I Didn't Know Fudge was Outside!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Yesterday while driving, I was listening to Pink’s new CD and knew instantly in one of the songs, she must be singing about her husband.  The song talked about how she loved him, but wanted to slap him sometimes.  Now, mind you, I don’t condone violence in a marriage, but I definitely understand what she was trying to say.  Last night, was one of those “I really want to slap you,” nights.   Vern is back to his old habits, getting me up at night to go out and go potty.  He goes in spurts (no pun intended) and will sometimes go months sleeping through the night and then bam; he has to go out through the night.  Sometimes, Fudge elects to go outside with him.  Other nights, she doesn’t and continues to sleep.  

 

I have long since gotten used to Vern’s bathroom habits and I have come to accept the fact that moments after my husband comes to bed, Vern will come into our bedroom and need to go out.  I have missed the ending of many a show because once my husband hits the bed and turns on his Kindle, the rest of the world ceases to exist for him and that includes a 95 pound dog circling the bed. I used to turn towards John and somewhat angrily ask, “Why didn’t you take Vern out before you came to bed?” but stopped because A) he instantly goes into a self-preservation mode whenever I begin a sentence with why didn’t you and knows to deny everything and B) I didn’t want to go to jail for murder if he responded, “I didn’t know he had to go out.”  

 

It also works best if I am the last one to take the dogs out because since John is the last one to come to bed, it gives me the opportunity to turn out all the lights he forgot about, lock the door he forgot about, fill the dog’s water dish that he forgot about, and make sure no appliance he forgot about is still on.  I have told him on many occasions that if we wake up in the middle of the night to an intruder who got into the house through the door he forgot to lock, the last words he is going to hear before we are killed are, “I told you to lock that damn door.”  In my mind, Vern’s need to go out after he comes to bed may just be God’s way of looking out for us.  

 

Well, last night there was a change in plans and Vern woke us up a second time to go out.  I told John to go back to sleep and I was going to give it a minute and see if Vern fell back asleep, but as usually happens when I speak, John saw my lips move, but was unable to process what I said.  So, he got up with the dogs and in my drowsy state, I made the decision to let safety be damned and to just pay the increased electric bill if every light in his path was left on the rest of the night.  It wasn’t very long and back to bed he came and I was just drifting off to sleep again when I heard a strange barking coming from OUTSIDE the house.   It slowly registered that it was Fudge’s bark and meanwhile, Vern was barking inside the house to match the frantic outside barking.  Now, either my husband registered the bark at almost the same time I did and quickly processed that he had left Fudge outside or he saw the smoke coming from my ears, because he jumped up out of bed like he knew he was a man about to meet his maker.  The thing that really got me was he actually said, “I think Fudge is outside!” like it was one of the great mysteries of the universe.

 

Sure enough, he opened the front door and there was Fudge.  I was hot on his heels and in full panic mode when I said, “HOW COULD YOU FORGET FUDGE WAS OUTSIDE!!”  Breathe, Laurie, breathe!  For the first time in his life, he had also actually turned the outside light off, so poor Fudge was out there in the dark and seemed very happy to see us.  Luckily for him, he had a perfectly good explanation.  It turns out he didn’t even know Fudge went out when Vern had to go out.  Apparently, when he opened the large front door to let Vern out, he missed Fudge walking right by him.  I can’t tell you how much better that explanation did not make me feel.  I think even my seven year old niece could keep track of two dogs exiting the house and reentering….one dog out, two dogs out….one dog in, two dogs in. It sure isn’t Rocket Science. 

 

Fudge came back to bed with us and I like to think she wanted me to know her whereabouts in case Vern got up again.  She let John know he owed her some belly rubs for his oversight and as I was drifting off to sleep, I could feel her paw swinging in his direction every time he stopped rubbing.  I thought about taking her paw and whacking him a good one, but in the end, I was just glad to know my Chocolate Doodle was safe.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Nancy, Our dogs dig at every opportunity so our yard would be even worse with a doggie door. OMD! They drive me nuts digging for chipmunks :) I had to laugh thinking about Ned exiting and entering at his leisure. The little stinker.

Karen, At least JD stayed fairly close. I would never see Fudge again. Our oil guy left our gate open and I called and raised holy heck. If Vern gets out, he sits by the gate looking in like "I don't think I am supposed to be out here." Not Fudge. She will follow any scent.

BG, Gavin is such a good dog!! Sometimes, I feel like my DH is the biggest kid of all :)  Thank you for appreciating the restraint I used in not killing him! LOL

Joanna, Late for golf....LOL.  I guess he has his priorities straight :) I have had the basement door locked, but open, too.

Karen, Yes, I am so glad she barked, because she can be quite the hunter. I like your punishment methods :)

Candice, Vern is our watchdog and he knew Fudge was missing...LOL!! It helped that she was barking on the other side of the door and gave him a big clue :)

Pat, I like how Trav has a special bark to let you know he has something gross stuck on him. That never seems to bother Vern :) I guess Trav thinks bathroom time is overrated!  LOL

Colleen, LOL about Baxter and Jake. I bet Jake would miss him after a couple of days. LOL

Leslie, Yes, counting to TWO can be difficult...LOL!! She pawed him for quite some time and he felt badly enough that he complied.

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

This is just so scary.  We think we are keeping our dogs safe and wham...... not so much.  We have a 24/7 doggy door that gets closed only once in a while.  We have left a dog outside before - how did we do that?   Ned found a loose board in the fence and exited and reentered multiple times without our knowledge at all - until the neighbor kids told us!  We now have a new fence with cement footings.

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

As are my landscapers, BG, who left the gate open last Friday, and moi, who noticed it Saturday, after JD had spent half an hour sunbathing on the brick sidewalk about 50 feet from said open gate. Karen's Law: The one time you forget to check the gate is the time it will have been left open.

[BG and Gavin]

Ok I just went out for a few minute and came home and my DH who had been working outside, left the back gate wide open!  Gavin was laying in the back yard and came to the fence to greet me (as he always does) by jumping up and accepting a pat on the head.  I guess he did not notice that he could have just walked out the gate right beside where he jumped up and greeted me in person!  Either that or he has really learned that he cannot exit that boundary without permission.  Either way DH is very lucky!!

[Joanna, Zoe & Bender]

Omd! Are all husbands the same way? One time he left the front door wide open because he was late for golf! Thank god the screen door was closed and thank god it was pre-doodle days!
Oh Fudge... So glad you didn't have to stay outside for long! Good job on barking! Vern too!!!

[Karen, Jasper and Jackdoodle]

OMD, thank goodness she barked is right! Poor Fudge!

I really don't think having to give belly rubs is quite enough penance for such a grave oversight on John's part. I think this calls for some major credit card usage and/or pampering of the forgotten doodle's mother. :-)

[Candice & Bailey]

Fudge, you're a very lucky girl to have Vern and Mom looking out for you! Tsk tsk hubby! (sounds like something my husband would do!)

[Pat and Traveler]

Funny and scary!  What good dogs==working together to get Fudge back inside.  Trav knows his rights too.  He'll wait patiently at the door for a while, then use his special "I'm waiting" bark to motivate me.  This bark rapidly increases in intensity, as I discovered once when I was using the bathroom.  He has a different bark that means something gross is stuck on his backside and he's waiting in one spot for me to come out and take care of it. 

[BG and Gavin]

Oh Fudge you poor doodle.  Forgotten outside!  Who could forget a sweet girl like you?  You make sure that you continue to make your dad pay in belly rubs for some time to come to make up for his egregious error!  Laurie congratulations on not killing your DH.  You showed extraordinary restraint and should be given some type of award!

[Colleen, Jake & Baxter]

Vern was looking out for his sister, what a good doodle brother!  I am afraid if DD accidentally left Baxter out Jake would be very happy:^)....lol