it with blue, silver, and crystal ornaments and balls.   A woman with her pants on inside out in a panic is not a pretty sight.  I guess I must have asked more than once about those foyer boxes because John started shouting, “I do not have any blue balls….there are no blue balls up here!”   We started laughing, but in the back of my mind I was thinking there might be if he did not find those boxes.   Finally, we got all the boxes down and grouped into the colors.  The last stumbling block happened when John had to locate his notes from the year before because no one knew what tape went with what room.  Luckily, there was no cheese in the garage, so that only took about 30 minutes. 

 

This year, and YES I realize it is too soon, Christmas arrived at our house in mid October. The older John and I are getting, the longer and harder it is becoming to get all of our Christmas decorations down and up around the house. Next year, we are probably going to have to start in July.  John always takes one day off work to help and this year, I tried to give out hugs throughout the day to lighten the mood. Towards the end of the day when I would say, “How about a hug?” he started responding back that he would love a hug as long as I did not care how hard he hugged me back.  By bedtime, we were both hobbling around and fighting over his recliner that has a massage and heat system.

I promised him just about anything that night, if he let me go first in that chair, but we both knew if I could get my tired and hurt body into bed the only leg action I would be doing was elevating them on a pillow.

So, there you have it. Keep in mind, we are not so crazy as to light everything up until my mom, aunt, and uncle arrive sometime next week. The week after is my Cookie party and for my sanity, I just need to have it all done before company arrives.  I do know that every Thanksgiving, when we sit down to dinner, my husband and I always count the fact that we are done decorating as one of our blessings.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, I read your comment to John and he said to tell you that would take care of the basement, but what about the garage attic and the rest of the house? He did laugh and said to tell you thank you for trying to help. l think next year, Karen and Jack are showing up to do all of our decorating...LOL! I know what you mean about unwrapping all the stuff. That gives me the most enjoyment of all and I am sorry for all of your losses. Sure can't replace any of those things.

Deanna, I am still subscribing to the "More is More" philosophy. One of these days, maybe I will do less. You are very lucky to have your kids and grand kids with you over the holidays. We have a bunch of boxes with black tape....that means "don't throw away, but leave in the attic!" LOL

[Deanna & Desi & Cori]

As far as Christmas decorating, once my daughter left for college, I believed in the "less is more" philosophy!  It wasn't so much the decorating, but the thought of the inevitable un-decorating that made me move toward the minimalist approach.  My husband would put up the outside lights and I'd put up one, tiny, pre-lit fake Christmas tree, just so I wouldn't be labeled a total Grinch.  I always justified the lack of decoration by the fact that we'd actually spend the days surrounding Christmas at my parents' home.

Last summer, I decided to clean out the sheds.  Actually, I was looking for the baby things I'd stored almost 30 years ago.  Now that we have a baby in the family again, I wanted to see if any of those things were usable.  In the process, I found boxes and bins of Christmas decorations that hadn't seen the light of day in years and years.  What some of it had seen, though, was the work of spiders and other critters - so I salvaged the best of the decorations and the rest went into the trash!

We'll decorate this year.  Now that my dad's no longer with us and mom is living in an assisted living facility, I'm the grandma with whom the kids will spend Christmas!  Ho Ho Ho! 

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

I think about it every year.  Then, as I take out the 3 plastic crates of just junk now, life is easier, but the memories I miss.  Each year, unwrapping those boxes was most of the joy~ the memories. 

So, are  you going to show this to, John?  HA HA

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Joanne, OMD....if that happened in our house, John's troubles would be over, as I would die from being grossed out. This is my worst nightmare. He could then dispose of all those Christmas decorations or shoot holes in them with his BB gun.

I do not know how you survived this...oh dear lord. How awful to lose all of your stuff.

I guess I'd better not complain about cheese and coffee...LOL!

[Joanne ~ Spud*]

Dear John,

I have the perfect idea for you.  First let me tell you, I color code everything.  Great Idea.

In my basement, we had what was known as the Christmas room.  At the time, we did not have those nice plastic bins as we do now  to store everything, so we used cardboard boxes.

Early one Spring, a large root backed up into my septic.  The septic ran backwards tnto the house, and exploded the pipe above the Christmas room.  Color coding no longer works in this situation.  All is very black and brown and ... well you get the idea.

We lost EVERYTHING!  Wrapped in Bio Hazard gear ( not kidding ) I just could not try to sort through and clean it all and then put up those poppy decorations ( it wouldn't be DK without adding poop to every discussion)  Years of collections and kids creations, and family heirlooms went down the drain--went out to the trash.

John, it's an idea.  It is a hell of a lot better than cheese!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, Well, that sounds great!!!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Okay, it's a plan! But you may have to settle for just me and JD!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Karen, I love your story. What a great memory for your daughter. Ok, next year, we are getting out all the decorations and my DH and I are kicking back on the sofa and you and your daughter are invited to decorate every nook and cranny...LOL! I will even cook and bake Sand Tarts and Fudge and Vern give lots of kisses :)

Ricki, I knew you would like the blue balls...LOL!! Yes, we share yet another thing in common.

[Ricki and Tara (doodle)]

Ha Ha!!! Another great blog Laurie! By the time I got to the blue balls I was ROTFL!!!

And it is comforting to know that I am not the only one that walks around with her clothing on inside out! LOL

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

Laurie, tell your DH that instead of a Jewish 2nd wife, he needs some Jewish friends who are just dying to experience the "novelty" of decorating for Christmas!

When my DD was young, we had some good friends who were older and who went all out decorating their home for Christmas. The powder room and kitchen towels and rugs were changed, the front door was wrapped as a big package, the mailbox was trimmed, the stair banisters and railings were draped, several manger scenes were set out, and of course, there were the trees. As they got older, they had less and less enthusiasm and energy for all this.

My family, on the other hand, had no such traditions or possessions, and we were all dying to trim a Christmas tree and decorate for the holidays, especially my daughter.

So, on the day in question, our friends would get out all of the boxes (can't help you with that one), make a big one-dish meal like chili or stew, and put some Christmas carols on the stereo. Then we'd come over. We'd eat, and then our friends would supervise us from the sofa as my family did all the decorating. Year by year, we knew more about what went where, and it was always exciting to see our favorite ormaments again. My daughter especially loved the setting up the Precious Moments creche and earned enough trust to eventually be allowed to do it all by herself.

Most important, my family got to share in another fmaily's customs and traditions, and our friends got a beautifully decorated house without much effort.