I Fought the Poison Ivy, and the Poison Ivy Won!!!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

As many of you know and have been kind enough to ask about, I have poison ivy and it has not been fun.  In the past, I had no respect for the power of this plant because I have never had poison ivy before.  As a kid, I played out all day and I am sure I came in contact with this plant many times and I guess because nothing came of it, I developed a cavalier attitude and even scoffed at anyone who tried to warn me of the dangers.  Sometimes, when we would hike, my husband would point to something and say in his most apprehensive voice, “Look out, there is poison ivy,” and I would mockingly say back, “Oh, I am shaking, I am so scared.” My husband has had poison ivy from time to time and while it looked painful and annoying, I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.  Even the one time it moved into his nether regions, I can remember firing off joke after joke about how it got there in the first place and poo pooing his sweating theory and telling him he was going to make some lucky gal a very happy woman after he showed me the swelling.  Well, I have learned my lesson the hard way.  No more jokes, no more comments like, “Big whoop, I have given birth,” when someone tells me their war story about poison ivy, no more screwing up my face in a holier than thou expression when anyone says fearfully that poison ivy is awful.

You would think I would learn my lesson. Every time I get too cocky, the universe has been there to teach me a lesson.  I guess all those years of saying, “I don’t get poison ivy,” in the same authoritative tone you might say, "not interested,” to one of those salespeople in the middle of the mall who try to ambush you with their miracle potion by running at you and saying, “may I ask you a question?”  put me on a poison ivy hit list. Most of the time I wish it were legal to smack them over the head with my Auntie Anne’s pretzel bag and say, “the answer is no and I don’t like questions when I am shopping,” and spritz them in the face with a salesperson repellent.  Well, it was just a matter of time before someone upstairs took notice and decided to shut me up once and for all and said, “let’s show the little know-it-all that all mere mortals can get Contact Dermatitis.”  Why else did the little voice in my head say, “weed, Laurie, weed,” the other day when my husband and I clearly made a pact when we moved into this house that I was interior and he was exterior and that poison ivy sure wasn’t indoors?  Believe me, when I tell you I hate yard work, so it had to be a higher power at work pulling my strings.

 

Sure I am a member of the Gardening group and I can recognize a dandelion from a rose, but for the most part when it comes to flowers and weeds I don’t know my Ash from a Hole in the Wall.  I have also heard the expression, “leaves of three, let it be,” but who has time to count leaves when you are vigorously pulling up stalks and stems willy-nilly trying to finish a boring job before Dr. Phil comes on.  I also know that most women can tell the difference between real roses and fake roses, because years ago a good friend of ours gave his wife fake roses for Valentine’s Day.  His theory was they were more economical and would last longer, but she was not impressed.  In his argument, he said to pretend they were real flowers, so she did, and about a week later threw them in the trash.  Their marriage didn’t last and ours has and all I can say is I never got fake flowers.  You do the math.  Anyways, I got off topic, but in the future, my new motto is “leaves of three, turn and flee.” 

 

Well, when my husband got home from his work conference and took one look at me, he either said, “you are a sight for sore eyes or you are such a sight, you give me sore eyes.”  I met him at the door with one swollen eye, oozing wounds over much of my extremities, a face as red as a beet, and scratch marks that looked like I had gone ten rounds with a cat and lost.   He was less impressed when I said, “wait until you see the rest of my body,” although to be honest, the canvas hadn’t changed, just the colors. The funny thing is, and I almost hate to bring this to anyone’s attention, my hands are poison ivy free and I did not use gardening gloves. 

 

On Monday, I knew I had to seek professional help and ended up having to see someone other than my usual health care professional.  He was efficient, rushed because he was behind schedule, and either had no sense of humor or thought I was an idiot.  By the time he got back into the room with me, I was all but making monkey sounds as I scratched away and it took him one look at me to diagnose me. 

Since we are going to the beach soon, I told him I needed fixed up quickly before I donned my bathing suit because cellulite, white legs, and blisters, would not be a good look for a middle aged woman on the beach and all he did was look at me.  I guess I should be thankful he did not say, “Honey, if your BMI is the same as your age do us all a favor and wear a cover-up.”  I think his discretion had something to do with those new Big HIPAA Laws.  I can hardly wait to jump into that salty ocean water and I am sure most of you will hear me yelling, "Leaves of three, why me?" at the first sting. Thankfully, the medicine the Doctor gave me seems to be helping and from now on, I am leaving the yard work to the experts, although I do have to mow the yard today.

[F, Calla & Luca]

@Bruce Girl, Poison Ivy can definitely get on fur and be transferred to you. I'm not sure Gavin's dip would get it all off. I try to keep the dogs out of PI on our walks but it isn't easy.

[BG and Gavin]

I hope things are better for you Laurie.  We have a ton of poison ivy growing around our cottage road.  At the end of our walks, I always send Gav into the water to rinse off just in case he came in contact with it, I touched him and then touched myself.  Not sure if it can even spread this way, but I fool myself into thinking that a short dip by him protects me.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Thanks, Nancy!!

[Nancy, Ned, Clancy, and Charlie]

My husband swears that salt water is the universal cure=all especially for poison oak or poison ivy.  Hopefully a salt water dip will finish your cure.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lynda, I hope your ALD recovers quickly. I had a good laugh at your brother story :)

[Lynda Kamrath]

Well, it has happened again.  My ALD has poison oak, probably from our bike ride on Friday.  He gets it on his belly as did my other labradoodle.  I rub in the Tecnu, let it sit a few minutes, then wipe off with warm wash cloths.  Funny for a dog to have poison oak but you know exactly what it is when you look at it, and it does respond quite well to Tecnu.  My goldendoodle has never had it, but both labradoodles (with their hairless bellies) would get it.  You really can't keep them from raising their legs on an poison oak plant and they are all over under the oak trees.

Denise - my brother got poison oak from peeing in the woods and yep, he got it there.  He put calomine lotion on it and but it in a baggie so it wouldn't rub off.  My sister and I had a great time singing to him the old baggie commercial,  "...it's in the bag."  Just a random memory.

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Lisa, Thank you!! I hope you never have it and never EVER where Denise had it....LOL!!!

[Lisa, Daisy & Dexter]

I am afraid to say anything. You know what they say about what goes around comes around.

I feel for you Laurie but only from your complaints, I never had it and hopefully never will....especially where Denise had it OH MY!

[Laurie, Fudge, and Vern]

Denise, Wow....that does not sound like a great place to have poison ivy :) Thank you for the sympathy!! I feel better after I read this....that it could always be worse. LOL

[Denise & Hunter!!!]

Oh Laurie you have my sympathy!  I had a poison ivy about 8 years ago, it is still a very vivid memory, I was at a park with my ex-husband while we were on a motorcycle ride.  I had to pee and the port-a-potty totally grossed me out so I got the bright idea to go in the woods.  As I was doing my thing my ex-husband says "haha I hope there is no poison ivy in there!". Well guess what?  The &$#@% was smart for once!  I worked in a hospital emergency room at the time and the ER doc was a good friend, I went to work 2 days later with poison ivy in every imaginable crevice in my nether-region and walking like John Wayne.  I go to my doctor friend and tell him I have poison ivy and he says "let me check it out"  -  ahhh NO!!  I told him that even though he was a doctor he was still my buddy and no way was he was looking at my poison ivy "area".  Luckily he took me at my word seeing the way I walked and wrote me a few prescriptions.  I had to buy those men's briefs that looked like shorts to wear for about 10 days.  Soooo miserable! Now I am itching!  I hope you are better soon!!!!!!