How to Lose Weight and Look Good in Shorts!! A Must Read for Dog Walkers!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

 

As promised, I have been giving a lot of thought to this blog. Summer for me means I have to pull out last years shorts and make sure they still fit. It is always a crap shoot and could go either way. For years, I have been saying the extra pounds are due to the baby weight I put on when I was pregnant, but my baby is 25 now and people are starting to question that theory.  All last year, I promised myself I would lose weight for my DD’s wedding, but I was also keeping my stress levels down with an almost daily trip to Auntie Anne’s Pretzels so I probably broke even at the wedding. This year I have no excuse, but every Saturday I still wake up and think next week I promise I will start back on Weight Watchers.

 

I am a veteran Weight Watchers attendee. Over the years I have joined and quit so many times, that one time the lady weighing me asked if I even needed the literature for that week.  Usually, I start off by trying to attend the meetings, but then I get irritated by the over sharers of the group who want to tell you about how their husband did this and they had a hot fudge sundae or their boss yelled at them and they had a Twinkie and frankly, I don’t care. A couple of times I have thought about shouting, “Get a therapist already, but then I see my daughter giving me the stink eye and I vow to keep my mouth shut for another week.”  I am sorry to be so mean, but I just find it so rude for people to be talking while I am trying to calculate in my head if eating an entire box of Weight Watchers Peanut Butter cookies during the meeting is going to blow my points for the week.

 

The last time I joined my daughter decided to join with me. This was her first time going and I tried to offer her some motherly advice based on my success of losing and regaining the same pounds over and over again.  My first tip was to add one inch to her height thus making her goal weight higher. Genius, if I do say so myself. Next, I almost choked when I saw what she was wearing to the first weigh in…jogging pants and a short sleeve shirt. I told her to go change and put on a pair of boots, jeans, sweater, and a down jacket. I could see I had my work cut out for me when she mentioned that it was July and wouldn’t she be overdressed? Duh…that is the point. I told her layering was her best friend at a weigh in and next week, we would lose the down jacket and boots and no matter how successful we were with the diet that week, we would, for sure, lose weight. After all my help and tips, she said she wasn’t going to change her clothes, because she thought my way was cheating. Raising two daughters has taught me to pick my battles, so I just said, “Do it your way, Honest Abe, but my way works even if weigh in does get slightly x-rated after week four.” All she said was she thought at week five, she might switch to a different meeting.

 

Another thing my family has learned over the years is to give me my space when I am dieting. Because starving does not agree with me, I can get a little testy and start saying things that could hurt feelings. After sitting down to another chicken with broccoli dinner one night, I have to give my DH props for trying to be upbeat and saying everything looked wonderful, Between my gagging and complaining about the food, I did manage to spit out, “I guess it might look good if you were a member of the Donner party and it was this or Larry’s arm.”  So, he switched to bad cop and told me I was being dramatic and healthy eating would improve my life.  I felt like knocking him over the head with a can of Progresso Light soup, but instead I said, “When is the last time someone tuned you up?” After that he said he thought I should lay off The Real Housewives of New Jersey TV show while I was dieting.  

 

Most of you can see by now, I have no clue how to lose weight and look good in shorts. Basically, I wear jeans. A while ago, I saw Bob Greene on Oprah talking about his book 20 Years Younger.  I have heard it all before. When is someone going to come up with an easier weight loss plan than diet and exercise?  We can send a man to the moon, and we can’t invent a pill that makes blueberry pie look gross to me or make a no calorie, fabulous tasting Auntie Anne’s pretzel?  Come on….I think the diet industry is in cahoots with the government.   Next week, it is back to Weight Watchers for me….I think….wait, maybe after vacation…no, then we have that party in August….soon, I promise.

[Linda, Webber and Seda]

Very clever blog, Laurie.  LOL

[Anna and Achilles]

Laurie, I am all for that!! I need help!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Jennifer.

Camilla, Your DH does sound insane :)

Jennifer, I had no idea when I wrote You have a lot on your plate, you really did...LOL!!

[Jennifer,Chloe & Myla]

Oh, you are not alone!! I love your post and good luck!!!

[Camilla and Darwin]

DH always asks me why dessert is necessary to my happiness. MEN!!!! It's insanity.

[Jennifer and Jack]

SMFO (Spit my food out) I was eating a big old plate of food as I am reading this, so of course I cracked up very hard when you said I have a lot on my plate.. I am now eating my second dinner if you want to know, or even if you didn't....

I keep saying I am going to start after this, I was going to go to a family reunion in August but since it is outside and in Fla and that means hot and humid, I was just let off the hook for going, so there went my motivation.. I will do it again, I need to. I enjoy eating healthy actually, I just have not felt well enough to cook for myself and the McDonalds drive-through has a dollar menu and I can get it fast and be done..

 

I am going to start, this is actually motivating me, I will weigh in online, even though I am in my 30's I feel to old to give a rip.. I just need to weigh in and that scares me because I know it is way up there, and I had worked really hard.

 

I think it is important to be comfortable in your own skin and not have to be defined by a size, I don't think everyone is meant to be a size o and usually the people who are are genetically predisposed to being thin. My family has big boobs, little butts and depending on what we do with our guts, big or little... It is the way I am made.. I do want to loose some more weight though because I feel better lighter and certainly breathing is easier.. I say we start over, soon as I finish the big plate of food!!!

[Kyoko]

I love weight Watchers!!! I do it online...Although I have not lost much since they changed the point system, but overall, I feel that I learned ghow to eat healthy and understand the portions!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Jennifer, I am still proud of you :) You got a lot on your plate (no pun intended) and it would be hard not to find some comfort in food. Once you start back on the program, I bet you will be a skinny mini again.

Dori, Yum!!!

[Jennifer and Jack]

I get really big bellies from the prednisone I am on, but my arms, legs and butt are skinny.. I look pregnant so what else is one to do when she looks pregnant???? Where maternity clothes!!! The fit great. I love it...

 

Yes sadly Laurie it is creeping back on, I did great until I was really deathly ill in ICU on Thanksgiving and after that I lost all my will power and soothed myself with whatever I wanted.. I can't even blame the prednisone, I just eat what I want.. I need to get my butt back in gear.. In some ways eating what I want feels good but so did being a skinny mini!!

[Dori & Rua]

Just read this but I am making dinner and I don't want to burn the steak on the grill, or the twice-baked potatoes with cheddar cheese & bacon topping or let my red wine warm up too much!  I'll have to respond appropriately later.